[Closed] Charly's life

Hi Charly

You might fnd "The Power of Now" by Ekhart Tolle and interesting and provoking read and in tune with your thoughts. You CAN change that around you and also work out the "my" and the "self" in you.

Regards

Deeds

Hi Diary

Thanks Deeds. I'll have a look for the book when I'm near a book store next, although that might take a while.

I have finally been given my op date.

I went for my pre-op assessment yesterday and will have my Op this coming Monday.(09/03/09)

If all goes well(and I'm sure it will) I should be back home next week Friday(13th March)

I hope to be able to log on soon after and read up on all the diaries then, seeing I wil have a lot of time to fill.

I am also starting on my nicotine patches this weekend. I've been toying with the idea of giving up smoking for a while and am thinking, this is a great opportunity to give it a go as I won't be able to get outside the hospital grounds for a smoke anyway(at lest not for the first few days). I have therefore deicded that I am now in a place where I can tackle another addiction.

In the meantime you all take care of yourselves and stay positive in your recovery. One day at a time is all that's needed.

God Bless you all

Charly 🙂

Hi Charly

Hope all goes well with the hospital and the no smoking. Remeber to tell yourself you are a non smoker rather than "It's been X days since I last had a cigarette".

Take care

Steve E

Charly

Good luck with the Op. While in the book shop look out for Allen Carr's Eazy Way to Stop Smoking. It is a book and 2 cd set. He was an English guy, accountant who chain smoked 60 min per day and often more all his life. Tried every method known to stop but always failed so came up with his own. Sold 8 million copies and has franchised therapists using his method in 60 different countries. I'm not a smoker but I bought it to see if anything related to gambling. It certainly does, so maybe kill 2 birds with one stone

Good luck

Deeds

Hi Diary

This is it then. I'm in front of the computer writing, my boys are in bed...where I should be...but I can't sleep.

Went to my G.A. meeting earlier to take my mind of things.

It's funny...I can tell myself over and over again everything is going to be ok, but I am still nervous and anxious.

I have to be at the hospital at 11 am and will have my op round about 2 pm, depending how well the ops scheduled before mine have gone.

The op itself isn't bothering me because it is something that needs to be done.

What bothers me greatly is the pain I am going to be in when I come round and for days afterwards. My pain threshold just isn't there any more. I don't do pain, physical pain that is.

Crazy, I have come a long way in my recovery and I tell others to take one day at a time and deal with things as they arise...I do that in almost all aspects of my life now...but when there is pain involved...I'm a coward..I've had nightmares over this in the past few days. How silly is that. The doctors told me at the pre-op thing that if I am in pain then they will give me something to ease it. It just doesn't seem to have done much to calm my brain down.

I haven't smoked since Friday and it's very hard. I use lozenges as and when I feel the urge for a cigarette and tell myself - just for today I will not smoke.

It feels harder to give up cigarettes then it was to give up gambling.

I'll just carry on odaat and see where that takes me.

I just wish I could turn my brain off.

I'm gonna go and have a shower now and see if I can sleep after that.

I'm going to ask if my son can bring his laptop into the hospital towards the end of the week so I can write and give you a quick update.

Please stay safe in the meantime. Remember, we all recovery together, together we are strong.

God Bless

Charly. 🙂

Thinking of you (((Charly)))

Dee xx

Charly, thinking of you today and hoping all goes well and youre back fighting fit soon xxx

Hello Charly,

Just thinking of you, sending you strength and energy for a good & speedy recovery. You will deal with the pain, like you deal with everything else in your life, Charlys way.

Hope you are more comfortable soon

Love to you

Jackie xx

My thoughts are with you. Quiting smoking is hell (i've quit a month or so ago) but it really gets much easier after the 5th day.Good luck for the operation and hope you take it one day at the time keep us posted xx

((((Charly))))

Been thinking of you all day, know how you feel being scared is all normal and okay. If your anything like me come the hour and it all starts to happen then you will be fine, its the point when there's no turning back si its a c ase of go ahead and what will be will be. LOL no comfort but true, I has toothache for w eek 2 weeks ago and on the morning I finally gave in to an unavoidable trip to have the darn thing taken out, my angel told me I was very brave..I wsn't just knew there was no choice 🙂

Sending you hugs and as an ex smoker sympathise with you there too.

I gave up in early 2002 so now off them for 7 years used the lozenges so good luck with it all, sorry rambling abit here.

Godbless......accept what you cannot change and keep a peace of mind...........a little Budhism from my higher power for you.

love

W xxx

Hi Diary.

Well hellooooo...... I am back home 🙂

Thank you all for your kind messages. It was a nice surprise to read them when I logged on. I won't stay on too long as I am not too good sitting at the computer yet.

Just thought I let you know that the op went well and they let me go home Friday... my boys are doing good and are like bulldogs, making sure I don't do anything..bless them...

I will read up on diaries as soon as I am able to...and will write a bit more then.

In the meantime..take care of yourselves and recovery one day at a time.

God Bless

Charly xxx 🙂 🙂 🙂

PS: Not smoking is still going strong.

Because I am doing this for myself this time I am hoping to quit for good. But as a person with addictive behaviour I have to treat this like I treated the gambling..one day at a time...for me it was easier to stop gambling then it is to stop smoking...we will see... I am doing good for I haven't gambled or smoked today.

God Bless

C x

Welcome home ((Charly)),

So pleased the op went well. Take good care now, and take full advantage of your boys fussing over you lol. Fair dues to you for quitting smoking, I know how tough it is. I took up the dreaded habit quite young and gave up 7/ 8 years later. Best thing I ever did, well one of them lol. My physical withdrawal symptoms were similar to those of quitting gambling funny enough, just try and remember that it does get easier and the symptoms do pass and eventually disappear. I feel so much better not smoking, physically and mentally, you will too. Take care Charly.

Dee

Hi Diary

Am feeling better now although I have contracted an infection in my wound which is bein treated. Hopefully that will be sorted soon. Am able to sit in front of the computer a bit longer now which is good.

Have looked at the diary section and it is quite overwhelming to see so many new names and new diaries. It's all good stuff though, because it means that sites like this one is working for people who are looking for help to try and stop gambling.

I will spend time on the computer every day and try and read up on the diaries.

My big boss called me last week and the date of our office redundancy is being brought forward. I will not be returning to work now as I am signed off sick until the end of May and our office is closing on the 15th May.

Sad sad..to lose all my work friends... but... like my little brother said to me.... it can only lead to bigger and better things.

I have got something in the pipeline already and I hope it will work out well. Only time will tell.

You see... I have found faith..amd my faith gave me the strength to believe that I have nothing to worry about. Things will fall into place when they meant to. My higher power is looking after me as long as I don't try and take over again.

I still haven't smoked although I am finding it more difficult today. My 'boys' had to go back to work today and I'm on my own at home. I think it's boredom and old habits/routines returning again which make me crave cigarettes, which is silly as I haven't wanted to smoke for the past 2 weeks.

It's amazing how much of the G.A. recovery guidelines I can also use for this smoking addiction. It seems to work so far. One day at a time.

Whoever reads my ramblings..... I wish you well in your recovery and thank you for sharing my journey with me.

God Bless

Charly 🙂

Hi Dairy

Am feeling much better and the antibiotics seem to be doing the trick on the infection .

My big boss rang again today and the redundancy date has been moved back again, now to the 12th June.

Never mind. I'll just wait and see what happens next, I really can't worry about things I have no control over.

Have started reading diaries and some of the people on here worry me with the way they underestimate these "slips".

I am trying not to let it get to me. The serenity prayer says:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

But boy is that difficult sometimes.

I care what happens to people here, I care what happens to people in my G.A. group.

But I cannot change any of it, I can only change me and write about it in the hope that some of the things I am doing in my recovery, will help someone else in their recovery.

Just for Today I will not gamble - that helped me for the first few months

Now I am changing my way of thinking, changing behaviour patterns I don't like about myself. Practise daily until it becomes second nature. It's hard work...but it's worth it...because....what is the alternative??? ....back to gambling and the numbness of it all..... No thank you... I do not wish to go down that road again.... sometimes I think about gambling...I think ...maybe I could have a small fixed amount, go to a new casino...but, and it a big BUT.... I then follow those thoughts through to where my actions would lead if I gave in to those thoughts.....loss of those I love, loss of me..... I have only now begun to like/love myself..it is still a very new and strange feeling... but I like this feeling.... Just for today I will not gamlbe.

God Bless

Charly 🙂

thank you Charley for your kind words to me and being honest with Iain. This is what he needs a reality check.

I hope your recovery goes well, and dont do too much too soon.

Good luck in your new endeavours, and I am pleased you have found something worthwile,

Once again, thank you, it means a lot.

Debs x