[Closed] Charly's life

Thank you Keith for the encouraging words. God Bless you my friend.

I'm feeling a bit all over the place today. I am grateful I haven't had a bet and I am grateful that I can go to my meeting tonight and finally offload in my group.

I am upset because my hair is falling out really thick and fast now. So much so that I have decided to have it shaved this afternoon for definite. I didn't realise how much hair I had until I brush it and big chunks come out. It also surprised me as to how much this is really affecting me. I have been telling myself all along that it is ok and that it will grow again as soon as the chemo is over blah blah blah...only..when it actually happens...it hurts.... I just hope and pray that once it is shaved off I can get back to being positive. Right, that's me for the moment. I will come back later and write how I feel after the 'Big Shave' (lol)

God Bless

Charly

Charly,

Thinking about you and praying God makes you very strong to deal with this. Everytime I brush my hair from now on I will think of you........silly but I wanted you to know I care deeply about your current situation.

Love from Jas xx

No gambling is allowed by the way! Hair loss is not an excuse 🙂 .......(this post is just for fun as I would....in the past..use any excuse in the book to gamble. ) xx

Hey charly

You have a lot to deal with but you are a strong person and will pull through this without resorting to betting again.

There are many things in life that we have no control over....but gambling aint one of them.

Stay strong and take it all a day at a time.

Remember that you are not alone and have many shoulders to lean on when times get tough.

God bless

Jim (last bet 22/04/06)

Hi Charly.

Thank you for posting on my diary. I have read some of your diary and I think you are so brave with all you have had to cope with. I will take the time to read the rest of your diary later in the week as I am having my gallbladder removed weds. so when I am feeling better I will read it.

Good luck to you.

Karen.

(((Charly)))

I remember when my mom lost all her hair, and how hard it was for her, but she tried so hard not to let us know it. She always like wearing wigs, even when she had hair, because she said it was fun to make people think my dad had lots of different girlfriends! LOL... So we picked out lots of different styles for her to try on, and made a game of it.

I know things are so difficult right now, but just know that people all over the world are praying for you, sweet lady, and that inner strength you've shown all along is gonna get you through this!

Love ya,

Anna

Hi Diary

Thanks everyone for you continued support and your kind messages. They always help. Bless you

I really enjoyed my meeting last Sunday and feel much better now I have shared my thoughts and feelings with my guys and girls.

It just goes to show how very important my weekly meetings are and when people say that meetings make it, they are telling the truth. I was fortunate enough to have realised where my behaviour could so easily haev led me and because I shared this here I was able to stay strong until my meeting Sunday. It was strange to see me slowly turning back to my old behaviour, where I thought it would be easier to escape from all that is going on in my life at the moment. For a minute or two I thought of running away from it all, but know deep down that this kind of behavour just is not an option any longer, because it would hurt too many people I deeply care about, most of all it would hurt me. And I think I have done enough of that already.

Onwards and upwards, one day at a time.

I had my tooth out Monday and have been put on anti biotics as a precaution. As I'm allergic to Penicillin, I ahev been given Erythromyscin, which is upsetting my stomach and I feel constantly queasy.

I had my second chemo treatment yesterday and that had left me funny and tired. I had the stubble on my head shaved off this morning because it hurt to lay on it.

But hey..... there are people who are worse off then me and I should be ok at the end of this..so onwards I march.

The McMillan people were very happy about the cheque from my company, which made me feel a whole lot better. They all do such marvellous work for so many people.

Ok pees, that my update for now.

Love and hugs to all of you. Keep positive and strong. Together we can do this.

God Bless

Charly

Hi Charly, thanks for your post. Every meeting i go to seems to be growing in numbers and theres also a new group starting tonight near where my g/f lives so i will be having as look in there in the coming weeks to offer my support.

Im so fortunate that my Tuesday group is very strong and just like an extended family really and any squabbles are soon dealt with and forgotten.

Im so glad you are feeeing in a positive mood. We have all been where you were last week at some point in our recovery, although you have more reason than most to go through those emotions. Fortunately for us we have GA unlike many on here who havent yet found the fellowship and return to gambling and i know you are as passionate about it as i am.

You are right, Summers around the corner. My diary is crammed for the coming months, full of positive things and events ot go to which im looking forward to.

Thinking of you as always in all your recoveries. Keep being you and things will be fine. xx

Hi Charly

Just to say thanks for the last post, sometimes you just need a little support to buck ones feelings up...

Thankyou

GAZZA

Hi Charly

Thanks for your good wishes for my op.

Ufortunately my op was cancelled. Am feeling really depressed so just a quick post.

Luv Karen

Hi Charly

Sending you lots of love and hugs, proud of you ne very special lady.

Wishing you a happy weekend

love

W x

Dear Charly

Your story is truly inspirational. I am new on here (4 weeks) and feeling sorry for myself having been stupid, irresponsible, out of control etc to get myself in the state I have.

To read your story and see how you have stayed strong in spite of the adversity you are facing is a fine example to all of us who need to overcome our gambling addiction.

Thanks

David

Dear Charly, I have read snippets of your diary before but saw it was very long then this afternoon I read it all. Then realised it is a feat to have such a long diary as it shows how long you have been successfully beating the gambling and yet still find time to post on others.

Your journey has been a tough one but you have shown me the true meaning of strength. As my grandson would say "chillions and chillions of hugs". A special lady certainly and one hellva a fighter in all aspects of your life. Min x

Thank you to Keith, gazza, Karen, W, Ade, David and Min for your kind words.

As always they mean a lot to me and help me in my various fights, gambling related and not, 🙂

Am doing ok I suppose although it does feel different after this second chemo shot. I feel more tired and drained and agitated at the same time.

I feel lonely sometimes too.

Because I have always worked with a team of people, it seems strange to be at home trying to find things I can do without overdoing it, but not having any adult conversation all day. Soemtimes it feels bliss to be able to just go and lay down when I feel like it, but I am not a person to sit around so I am making my

own life hell at times. I don't want to moan about it because I am very fortunate in a lot of ways. It just gets me down sometimes. I think that is why I had the thought I did in the past week or so. Just to go and escape again, not having to think about anything. Switch off completely.

And then my recovery kicks in again(and I am so grateful for it) and tells me...ah stop there girl...where would you be if you go down that road again... even more alone,... in a cardboard box....dead....

I am learning to think things through to the end and as you can see..it is not really an option... because life has so much more to offer then sitting in front of a slot machine.

Also, it is hard sometimes to talk at home, because I think I want to protect those I love around me. I don't want to burden them with my thoughts and worries as I am sure they will have plenty thoughts and worries of their own. But at the same time I must share my thoughts with them to be able to move on in my recovery. G.A. says recovery is selfish and it is true. I must be able to like me and live with me before I can live and like/love others. Although I have always been able to love others, just not me. One day at a time will teach me this too,I am sure.

Have a good week of recovery.

God Bless all fighting cg's and all those willing to learn about them and may we all find the inner strength to fight this addiction and become better people.

Thanks for reading and thanks to gamcare for giving me the chance to write my thoughts down.

God Bless you all

Charly

Your posts are always humble and ones that just make me smile. So considerate and caring. You have come along way and thinking things through and saying No is really good. Stay strong you have come so far. Thanks for my post and normally there is someone on here to talk to. Keep posting good luck in your recovery for today dont gamble but most importantly smile 🙂

Hi charly

Wishing a good and speedy recovery, and a bet free future.

All the best

GAZZA