[Closed] Charly's life

Hi Charly and good to read you are still being positive. Not sure how u do it mind!! shows what a determined and strong lady you are. Makes me feel humble that the gambling is the only thing I have to fight and yet you have done that and now faced with another battle, you are taking that on with the same vigour.

Any happiness you have in your life will be well deserved as you are one gutsy lady.

Luv as always Min

Thinking of you Charly. Thank you for all your support.

Jas xx

Hi Diary

A big Thank you to Jasmine, Cantcope, determined david, willster, Pierre, Jac, nwn, downbeat, W and Ade for your well wishes and kind words.

As always....... they mean a lot to me.

The second week of my chemo is always the worse week. I am so tired and achy, I can't be asked to do anything really.

I try to do a bit round the hosue but get to exhausted.

I hoovered my lounge today and when I was done(my lounge is tiny) I was knackered. I was completely out of breath and broke out in a sweat. It really winds me up when I get into a state like that just from hoovering. I felt as if I climbed Mount Everest.

I then have to remind myself that my body is fighting the chemicals that have been injected into me with all it's might and that therefore I have no energy to do anything else. I feel so utterly useless. My boys work all day and are tired too when they come home. There is me at home all day and more tired then both of them together. Ridiculous. I will be glad when the chemo is over with and I can get back to being me( 100mile an hour Charly lol)

There.......... I feel better now I hvae aired that.

I am so very grateful for this diary.........

LOL..I have just read what I have written......you know guys ..if the above is all I have to worry about then I must admit.....my life is good....

I wish you all well and include you all in my prayers.

May we all find the strength every day to fight the demon - addiction - and find the courage to look in the mirror and...like what we see.

God Bless

Charly

Charly,

Lovely to meet you in chat........I liked how you referred to me as "kiddo". It's really spooky but that is what P calls me!

Right, put your feet up and relax girl. Why are you hoovering?????? You need rest and plenty of it.

You are going to be fine, I just know it. I am asking God to make sure of it. He's been pretty good to me in the past so I trust him.

Love from Jas xx

Hi Charly xxx so lovely to catch up with your diary, I just wanted to say, now i have a new start diary, your diary was one I looked for, you give me such strength to hear you fighting , thank you Charly and a gentle hug to you xxxxx G xxx

Charly, sending you lots of love and strength. Dont overdo it, there will be plenty of time for that in the future.

As with gambling abstinence, you need your energy and strength early doors to build on for a healthy future life.

Keith xx

To lovely Charly,

Thank you for the post on my diary and for looking out for me. You read me like a book, clever girl you!

I hope you are looking after yourself, if not, I'm telling you to.

You are brill, Jas xx

Hi Charly, Thank you for your post on my diary. You have been a big part in my recovery too, you were the first to really paint the picture of the depths and lengths a gambler could go. I kinda knew but was in denial, couldn't deal with thinking my husband was so deceitful, but to see it in black and white really helped me take my head out from up my a**! And deal with it.

You are a very courageous lady, it takes guts to be as honest as you are. Happiness and contentment are things that cannot be bought, as you say, they are free, they come from within. I'm so glad you have found some peace.

Hope you are not feeling so tired, keep your chin Charly. You can look in the mirror and be proud of who you are and what you have achieved. You are in charge of your destiny, Love Ostrich x

Thank u charly for your kind words on my diary.

Hope u are feeling stronger since the 2nd chemo and get back to being 100 mile per min Charly!!!

Take care and know that if all the kind thoughts and warmth we feel for you on here, could be felt by u personally, you would be too hot to handle!!!!Min x

charly!!!! just a hug to you, i feel you are such a fighter, its an inspiration to lots of people on here , well done for staying gamble free too xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi There Diary.

First of all, thank you to all well wishes and prayers over the past few months.

THEY WORKED. HOORAY.....YIPHEE.....

Sorry but ~I'm so excited and need to shout it out to the world.

I had my check up yesterday and the doctor said: " Your levels have gone back to normal....you are already cured as far as you can go, but just to make doubly sure we are going to give you one more full blast of paxo taxil(3hr drip that causes the hair loss)) and carbo platin(1 hr drip) tomorrow. The 5th and 6th treatments will only be the 1hr chemo."

Hip Hip Hooray......

I am so very happy. I thank all of you for your positive posts. Those posts have kept me going and kept me positive along with my Higher Power, my G.A. buddies and my family.

I have faith. I believe I was fortunate to have this cancer found as early as it has. It was meant to be. Maybe I was meant to go through this to built my character and to make me stronger. Strong enough maybe to deal with life. I don't know what God has planned for me but I trust in my Higher Power to know what I can handle.

I had my chemo today and am beginning to feel tired. I have also had some less good news yesterday.

My Dad was rushed into hospital with his heart rythm out and bronchitis which was borderline to becoming pneumonia....he has had 2 major heart attack in the past and was put in the high dependancy ward in Germany.

Again, I know he will be ok because God won't take him just yet. God knows I would very much like my Dad to give me away when my angel and I can finally get married at some point next year.

And if God decides that my Dad deserves eternal rest, then that is His decision to make and it is not something I have control over. I will deal with it as and when.........

I wish you all well and pray that we are all strong enough to let go...

God Bless

Charly xx

P.S. Yeah....am watching WImbledon and Federer has just won...

(((((((((((((((((((CHARLY))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

That is GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT news girl

In fact thats the second bit of good news i have had today..............

Hope you got some strawberries and cream at your side .............

FANBLOODYTASTIC ..........XXXXXXX

LUV N HUGS

Kim xxx

Charly, what amazing news girlie!

Life is for you right now, take it with both hands and run....as fast as you can 🙂

Love and strength to you Charly from me...your friend who you will probably never meet...Jasmine xx

You make so much sense Charly. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

You have been through so much and yet you give so much to others, truely wonderful behaviour.

Jas xx

Thanks Kim and Jasmine for your lovely posts.

Today is another special day in my diary.

Although I have gone past my 2 year not gambling mark on the 5th June, I am receiving my 2 year G.A. pin tonight at an open meeting in at my local G.A. group.

There is also another member who will be celebrating with me and that will be great. He had a few struggles on the way himself and I am really proud of him finally achieving his 2 years.

It has been an amazing roller coaster ride.

And even now... I still struggle every now and then. But I am fortunate enough to have been given the tools to work through those struggles, either by coming here an sharing, by going to meetings, by calling my G.A. buddies, talking to my "little brother" or my family. The G.A. books are also very good tools to use when struggling an there are a lot of useful books out there.

Once I found the path of wanting to get better, life has become better, regardless of what crxp it has thrown at me in between. It is defenitely easier to deal with life when I haven't got to deal with lies, deceipts, causing arguments to go and have a bet, generally causing havoc.

I am learning to look at myself and say..hey...you are not as bad as you think you are..and slowly slowly I am seeing the good person behind the image I have painted of myself for most of my life.

I am able to live this "better" life, G.A. kept talking about.

Small steps, sometimes those steps go back, but mostly they lead me forward and I am grateful for them, all of them, for they are teaching me positive things.

I am also grateful for people like all the guys and girls here regardless of being gamblers or supporters of a gambler or a relative or friend who just needs to find their own recovery here. And of course the gamcare team who have made it possible for all of us to come here, share and help each other.

Long may it continue.

I wish each and everyone of you success in what you are trying to achieve.

May God Bless us all.

Charly xx