[Closed] Charly's life

Hi all you lovely people. Thank you all for your words of wisdom and friendship. My boy and my angel still weren't talking until Xmas day. I will start at the beginning... Angel sent son an e-mail which seemed like an e- mail to an employer rather then family... son seemed to be waiting for angel to say sorry and let's talk and angel was waiting for son to come round so they could talk. I suggested a truce over Xmas, asked son if he could promise not to be alone Xmas day, and when he did, I text my girl and said we're coming up for Xmas if that was still ok with her. Never seen a happier face. She cried happy tears when she got msg. Anyhow Xmas was great. We're with angel's sister at the moment and all is good. All that because charlygirl decided to take herself and her mental marathon out of the equation and convinced herself that son and angel are grown ups who are old enough to sort out their own stuff. And that I do not have to feel guilty for any of it. I decided it was not my fault nor my problem.

Part 2 - phone won't let me write everything in 1 msg. Anyhow. Son called Xmas day to wish of Happy Xmas and asked to speak wit angel. Seems they're gonna talk when we're back home. Yeah! As for my hospital appointment. Well, angel had to work so son took time out from his job to come with me. I'm glad that son wasn't really listening or it would have upset Xmas even more. Haven't told anyone this yet, I wanted all to have a nice Xmas holiday. Seems cancer is at work again. Ca125 levels have gone up from 67 to 170. He it wasn't for the fact that I only stopped chemo in August, I would be having more treatment now. They are trying to wait with chemo as long as they can to give my andy a bit more time to recoup from the last lot. Have been given tablets to take to keep things at bay in th meantime. Sorry guys that The news isn't better. I'm ready to burst now and needed to share this somewhere. Will talk with my family after we return home on Tuesday. Bless in. Son said...

Past 3 - Hmmm... At least the doctor didn't say that The cancer is back. Love it. Cancer never went in the first place. But... It being Xmas Eve I let him carry on thinking that. Like I said I didn't want anyone to have a bad Xmas. So my friends. Looks like this girl needs to get her fighting gloves out again and give it her best. Maybe I shouldn't have hung them up in the first place, lol. I shall enjoy today and tomorrow with angel's family. Then we'll drive home and then I will talk to them all. I didn't lie by the way. I told them that The tablets were to stop my joints from aching which is true. They reduce the production of something in the body which in turn will then hopefully slow the cancer growing so fast. It also meant to stop the pain in my joints which they now think is linked to the cancer rather then a side effect to the treatment.

Thank you diary for letting me unload. Lote you guys. You all take care and I hope you all had a lovely Xmas. Have a Happy New Year. God Bless. Sabine xx

Sabine

I cant say i have ever known anyone as thoughtful and kind as you.

Please write whatever helps you on these diaries.We all know by now that you are a fighter.Its just so very rare for someone to be so strong yet so caring.I hope all goes well with angels family.Expect lots of tears.I wish you well Jeff.

Sending you my love Sabine. Will keep you in my thoughts. You are a wonderful person.

you mention angel in a lot of your posts....you re the gamcare angel and as graham and jeff have said you are in my thoughts as well x

Thank you for your kind posts. They made this girl shed a tear or three. Today is the day. We shall leave angel's family just after lunch and once we are home, I shall tell my secret. Seems bizarre and it was quite difficult. I don't keep secrets anymore. Yet, I firmly believe I have done the right thing. Everyone has enjoyed their Xmas without worrying about me, which is what I intended. Now the time has come when they need to know. Together we are stronger and I need them as much as they need me. Thank you all for your continued support. The love this site shows is second to none. I am grateful to all of you. Let 2011 be a good year for all of us. Lots of love to all of you. God Bless. Sabine. x

Hi sabine

I hope 2011 is a great year for you. My thoughts are with you.

all the best

Jim (last bet 22/04/06)

You will be in my thoughts:).If anyone has the faith and strength to come through this it's you Sabine.

Seano.

My goodness Sabine, I've a feeling angel and son will forget their differences now.

I'm so very sorry to hear you have had a deterioration in your health yet again. Your battles have been coming thick and fast lately.

I don't know what to say, I wish your news had been better for you.

Keep posting, and sending you lots of love,

f x

Thank you for your kind words, Jim, Seano and Freda. It means so much to me, knowing I have people around the world I can talk to about anything. And it is anything these days. Although gambling will be a part of me for the rest of my life, it thankfully isn't a big part of my life anymore. I am able to tackle Life's ups and downs without having to resort to gambling and for that I am grateful. I have spoken with my angel last night and he seemed to be ok. He knows in what weird and wonderful way his girlfriend's mind works and understands my reasons for not saying anything sooner. But from now on, he says, we are uniting and fighting together, whatever comes our way. He promised to open up a bit more and talk a bit more too. All good stuff. Maybe God send us this trial to make us stronger and teach us to communicate more. Today I will tell my children and the rest of the family. Today I pray for guidance to find the right words. Words of explanation not fright. Find calm and peace gamcarians. God Bless. Sx

Hi Sabine... your inner strength will see you through. My thoughts are with you.. S.A 🙂

Our thoughts are with you during this challenging time.

Get through the next few days and 2011 will be a doddle!

GT

Hi Charly.. just wanted to thank you for your support this year. happy new year.. S.A 🙂

((((((((((((((Sabine)))))))))))

Thanks for your lovely post, I am glad you gave yorself and the family a special chritmas,it hurt noone but you are very brave and I admire you truly.

May you and your angel win this battle and one way or another I know you will.

love and hugs

W xxx