[Closed] Charly's life

Hi Sabine. Hope all goes well.

another great post always inspiring 😉 hope all goes well for you sabine 🙂

Your an inspiration to all on here.

Wishing you well.

Viggo.

Just to say I'm thinking about you 🙂

Love Del x

Hello Sabine,

Sending you strength and much love

Jackie xx

Here is an update from me. Chemo is making me very very tired. I feel like I'm hibernating most days.

Tuesdays - Chemo, forget Wednesday, I sleep all day and night,

Thursday I get up just to keep laying back down and sleep, feel nauseous a lot

Friday - it gets better, I don't feel overwhelmingly tired, just knackered. Saturday- I smile, things are getting better still, Sunday and Monday I feel almost back to normal Tuesday - chemo ......and the circle begins again.

I have next week off from chemo to give my body a chance to catch up. Yeah!!!

I am planning to go and see a few friends. I haven't left the house in the last 3 weeks, only to be picked up for treatment. Am in Manchester from the 8th to the 10th April. National Gamblers Anonymous AGM on Saturday and National Committee meeting on Sunday.

Am flying up Friday to meet up with my former boss, who has relocated there. She doesn't know yet, I'm coming. I hope she's not on holiday.

Then, on the 12th the cycle begins again, three weeks of staying in(except for the odd evening out at the weekends with my man 🙂 ). I pray to God this time it will work. It's exhausting and I can understand people who end up saying - no more - although I won't be one of them. As long as they can give me stuff, I'll have it.

Have registered for Race for Life on the 10th July and have started raising money for that. It makes me feel good to be able to give something back and say Thank you for keep saving me.

Thank you to all who have send their well wishes. They are very much appreciated.

Will update again soon. And when I feel really good I will take some time out to read your diaries to find out how my friends are doing.

God Bless

Sabine

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Nothing happens to any man that he is not formed by nature to bear.

--Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Reflecting on the past reveals that indeed we do find the strength and the ability to cope with whatever experience ripples our calm. Moreover, we have come to accept that these tides of turmoil wash in new awarenesses, heightened perceptions, and measurable calm.

Tragedies are guaranteed to trigger first pain, then perceptible growth, and finally, tranquility. Over and over again we pass through these stages that are designed to nurture our fuller development as healthy human beings. Over and over we see that the tough times teach us what we're ready to learn.

We can look to the day ahead fully expecting to be strengthened enough to handle whatever we've been readied to experience. Nothing will present itself that can't be coped with.

Today I can be certain of growing. I will meet the challenges in unison with my inner strength.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

Hello, good friend. Thank you so much for your post. You are an amazing lady . I just hope and pray that you will come out fighting, I pray that all will go well. You are one of Gods Angels.

Sending my love from one who is disturbed, not understanding the world. I lay in bed all day with depression. I used to be the main man in my 30`s. However, this wonderful world is about gambling. Not shoving it in fruit machines, but how your endowment policy goes, or the £1,000s you pay in pensions.Or rip off companies,

I so hope you get better soon my friend.

In my thoughts. x

Sounds like you have fun some times ahead to look forward to! 🙂

Sorry you are feeling so rough for much of the time, maybe its like childbirth, you know feeling awful but with a great reward waiting at the end 🙂

I want to sponsor you Sabine! maybe you could pass your sponsorship details on to Gamcare, if you don't feel comfortable posting them on your thread? Im looking for a new volunteering adventure. I'm unfulfilled in my current job, and not many alternatives around, so making the best of it and seeing if I can offer some time to help people in my home city.

Nice to read an update from you, don't push yourself to though, if you are feeling grotty. Much more important to spend your less grotty time with your lovely man 🙂

Take care,

f x

Thank you Graham and Freda for your messages. Freda, I'm not fussed about leaving my online sponsorship details. The more people donate, the more people can be helped. It's www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/sabineduverne1404 Thank you Freda. God Bless. xx

Hi diary. I'm having one of those - feeling sorry for myself- days. Thought about what is causing it and I believe it to be several things. I can't do the things I want to do. I get tired too quickly and because of it I become impatient, frustrated and upset. I am almost 47, still a youngster in some peoples eyes. I feel like I'm 100. I would love to be there for my Mum and can't. Now that is really upsetting me. My Mum had her own demons to fight in her life but she did her best by us, of that I'm sure. And now, when she needs our help the most, only my sister and 1 of my 5 nieces is there for her. My sis called today to give me an update. It made me cry. We are losing our Mum before our eyes and we are powerless to do anything about it. Life is so cruel sometimes. I'm grateful to have my diary to offload. x

u are one amazing lady sabine

please dont loose sight of that or yourself

love

rusty

xx

Thank you Rusty.

Today I feel a bit better. thanks to the recovery program I have learnt to just feel my emotions and I have learnt to accept that there are many factor in my life I have no influence over.

Accepting these things have enabled me to live my life without fear.

With a lot of emotions but without fear.

I can laugh and cry and feel up or down, I feel happy, sad, angry, restless, drained, loved, pushed away, embraced, treasured, not liked and lots of other emotions.

I embrace them all, good or bad, they are part of who I have become. I have accepted Me for who I am, not for who I was.

I enjoy the little pleasures in life, like watching the birds in my back garden, hearing my son laugh, talking to my daughter on the phone, sharing with my loved ones. Sharing is something I am learning. When I gambled everything was a secret. Nobody was allowed anywhere close to me, for fear I would slip up on my lies and be found out.

Now I can't wait to share things with them. They know, and I know, there is nothing hidden anymore. But it's a gradual process. Sometimes I find myself trying to go back into my old shell, but...I recognise the signs now. I usually call my sponsor to talk. Once I have spoken with him, I can then go and share with my loved once.

One day soon, I am hoping to be able to talk with my loved ones, before I speak with my sponsor. When that happens, I will know, I truly have made progress.

Life is good, I am grateful...

Grateful to have been given the chance to make amends, grateful to have been given the chance to find "Me"...

Wishing you all a gamble free day, week, month, year..however you deal with "You"

God Bless

Sabine

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Home wasn't build in a day.

--Jane Ace

Newcomer

I'm a lot better than when I was active in my addiction. But parts of my life still feel beyond my control. I don't mean earthquakes or floods. I mean getting to the dentist, repairing the car, doing the laundry, eating well. There are a lot of things I'm not taking care of the way I think I should.

Sponsor

Part of applying Steps Six and Seven to our lives is to take a look at simple behaviors that are keeping us uncomfortable and unbalanced in our recovery. Though we're not using addictive substances or behaviors, we may still be putting off the dentist, living on fast food, neglecting personal appearance, having no time for home or car maintenance, or letting bills pile up. The problems may seem minor - such things as always arriving ten minutes late to work, routinely losing keys or eyeglasses, never finding time for exercise - but they point to where we're stuck in our process of recovery. Over time, they pose risks to, rather than support of, our health and serenity.

We don't expect overnight cures, and we don't demand perfection of ourselves. We begin with awareness of what isn't working well for us. Then, each day, we take a small step toward change.

Today, I acknowledge a habit that stands between me and my serenity. I'm willing to take one small step toward changing it.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

ty so much for your kind words i really do take note of wot u have to say like ive said b4 u are a inspiration to me i will take strength from your advice ty again and you stay strong and healthy and keep doing wot u do god bless hun u are in my prayers

xxx cathy

Thank you Cathy. Hi All. Am having a busy week. Have packed a lot into this, my one good week in between chemo. Went to lunch Tuesday with a former work mate, spend a lunchtime yesterday seeing and talking with another. This morning I flew to Manchester for the A.G.M. for Gamblers Anonymous UK, which is tomorrow,then National Committee Meeting Sunday and then fly home Sunday night to be greeted by my lovely daughter who has come down from Nottingham to see her Mum and has to make do with her brother and Stepdad until then. This morning I went to see my former boss who has relocated to Manchester when the company shut down shop and moved there and made most of us redundand. She misses the old team too. Glad I'm not the only one. Beautiful day today. Am resting now. Did a lot of walking around Manchester. More tiring then I thought. All good fun though. Embrace recovery and enjoy every day. Have a gamble free weekend my gamcarian friends. God Bless. Sabine. xx

just dropped in to say hi charly , you probably wont remember me i posted a while back, twice starting with new names then letting it drop off by the wayside, i hope you continue from strength to strength xxx