[Closed] Charly's life

Wonderful Sabine. Guess God did a bit of count up and said " Hey, we don`t have that many Angels on planet earth. " So prayers being answered. Thank you Lord for realising that the world would not be a better place without our sister Sabine. God Bless.

Hope you had a beautiful day with your angel, god bless

love W xxx

Hi Sabine.

Really hope you had a fantastic Xmas with your family.

Wishing you and your family my very best for 2012!

Viggo.

Hope you had a magical Christmas and that you are now all ready for the New Year full of hope.

GT

Thank you to all my gamcare friends for all your support in 2011. It has given me hope and strength throughout.

My last test was positive too. Levels have further gone down. They are now at 1145. Had my 4th chemo Wednesday, so am feeling rubbish at the mo, but as long as it works as it does, I'll take it.

I had a magical Christmas with my angel and my son. My daughter and her man came day after boxing day to spend a couple of days with us. I was thoroughly spoilt and was made to feel very special. My little brother popped in with his lovely wife for which I was grateful, considering S only had that one day off to do all the shopping. And they still took the time to come and see this 'ole girl. Bless them.

I'm glad and humbled to have so many friends, walking along the same path as I, but I'm especially grateful for God letting me walk along my little brother's path. He's a very special person, he just can't always see it. Love you little brother and am looking forward to the US convention in October with you, S, my angel and our spiritual parents.

Just popped in to wish you all a positive, gamble free year. As long as each of us believes in ourselves and does recovery one day at a time, this addiction cannot get us anymore. Believe in yourselves as you have believed in me getting better.

Trust in your Higher Power to guide you through good and bad times. It works if you let it.

Happy 2012 to all of you, my precious friends.

God Bless

Sabine xxx

1145? Get in there! Wonderful news : )

Happy new year xxx

Sabine, that is tremendous news! Happy New Year indeed 🙂 Big Hug Love Del xox

Hiya Lovely Woman,

Just popping in to say hello and thinking about you 🙂

Love Del x

Hi my lovely friend, just popping by to say hello and wish you all the best,great that you have had such good results, althought the treatment sounds truly draining.

I was looking through the site and it saddens me the rate at which forum members are growing-not because they are trying to recover,thats great-but in thinking they are the tip of the iceberg!!

Sadly I can't help but feel the problem of such accessible gambling is having such a huge impact.

Anyway,enough of that,don't want to hijack your diary for a rant 🙂

Love to you and your Angel, me and mine are still loving this gamble free life!!

lots of love

W xxx

Hope all is well with you and that 2012 has started well.

GT

hi sabine, just dropped by to say hello ........

no, that isnt true ..............

i have watched the brave way you have worked through this illness of yours, and hve been inspired and often wondered how you can look at what is going on for you with such dignity and courage.

i have an ulterior motive for posting on your diary, and its entirely selfish. maybe i should apologise ............ but i just need some space, and hoping that you can understand where i am

last monday i was told i needed to have a lung biopsy. on wednesday my gp gave me some correspondence that suggested that i migth have liver mets

am in a complete head f*** at the moment, my biggest concern is that i dont have enough information

might get some more info on tuesday, but dont know if i can cope with the worst news

i guess if it is the worst news, i ahve a role model to follow, and can only hope that i can be as brave and as gracious as you

huge hugs sabine, you are really close to my heart just now

love

rusty

xx

Oh Rusty. Sorry I haven't been around. I shall call gamcare tomorrow and give them my contact details to pass on to you and then we can talk on the phone and by e-mail. In the meantime, keep you chin up and follow my lead. Sending huge Hugs and lots of Love your way. x To all my gamcare friends. I've reached that - can't do anything stage - again, at least for the next 3 months or so. Although the chemo has done wonders with its first 3 cycles, it stopped working with the forth one. Instead of going down, the levels slowly crept up again. They are still a long way from what they were in October. But having to have at least 3 months break from all medication, gives the cancer time to grow like mad again. But... it also gives me the chance to go and do a few things and get out and about.

I shall write a bit more from my computer tomorrow. You all take care and stay safe. God Bless. Sabine xx

i am not a religous person, i belive in god but that is as far as it goes. i am not a church goer nor have i read the bible or even talk about god. i dont watch the god channels and my knowledge or god and jesus and moses could be written on a postage stamp. however after reading threw your posts and the rollercoaster of emotions which you realeased, the ups and the really down downs. i justs have to say that you deserve the top spot in heaven. your a great inspiration to never give up and threw your courage and strength you have given me the motivation and passed the strength on to me to keep fighting this gambling cr** and start living my life. i havent gambled for 33 days now the longest i have ever managed since starting at 12. 9 years!! after reading your posts i think i can do another 33 days easily. THANKYOU and all the best from surrey xxxxxxxx

Hear Hear..

The angel of our diary's, now locking arms with the rusty version.

Wishing you and all around you all the very best...

T/C Pauls

Thank you Freda, Delgirl, GT, Rusty, Lawisaddicted and Pauls ex mug for your kind words and thank you Rusty for reaching out. You are all always in my prayers.

Update time I think.

Gee, my life is like a novel, you just never know what is on the next page. Just when you think, things have settled and are looking up, boom, comes the next challenge..ok... I can deal with it, I have a very powerful ally, my Higher Power, so bring it on and I shall do my best day by day.

I had some chestpain when I woke up on the 2nd January, thought not much of it, just thought I had laid wrong. On the insistance of my son, I called my cancer nurse(to humour him really, expecting her to agree with me) That was not the case. She told me to get myself over to A&E straight away, which I did. By the time we got there, they were waiting for me.Turns out, that I had blood clots on the lung. I got to spend 4 days at the hospital with loads of tests. When I was sent home I was given blood thinning medication to self inject once a day for the next 6 months. I was also told that, whilst they were checking my abdomen, they found 2 new tumours, one on the neck of the pancreas and one in the right lobe of the liver. Both are very small at the moment, but already causing me pain, grrr.(Whoever invented Morphin, I am forever grateful)

Anyhow, when I went back for blood tests in January in readyness for my 5th chemo, I was told that the bloods hadn't returned to normal, chemo would have to be postponed for a week. And.... instead of going down further, the CA125 level had gone up by 105. The following week I had some more bloods done and although they were back up to normal, the desicion was made not to carry on with the chemo, as the level had risen by another 75 in one week. There is no point, giving me this stuff, make me feel like rubbish for a fortnight, if it is not reducing the cancer any longer.

So my dear friends, here we are again... end of the line???

NO! NO! NO!

I had my ct scan last Friday and I get the results on the 2nd March when I see my consultant. She has already said over the phone, that what will more than likely happen is, that I will have a 3 months break from all chemo and chemo type tablets, to give my body time to heal iself a bit. Then, there is this new stuff out, was licenced for use in UK only 4 weeks ago, called Avastin that can buy me more time before the cancer grows again, it may even reduce it a bit. Test results were different with different stages and advance of the cancer. Will discuss all options with doctor on the 2nd March.

Good thing is, they finally managed to do the scan with the contrast, they found one lonely vene they could use(hooray). It will give them a clearer picture as to where and how big the individual growths are.

As long as they can give me stuff to buy me a little more time to spend with my loved ones, then that is ok. I know that at this moment in time there is no cure. Buying time, buys time also for all the scientists out there to find a cure for me and all the other cancer people( I refuse to call us sufferers, makes it sound bad in my head) and I like good stuff in my head. 🙂

Well anyway, I thank all of you who check up on my diary, I hope that my story gives others strength to deal with everything life has to offer, good or bad or indifferent, without feeling the need to run away and gamble. That, my gamcarian friends, does not solve a single issue, it multiplies them by however much more you loose(money, self respect, time, loved ones)

One day at a time, I am going to enjoy my life, however long or short it may be. Live life as if it was your last day, just live it without gambling for it's not worth living with gambling.

I have so many friends all over the world now, my family are with me, supporting me in my tough times. I would be all on my own if I was gambling. And then all this fighting for my life would be worthless. There would be no point.

So let's ask our Higher Power(and that does not have to be God) to give us the strength and self belief to let go and let God(of our understanding).

A friend of mine sees his partner as his Higher Power, another sees the G.A. room as his Higher Power.

I just think it is important to realise that, while I try and control my life, I messed it up big time, now I have accepted that there has got to be something much bigger than little 'ole me, my life has become good. I can live with cancer. Gee, if someone had told me that 5 years ago, I would not have believed them. I would have been sitting in the casino forgetting everything and everyone around me.

Trust and believe in yourself and in your ability to achieve whatever you set your mind to. Change your own outlook, change from within, learn to see good instead of bad, love instead of hate. Once the self has changed, the surrounds and the people surrounding you will change.

I cannot change anyone else but me, but, by changing me, things and people around me will change.

Love to you all

God Bless

Sabine xx