I have spent the last couple of days reading as much as I can about why I gamble. It has taken a while but I think I have got somewhere close to the bottom of it.
I read a free book which I downloaded from http://www.wanttostopgambling.com/info2.cfm?info_id=21945
It all comes down to what we inwardly believe. I also realise what I have lost is no longer mine to chase - I made the choice to pit my wits against the machine and in fairness if I had won the cashier would have paid out no questions asked BUT I didn't so the money now belongs to them.
I now need to do as much as I cannot to reinforce all that is bad about gambling and only time will tell if I achieve this by staying away from the FOBT's.
It only 2 days since I last played (lost of course) and abstainance is easier when a loss is fresh. Will try to keep this diary regular to track my progress.
Hi Dave
Been reading many of your posts and they have plenty of correlation with my past!
f(ree) O(f) B(etting) T(erminals) is my goal!
Thanks JB - well I vote that you and I make a commitment to encourage each other ?
I realise I have just been a sucker and have played right into the hands of those who plot to remove as much money from us as possible.
hi dave keep it up. i hear they all get together once a month to think of more ways of getting money out of us on the machines.
Just back from lunch which is one of the periods of the day I would fill by playing the roulette machines.
The more I think about what I did on Saturday morning the sillier I feel.
I must not lose sight of the fact the £720 I gambled on Saturday was what I had accumulated as winnings. You could argue I won first, they won second so thats quits.
I am spending too much time in 'hindsight land' thinking about what else I could have spent the £720 on but deep down I know I would have never stopped while I was in credit overall.
Its helpful to picture in my mind the FOBT marketing strategists having their regular planning meetings to think of how to best get money from me.
I would imagine the strategists were delighted when they decided that cash cards could be used to top up the machines as this saves people going to bank machines and risking them having second thoughts!! I kind of think I am now sticking two fingers up to them - they are now wasting their time on me as far as I am concerned.
The way I feel at the moment I would rather burn the money than give them any more.
3 days completed - 1 day at a time though.
well done on 3 days dave,your posts are very positive indeed...as for you winning then losing it all....many of us on here have done that manys a time....we cannot win because we cannot stop is a useful phrase on these diaries,stay strong you can do it,we all can 😉
Dave - With regards to you win then loss imagine how I felt blowing £9K 'winnings' plus probably more the very next day after winning it! (Online slots)
The book you linked to describes this process very well, even if you hit the elusive 'big win' it will always go back in unless you can take 'that' step!
Heres a plan.......
Stitch up your pockets!!!!! 🙂
Forget the old chapter ....... make a new one 🙂
Keep going Dave.
Tc
Kim xxx
STAYSTRONG STAYSTRONG STAYSTRONG
Dave
The piece of advice that sticks with me when i first came on this forum m8 was.What is done is dont i cant get my money back let it go.
So true Dave.It no longer matters what you could have done with your money.It does matter what you will do with it from now on Dave.I hope that helps m8.All the best Jeff.
I cannot gamble because I cannot stop - thats it ! Thats what I will be telling people and in no way feel ashamed of.
I guess the problem drinker would be 'I cannot have a drink as I cannot stop once I start'.
This mindset and using my imagination to picture gambling bosses plotting to extract cash from us any which way is really powerful for me.
I have a couple of days off work and without doubt would have been making excuses to get out of the house to play roulette then lying about why I had been so long ie met a friend, caught by traffic etc etc - you all know the score.
Instead we are now all off out for a while - early days but losing such a hurtful amount of money last Saturday could be the making of me!
5 days complete - I will not gamble today.
Hi Dave its really good to read your on day5. Im just on day 1 again after a very extended lapse on all fronts. Im just getting back into reading everyones diarys. It does help! Keep it up 1 day at a time. All the best Blocked.
Now at day 6 and its been a week of learning. The encouragement from members on the site has been wonderful and makes a real difference - thankyou.
I have started to read an excellent book by Paul McKenna called change your life in 7 days. It's excellent.
I cannot gamble as I cannot stop - I will not gamble today.
God bless all.
Hi Dave UK.
FOBT's have been my problem.
Just before last Christmas I went through my last three years bank statements and was shocked to see how many cash withdrawals I'd made to play the FOBT's. Since then I've not played them at all in the bookies but have lost £300 on-line on roulette and the slots. I think I'm slowly getting there - especially when the weather's as nice as it is right now.
I found your earlier diaries pretty inspirational, and, as you haven't been on here for a while I thought you'd cracked it. Much as it's nice to read your words of wisdom again I wish you didn't have to say them ( if you know what I mean )
We've all been there, read the book, got the T-shirt, etc, etc, but if you don't mind me asking what was it that caused a relapse ?
Hi Blackjack and thanks for your kind words.
Good question regarding how I drifted back - I stopped for ages and one day thought 'I reckon I can now play the roulette machine, win a little and walk away' and to be fair it worked for a while - well kind of!! I would start with 40p on a few numbers and keep adding to it until a win came in.
To start with I would win a tenner or so and take the win, but after a few days I won, walked away but then started going back to try and repeat it 3 or 4 times a day (I think that's what we call GREED!).
Although I got to being several hundred pounds up there were a high number of occassions I would be 300-400 down and get lucky whilst chasing.
What was clear is that I could not ever walk away while I was down - even if it was just a couple of pounds down. I would often use my debit card to credit the machine. I also realised I did not enjoy playing them really and just knew that if it was not that day that eventually that big loss would come and with it that dreadful low feeling (which you will all know is awful).
As the winnings accumulated I lost all sense of common sense and thought I would start higher to try and generate higher wins (GREED AGAIN). Slowly but surely my winnings dwindled and £1600 turned into £1400, then down to £700 which included the irresponsible loss last weekend.
I suppose in my mind I still have the £700 which to be fair can be offset against previous losses (not that previous losses are amy longer my concern).
Provided I keep posting on here and reinforcing my belief that you can never win long term and that 'I cannot gamble as I cannot stop' there is every chance I will stay away from all that is bad!!
Hope this info is useful - what a wally I was lol !!
Just had a little test - I had to go out to the supermarket (for a genuine rather than made up reason thatI used to invent) and would have had an ideal oportunity to pop into ****** to play roulette.
Well - as I was wandering around the supermarket it crossed my mind that I had not even thought about gambling.
I am chuffed but will be even more chuffed when I do not see 'not gambling' as an achievement but a normal way of life !
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