DaveUK - New Diary

Time for an update.

In April 2011 I decided to self-exclude from the high-street bookies and this made a huge difference as I just couldn't access the FOBT's. At the time I also decided to save £20 a week with a view to accumulating £5,000. I stuck to saving religiously and decided to keep going and have ended up with £7,000. I have not abstained from gambling completely since April 2011 as drifted online from time to time and if I was away with work would have a small 'visit' to the bookies as these were not subject to my self-exclusions.

I did not appreciate just how dangerous online is - it’s almost as dangerous as the FOBT’s. As we all know it’s always a case of win a bit, lose it plus some on top! I found if I had loss I would self-exclude from that online provider but eventually find a new one.

Although I can never be absolutely be sure how much I have lost since I started the FOBT's in about 2003 and subsequent online activity I am pretty sure £8,000 covers it (so about £500-600 a year). Although it isn't getting the money back I need to save it all back so am going to continue and should be at £8000 by the end of March 18.

Even though my self-exclusion finished in April 2016 I did not bother to return to the FOBT's until a month ago. It's not been a disaster, infact I have won about £50 from the two local shops. I was kind of testing myself to see if I had control but of course deep down I know this was just an excuse to get back on them and it will only end one way. I keep a note of all my losses these days and overall this year I have lost £730 which is a poor effort. £300 of this was when I was away with work and £200 a reckless casino visit. The rest is bits and pieces but they do add up!

What is clear is I have no control so just cannot gamble. The trouble is I love it, the hitting of the spin button, the waiting for the number to come in, the high when it hits etc etc etc. To cut a long story short I have self-excluded again today from the local shops and one a few miles away. I used the service where you can call and exclude from as many shops as you wish and have to say they were great and it was very easy. I could only do 12 months so will just have to renew it each year.

I have access online still but have set the deposit on the online account to £10 a month so that’s now not a problem either as for me £10 isn’t worth it as will be gone in 3 spins (yes that’s how little I stake unless I am chasing)!!

It's all very bizarre as I have never ever been in any financial difficulty and done really well for myself but really, really hate losing so have to put up the necessary barriers to stop temptation. I used to think the gambling was just about trying to win money but think it's more about the buzz and maybe filling some other deep void that I may discover more details about one day! I also used to try and aim to not want to gamble but that will never happen thus the need for barriers. I know I have everything out of proportion but as a very good friend who I am very fond of (who I met from this site) said to me 'if it's going to beat you up, self exclusion is the best thing'.

I should update my diary more regularly so will try and do this if only to record things are going OK.

So pleased to have received my self-exclusion confirmation email this morning. The effect on me is the same as it was in April 2011 when I excluded for 5 years - its just a huge relief and although I wish I had more willpower, I haven't so this is the next best thing.

What makes it even better is I have learned from the benefits of doing it before and it has not been prompted following a big loss!

I didn't want to stop gambling, I wanted to stop losing & that can't happen because we cannot win.

Just read this and what a fantastic statement. I have never ever lost more than I could afford but hated losing - I wanted to win every time. It's all about losing which is why I had to stop.

Hi Dave - blast from the past here. It's been eleven years since you and I last chatted about Liverpool fc. Haha. Oh how times have changed since the Roy Hodgson days. 

I really hope you're doing well, Dave. Something made me pop back on here and see if I could track you down. Hopefully you get an email or something - notifying you that I've messaged. 

If not, well, I hope you're safe, happy and well out there on this bluey-green rock. Hope we can catch up mate.

All the best,

Matt

P.S. My gambling ended six years after I joined here, on June 22nd 2016. It just so happened to 'coincidence' with the day I was sent to prison for twenty two months (an accumulation of a fraudulent ponzi scheme designed to create cash to aid the mounting debt of FOBT gambling). I might create a new diary documenting what happened. Not sure yet. Hope to hear from you mate.

Cheers.

Matt

Matt

Thank you so much for getting in touch. My good friend Blackjack text me today to tell me you were asking after me. How kind. 

I have text every few months in the hope of a reply as was really wanting to see how you were as I think your phone was taken from you. 

It all seems so long ago and am sure we have much to catch up on. My FOBT days are gone helped by a number of things. The appeal of the wheel is still there but I have no access online now and in a much different place. Since we last spoke I have had life saving open heart surgery and as you would hope lots has happened  

Yes Liverpool finally clinched a title. Been a strange season this year but having won it last I’m really happy. 

If you fancy it please pop you number in a private chat. 

Am so pleased you have got in touch and that you are doing well. 

Best wishes and thank you again to my mate Blacky forgiving me the heads up.

Dave