Day 1 after a huge relapse

I hope u feel better soon mate 

Hi Peter

Sorry to hear of your relapse. No money, no way of paying everyday bills & a feeling of utter dispair. I know mate I must have felt those feelings for a thousand nights & more during the almost 5 decades I wasted on gambling. It's hard to accept that whatever you've lost isn't coming back but it's true.

Think of the casinos & gambling den bosses & ask yourself if they are concerned about you or your pradicament, I doubt it & they are probably working on improving their market strategies to attract & create the next generation of habitual loosers as we speak. No matter how bad your financial situation is you'll never gamble your way out of it, By attempting to do so you're simply dancing to their tune.

I'm sure you've been advised about handing finances over to someone close to you & living on basic expenses. It isn't humiliating it's liberating for a CG. A wise man told me when i first came here it's impossible to have too many blocks in place. I'm sure you're not in a good place right now but should temptation come calling again maybe rememberting this day will help you resist. Everyone's rock bottom is different but if this is yours that can only be a good thing.

Sincere Best Wishes

AL

What he said ^^^! Just see it as another step on the road to recovery, I think slipping up is pretty common. What matters is what you do after, how you get back up. When you next feel the urge come on here, talk to gamcare on chat, post, read other people's stuff. It does help.

You got this 💪 

@qjadze2rxg thanx I hope so because today has been a pure torture. No hope just pain .

@slowlearner thanx

@aoxbg6d3ji  I remember when the urge came I forgot about all the pain and why I can’t gamble , I went and lost every dollar I had again for the milion times , today was brutal I felt exhausted , depressed , no hope , no future , hoping tomorow will be a little bit better day

The fact that you started this thread says a lot about you, Peter. Coming back after a failure and speaking openly about what happened shows how determined you are to recover. Unfortunately, a lot of newbies don’t get the benefit of picking themselves up and continuing after relapsing. They feel down or ashamed to return to the forum and fall back into old behaviors. It’s sad to read that relapsing caused financial damage for you - that’s tough. But the best thing you can do now is learn from it so this experience makes you more resilient.

What really happened? Why did it happen? What triggered you? What was wrong with your blocks? How were you feeling at different stages of the process? Answering these questions for yourself is crucial.

Take care.

@h2gk3a76m1  I received a new credit card in the mail I got triggered and went ro the casino and lost everything again , now I’m broke , no hope , no money to do anything , can’t pay bills , all because of gambling , if I survive this relapse I swear I’m never going back to gambling . 
today is day 2 

Day 3 , yesterday was the worst day of my life , the guilt the shame the emotional pain was unbearable . it was torture . 

@b35wu7ym1z I well know that awful feeling that you had yesterday...  Guilt, shame, hate and anxiety.  It is horrible.  No gambling win can ever compensate for it.

But here you are!  The day after, maybe a little better?

I have done the same as you with the credit card.  It is destroying.  Can I ask....   Are you in the UK?  If so, I can give you some advice I wish I had taken years ago

Let me know 😁 

@thebean  no I’m in Calgary Canada but originally from Czech Republic . on top of all tbd stress today I found out that the repair to my car will cost $1000 , if I didn’t gamble it would have been fine but I’m broke now because of gambling , if I ever relapse again I don’t wanna exist it’s not worth it barely existing I’m not enjoying life at all I’m in constant stress from gambling .

Hi

I did not think that I would ever been free from my gamblling addiction.

I use to think it was the most exciting thing in my life and that I loved it.

In time I would understand I did not love gambling it was in a way was an adrenaline rush I was experiencing because of the high evels of fear I was putting my self under and huge amounts of stress.

How would I feel if my boss asked me to work a whole month with out any pay.

I use to get my monthly pay and give it away to complete strangers while I and my family went with out.

Get to understand what your emotional triggers are stop being triggered back to gambling.

Much more time in meetings helped me.

In time I picked up the healthy habit of helping my self live a much more healthy productive life.

Dave L

That’s what is so devastating working paycheck after paycheck after paycheck for free for absolutely nothing because every dollar goes to gambling , while normal people work hard and than they treat themselves to something nice , maybe a weekend getaway or a vacation overseas all my money goes to gambling I have hardly enough for food and gas . 
day 4 

Day 5 

Almost 21 years in gambling jail . Never again , I’ve watching the Menendez brothers series on Netflix so they been in jail now for 30 years and I have been in self inflicted jail for 20 years thanx to gambling . I completely wasted almost 21 years . Day 5 today