Day 2 - So I finally installed Gamban on my phone. I was so worried that it was only going to block the uk sites, like Gamstop. But to my relief, I checked a few of my offshore regulars and they were all blocked!
if only I had listened months ago, over a year ago, my goodness I could be in such a different position now.
But, it is what it is and I am where I am.
As soon as I had it installed and checked some sites, I felt an insane amount of relief. This level of protection is going to make such a difference to my self destructive side.
I feel a bit of hope.
Hope you’re all having a good weekend and keeping well.
That’s the key. Big effort to lock everything down. If you do find a back door in future, take a deep breath. Speak to someone, on here, family, friend, and then block that entry to gambling down. There is always a way, and gamblers are resourceful but if you have an open and honest conversation with someone you can trust and rely on, they can really help you when things take hold. Try change your routine too. If you can gamble when alone, spend more time with people. You can do this.
Stay strong 💪
Day 6 - so that’s 6 full days down! I’m delighted. And if I’m honest, I don’t think I could have done it without having Gamban installed.
the temptation has been strong in theory, it’s so easy to think I’m going to win x amount of money if I just deposit, but I’ve been in this game a long time to know it never happens that way. And if it does, I’ll lose it anyway.
ive had such a lovely week, not having to focus on my loss or my win that is stretched out on daily withdrawals of small amounts or worrying about a verification with a new site. That’s all gone this week.
and it’s been so incredibly freeing. I’m not ready to even begin to think about what I’ve lost, but for now, delighted to hit 6 days. Nearly a week. We can do it 💪
So I’ve hit day 9 😊
I haven’t gone this long without gambling in easily 3 years.
I’ve had a big project at work something that comes up this time every year, and I’ve been able to fully focus on it to a level I’ve not been able to for 3 years. Which is crazy. I thought I was functioning so well, but now my mind isn’t preoccupied with gambling, I can see what I’ve been neglecting.
I can see the holes in the work, the skipped steps, the lack of effort that I’ve put in when I know I’m capable of so much more.
Im so grateful to myself to not be clouding myself with gambling and chasing money right now. This project is meaningful, and has a positive impact on the community, and I’m so happy to be present for it.
im still struggling with flashes of guilt and panic at the money lost. I’m managing, and blocking, which I know isn’t healthy.
But for now, I’m just focussing on this project. And anything that stops me gambling. Gamban had been a LIFESAVER.
hope you’re all well and having a gamble free night ❤️
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