I placed my last bet 5 minutes ago. I have excluded from another site that 1 spent 3 hours playing and lost 320 pounds. I didnt gamble all week and was feeling great then back comes the feeling/urge and suddenly there i am scouring the internet for a site i have not been excluded from. I have been in this position before but always managed to justify it to myself with "well i havent gambled all month" or "i dont do anything else for myself". This time ive hit rock bottom. I used my partners name and their debit card. I have responsibilty for all finances coming into house and normally at least manage to keep bills paid- but this time has really done it. I will make some excuse or borrow the money to put back in the account but nothing will make me feel better about what I have just done. Well nothing apart from turning this machine of misery around and getting better. I know I have the gambling disease and I always will but its time to take control for good. Today is the first day of my new life without gambling. I hope I make it through ok. so many things I do that I need to cut- slots in bookies, slots online, bingo, horses, scratchcards, lotto etc.. I have made this my life and dont know really where to begin but my mind is in the right place now. Whatever I have to do I will do it. The only betting I will do from now on will be on myself getting out of this mess and loving myself again. I will keep posting each night - one day at a time!
hardtimes
Welcome to the forum a place where you will recieve a great deal of support, advice and help from like minded folk who all share a coomon goal, to arrest the destructive gambling that causes such misery in there lives.
There is no cure for the addiction, but I believe this forum delivers a medicine in the form of gifting us a better knowledge and with that a united resolve to learn to live without our lives revolving around formulating and actively gambling.
My advice take all the help you can, alongside self-exclusion have you considered blocking software for your computer, which
I believe is available for free.
Gambling takes from us far more than the stake money, that is just the fuel to feed our compulsion, the emotional damage, the lying and self loathing are things that are equally damaging and through abstinence they are addressed too.
Whilst gambling our mantra is
I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP
through arresting the punt we actually turn that around we become winners, ironic I know.
Most of all be kind to yourself.
Today you decided to do something amazing
For that enjoy being a winner.
Duncs stepping forward never back.
Morning hardtimes
Sometimes we av to hit rock bottom b4 we realise the change is needed, I'm not really sure if I ever hit mine but I knew that I was goin down a slippery slope and there was a real possible outcome I wouldn't get back up it, be inspired by so many people who av turned their lives around
Please stick around and get that inspiration get that vital support, wake this morning and post how u feel we all know that feeling so we all can help, the amount of diaries that start and are left after one post is saddening, gambling has a way of tricking us into thinking it will be better this time we then recalculate out finances and go looking for that big win that never comes
I did read one guy hit that so call big win 50 grand was it enough. ? No he blew the lot within 3 hours iv read people who av lost the lot everything and not just money loved ones all who had enough of the lies that gambling makes us do
The only way to win is to not place that next bet and win the freedom of life, its a real hard journey but one worth making there are ups and downs but the support here gets u through it
Don't become one of the many other diaries left uncompleted, I wish u wel
Castle2
Welcome hardtimes.
As a compulsive gambler we do what we can to get that fix. If that means using other peoples bank cards ie your wife's we legitimise it.
We are desperate.
Do yourself a favour tell your partner. Self exclude from the books and install a bet filter.
This evil can hit you anytime. At least blocks may make u think you about it.
I went down your route. I ended up thousands in debt to pay day loans. The second evil that feeds our needs. Don't go there it's a dark place
Lastly keep posting here.
You will get loads of support and advice.
All the best.
A.n.d
thank you all for replying to me- i woke up this morning still feeling bad for the loss of money but feeling more positive about gaining a new outlook in life. Its early days but I already feel a little sense of freedom creeping in because I know I dont need to find that extra few pound to gamble today. I dont think i have enough courage yet to tell my partner as he would never understand but I will fill my dad in on what happened yesterday. I know its easy when you come off a big loss to swear to never doing it again but this really is the first time I have ever really meant it. I went through the motions this morning and excluded myself from everything I could and also banned gambling sites from my computer so I will find it harder when temptation calls- which I know it will. I will keep posting every day. My goal is to get through 1 month gamble free and then reassess my goals. This forum has been a godsend to me as I can be honest for the first time. thanks guys!
Hi Hardtimes. Thank u for your post on my diary. I'm glad you have found this site and hope u can stay strong and beat this horrible thing we are all suffering with. I have on and off days some days I hate gambling some days its all I want to do but being on here reminding myself of how much it wrecks lives makes it a little easier. Best of luck 🙂 x
so i have made it 2 full days now and am feeling super positive. I am looking forward to the new year and the changes to my life that stopping gambling will bring. I feel as if I was in a gambling coma and now I can see the future and it looks a lot brighter than it did this time last week! onwards and upwards!
Right then mate - i have found it and read through. You can beat this. Read through other peoples stories and learn from the wrong choices people have sometimes chosen. Stick with one Diary and just add to it then its easier for people to see your progress - not only that its easier for you to look back at your own progress. Go for it mate, beat it, *** it and start living your life
as im new to this whole site- i hope i have started my diary correctly and adding to it rather than setting up a new one each time- sorry im just not sure! anyway day 4 and I feel completely liberated! I came clean to my partner about the fact that I have stopped gambling as I have a problem with it. I didnt go into much more detail than that but I will in time. I did however tell my dad everything and have raved about how much this forum and the people on it have helped me through this tough time. I found it the hardest just to admit to myself that I cannot gamble anymore- anytime I ever tried before I always second guessed myself like someone whispering in my ear " well a scratchcard isnt really gambling" or "that poker game doesnt count" Anyway I am so completely in control that even the urges that have come on this week I have been able to think about something else and they have passed! I now know that I have the strength of mind to not give in and never give up. I am even enrolling in a course through college where this time next year I will have a qualification in counselling. I hope to be able to help others even if it is only in my family (I have 4 siblings all of whom have varying levels of gambling problems). Thanks everyone for your support!
thanks Julie- I really appreciate you taking time to respond to me. I will one day be completely honest but right now I am to busy being totally honest with myself. I knew today (sat) would be the hardest day of the week for me because I normally do the lotto or put a bet on the horses or go to bingo and play the slots. I knew today was a real test and I faced it all head on. I chose not to do any of it. If Im to do this long term I need to go T total. I will not bet again. I will not allow the gambling industry get one up on me ever again.
well its 6 full days now and no gambling- i have never attempted stopping before as it was so ingrained in my day to day life. I dont think i ever thought i had it in me to stop. How wrong I was. When i make it to a week tomorrow I will be super proud of myself which is a feeling i am not familiar with. I now see that each day i dont gamble i am a winner because of how i feel. I will keep posting as I no doubt will get urges but that is all they are. I can ignore them.
Get in there Hardtimes - spank that gambling a** you can beat this. Stay positive
Well I did it- 1 full week. This might seem like no time at all to others but to me it really is a major leap forward. Thanks to all who have posted on my diary and thanks to those who have posted diaries and without knowing it have helped me tremendously. I will keep sharing and helping others when they need it as I have learned that all of us here are good, decent people who have made the wrong choices in the past but are trying their best to turn things around. I will stay on this site through the good and bad times and help where I can. Looking ahead to gamble free 2 weeks.
thanks Julie- I am still feeling great. Day 8 for me and I was asked today to play in a card game tonight. normally it would have been something I would never have missed but I didnt even blink an eyelid. No way on this earth would I have played. I really can see how quickly you can be sucked back in and I cannot let that happen to me! my family have noticed a difference in me, im happier, more relaxed and I think that is down to just not feeling like I have to gamble! its liberating! still strong and fighting!
Morning hardtimes
Well done on the 8 days sometimes the first week is the hardest, your doing exactly the right thing posting supporting others and making full use of this site
A fantastic start to a very rewarding journey stay close when a bad day comes along
Castle2
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