DAY 1 - minute 1

thanks casle- yes i will. I have a party this weekend so this will be biggest test when there is alcohol involved! I will be going away for 2 weeks on sunday so if I dont post during that time it is because there is a terrible signal where im staying!

still staying strong and feeling good. tomorrow i will be in double digits- 10 days! feeling the benefits! I hope anyone reading my diary will see that even only after a few days of stopping it makes you feel better!

well I went out last night and had a lot to drink. There was a card game that I was invited to play and I was worried that with drink I wouldnt be able to stop myself from taking part but anyway, I got drunk had a great time and didnt gamble. It really was the biggest test for me as I am a fool with a few drinks in me but I didnt even think about it! long may it continue! day 11!

so my ferry was cancelled this morning and the weather was so bad that I cancelled my 2 weeks away. all the family are heartbroken but we have rearranged it for april so not so bad. Better be safe than sorry as far as Im concerned. I will not take to a long journey on them roads with 2 little kiddies in the back!

Anyway, im almost 2 weeks clean and although I am very positive- it has not all been plain sailing - excuse the pun-. I have been tempted many times and I found the hardest thing was to break the habit as I was an every day gambler. Some days a tenner other days 600 but always a gamble on something every day.

Now my mind is in a better place- I will never be free of being a CG but I can control it by not starting. That is the key as far as I am concerned. Once I start spinning those reels or placing those chips I cannot stop but I have plenty of will power not to get invloved in the first place which is how I am dealing with this.

Feeling good- clean for 14 xx

i have said it before but will say it again- thank you all that has supported me xx

Hi All

I just wanted to say merry xmas to everyone! stay strong and stay clean! XXX

so its been a few days but im still strong and still gamble free- had afew temptations at xmas but didnt succumb. Looking forward to this new year more than any other because whatever happens good or bad will have nothingto do with my gambling! Linda x

Brilliant L - well done mrs and delighted to hear you're still in track. I've updated the challenge 2014 thread in the overcoming section - don't forget to check in.

You're doing superb - keep going!

Mr Brightside

Thanks guys for your continuing support- I hope I can be as much help to others as you lot have been to me! clean for 14! Linda x

Hi Linda

I hope all is well and you have now made it 17 🙂 just wanted to say thank you for your comments on my new members section.

Hoping you have a lovely new year

Best Regards

Amanda

Morning L

Just popping in to your thread to say hi, congratulations on days, thanks for the support and I think you're doing great!!!

There's that small group of us that for some reason all decided that this was our time - and it is our time! Looking forward to supporting each other through the good and the bad, but always gamble free!

Here's to OUR 2014!!

Mr Brightside

so its been 3 weeks since my last gamble and i am really feeling the benefits. Last night was tough and reading other posts it seems it was the day for urges but they soon passed.

Am really grateful for all your support and roll on 2014. Happy new year and it will be because it will be a gamble free one! xLinda

hi diary- so it new years eve and im sitting here with my 2 kids running around after a lot of sugar and Im thinking back at what a year this has been for me- ill give you all a brief insight into my life this year:

december- whole family had bad flu- i went to bingo a lot-

Jan- I broke my leg - i had a 3 month old baby and a 5 year old to deal with at the time I was in a full cast for 8 weeks- i gambled online instead of going to bingo.

feb- my uncle who sexually abused me as a child contacted me for first time to look for forgivness- this was unexpected and I gambled any time i could to take my mind off it

april- got cast taken off but carried on playing online AND went to bingo on slots

may- Found out I was pregnant again and was stressing because I had our wedding booked for september and would have been 5 months on the day

June- decided to cancel wedding to put pregnancy as priority - lost quite a lot of money with deposits but felt it was the right thing to do-

August- Went for scan and found out baby died- spent a week in hospital due to complications. - Gambled a lot more after this episode as I enjoyed the "gambling coma".

Septmeber- had to tell everyone that I had previously told not to come to the wedding for the baby that i had lost the baby- by far the hardest part of the year. Gambled even more during this time.

November- i was diagnosed with psioratic arthritis when i was 19 and it is progressive- stress and being unhealthy makes it worse and I was in a lot of pain- gambled more from home and stopped going out.

December- daughter got diagnosed with broncholitis - gambled partners money as well as my own then we cancelled our 2 week xmas trip due to ferry cancellations. -

dec 11th- stopped gambling.

Although everything that has happened this year has been hard to take- in the last 3 weeks I have never felt better- the self loathing that comes with heavy gambling makes already bad things even harder to deal with.

Jan 2014- happy- gamble free.x L

Hey Linda

Just wanted to say how inspired I was after reading your diary. What a year you have endured- no wonder your gambling got out of control sounds like it was an escape and coping mechanism like it has been for so many of us. I'm not doing too well at the moment and haven't posted for a couple of weeks but just wanted to say WELL DONE on your gamble free days and 'all the best' for 2014.

take care, stay strong

Stux

hi stu

thanks for commenting. i found it quite tough writing my last post but felt like i had to. and today i feel better. I wish everyone out there a happy and gamble free new year! xx L