DAY 1 - minute 1

dear diary

I really want a bottle of wine but because of my strict diet I cannot have one! Anyway one things for sure I dont want a gamble! I seem to have come through a rough week and when I got my urges on friday I would have boiled my own head before gambling so at least im in a better place now!

Linda

Dear diary

Waking up on the morning of day 55. Feeling very good and very proud of myself for getting through last week. I was very humbled to be given a special mention on our 2014 challenge run by Mr B however I do feel there were a lot more of our group (including mr b himself) that deserved it way more than me- but I am still very grateful!

So 3rd week weigh in this morning and lost 10 pounds altogether. I have another 18 pounds to go before my target date of 10th april in which I will be 10 stone. Im 5 ft 7 so that will be enough weight loss! I hope to look back through this diary on 10th april having reached my goal weight and also be 4 months free from gambling!

I am getting married in september so have an enormous amount to do to keep me busy this year so I hope that will help me through the rough times!

XLinda

hi hardtimes,

thanks for taking the time to post on my diary. Congratulations on you reaching 55 days as well. We are both doing so well, we will beat this.

Yeah dieting sucks , I've already ate too much this morning so I will start again tomorrow lol. Once I get into I will be fine. What are you doing to help you?

Take care x

Hi Babybluesky

I do 20 mins on cross trainer and some stretches and sit ups etc for another 20 mins 4 times a week. I do it at home because I have little one and am not a huge fan of gym anyway! The exercise really makes me feel good (once Ive finished lol) and it takes my mind of the gambling! Also, diet I find hard because I have to cook 4 different dinners each evening! my 6 year old is super fussy and my 1 year old only eats macaroni cheese! Then my OH has a huge dinner and of course for the last 3 weeks ive been having chicken salad or something equally boring! I have a diary that I write down what i eat and how many calories I take in each day. It sounds dreadful but its the only way I can keep track! I also have a cheat day once a week which means I can look forward to something nice. Ive lost 10 pounds already and have 18 to go so am determined to get to my goal by april 10th! I find the diet really keeps my focus at the moment which is helping with not gambling. I come on to this site about 5 times a day and that is when I deal with the gambling demons but once I switch off then I try not to think about it until the next time I log on.

It works for me anyway! Once april 10th comes I will then tackle the cigarettes. Ive smoked for as long as I have gambled (about 15 years so that will be tough too! But I believe I can do anything I put my mind to now so should be easier with that knowledge!

Anyway we can do this and I hope we are both celebrating each milestone together at the same time!

Linda x

Hi Linda,

Phew, I'm back and still clean. Have just had a lovely weekend away in Copenhagen, but it was bloody freezing!

Good to read about your 10lbs aswell! I guess it's the best loss you can have. LOL.

Had my first counselling today and quite an eye opener. Very interesting, though and loads to think about. We CAN beat this, and we MUST beat it.

Louise

day 56- bored, tired, hungry, fed up... Need a break badly. Gonna arrange a spa night in the next month. I need and deserve it! Even if I do say so myself lol!

Linda

Hi linda,

hope the diet is going well. I think its 8 weeks today or tomorrow since we've stopped, that's great.

Go on treat yourself, you deserve it. x

thanks babybluesky- yes i think I will!

Has it been 8 weeks? wow how great is that?

Lindaxx

and relax! tough day but only coz i was feeling terrible since last night- weak, headaches and the shakes! It felt like a hangover but I had not drank anything! Anyway turns out my body needed food! I have maybe gone ott with cutting out everything so I had a small plate of chinese food and 1 hour later I feel normal again! The last 2 days I just ate salad and I am still exercising and running around after 2 lively kids so should have had some energy food! Anyway lesson learnt- tomorrow i will eat better!

Its like I have this "all or nothing" personality with everything I do in life- If Im committed to something I give it 200 percent but that goes for something im stopping and something Im addicted to. How do I change that part of me? Not sure but at the moment I am 57 days gamble free and relishing every minute!

Linda x

hey lou

Thanks for posting on my diary! Im glad you enjoyed copenhagen! I would love to go there! In fact id be happy to go anywhere right now for a break! lol xx

Linda

dear diary

I am a major urge to gamble last night- it is freaky how it creeps up on you sometimes and you really do try and convince yourself that just 1 tenner will be alright!

Well i quickly came here and read through this diary and the urge soon vanished!

Now checking in on day 60!

Linda

Hi Linda thank you for your thoughtfulness and sound advice started my diary today rather daunting seeing it in black and white. Your are an inspiration. Hitthefanx

congratulations on not giving in to those urges Linda, you did the right thing by coming on here, that's what I did when I had a strong urge and the advice I got helped me get through it, your doing great x

Hey Linda

Not seen you around for a few days - hoping everything is ok? It's not like you.

Drop a wee note girl eh?

Mr B

hey guys

sorry for not updating this week but had a family tragedy and still not right since.

will keep this short as already posted on our 2014 thread so am exhausted.

Still gamble free at I think it is 65 days.

will post a better diary entry once I am in a better state of mind.

Thanks to all of you who posted since sat x

Linda x