Hi, I am a problem gambler I have been for 6 years. I go through 1 or 2 months without gambling and then it comes calling again like bad smell. I play online casino have lost atleast £10,000 in the space of 6 years. I tend to always lose the winnings I gain as I can't control what I do onced I'm in that frame of mind, the rational part of me says take my money and go as I know very fine well know that the casinos always win, but I just can't stop. It almost as though I become this other person in which I can't control.Â
I am a shadow of the person I used to be I suffer from depression anxiety and have become very anti social. I often find it uncomfortable being around others. I have no self-esteem and although I am youngish (33) my gambling makes me feel like an immature child who needs to grow up. I have a child of my own, I am that pathetic that over the last two months I have spent £1800 on gambling which could have been spent on my daughter. I am in debt and have two loans due to gambling. I can't remember a time when I didn't have debt due to gambling. I am currently sat with £35 in my bank account and £20 in cash to do me until the end of the month.Â
I don't want to live this way any more I want to change for the better. I need to change, this is my opportunity to do that. I have signed up to gamstop, self referred to CBT therapy and I am ready to change I am writing this as one day I want to look back and remember the totally misery I am feeling today and hopefully I will be in a much better place by then.Â
Thank you.Â
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Hi Movingon, it's a very familiar story to most of us you tell, the main thing is you want to stop so well done for taking the first step. I would advise putting as many blockers in place as possible, you have already registed with gamstop but put a blocker on your devices, I use Betblocker, to stop being able to access gambling sites and sign up for the maximum 5 years. Contact your Bank to see if they can put a block on gambling transactions on your debit card, some do some don't, or change to a bank that will.Â
Maybe speak to someone at Gamcare they are really helpful and can advise on the best way forward for you. Just do whatever is possible to stop you when temptation arises.
Good luck and think of the future without this evil.
@movingon Hello and welcome. Have you considered Gambler's Anonymous meetings to help you?
Chris.
Hi Chris, thank you for replying. I have attended meetings before. I found them helpful, however i work full time and have a child and having time was not in my favour. I have a very small support network and with covid I am unable to put my child out to relatives.Â
Thank you I know you hear so many stories of people going through the same thing. Thanks for your advice I will use all the resources possible. The real challenge will come when the urge to gamble returns again but I feel like this time I am really wanting to stop. Thanks again.Â
@movingon I hope you find time to get to a meeting then. Maybe the child's father or mother could help?
I was interested in why you referred yourself for CBT. Is this something, like the GA, that you've tried before?
Chris.
I will try my best to get to one. I haven't tried CBT it before. There's a course available on here so I am hoping it will help in time.Â
@movingon Okay, good luck. I hope you update your diary regularly to show your progress, good days and bad days.
Chris.
Thank you Chris
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