Day one 14/12/2013

Hey Big Philla!!

Just a quick hi mate - you were a sight for sore eyes today!!! Sounds as if things are going well - one day at a time on all fronts. Try not to live every day in fear of what she might do with her ex - that's her responsibility. You are fulfilling yours mate - superbly well I may add!

I've put out the texts and calls for the Blackpool game - I'd imagine that I'll hear early next week after the game on Sunday - maybe even after the Preston game on Tuesday. My contact will be pretty busy organizing things for those. Will that be too late for you?

Keep strong brother,

Mr Brightside

I'm off that Saturday and not got anything on Mr B so anytime you organise it will be fine. Just let me know what you get sorted. Cheers for the advice about my ex, meant to be going to the rugby with her tomorrow!

I didn't post yesterday as I had a mad busy day with work and then an early finish to go to the rugby. I didn't gamble yesterday and I wont be gambling today. Its day 46 and I still feel strong. I have a quiet morning and then have work at 2.

I have spent way too much money this last week. I need to have a quiet week and just work and stay in. This dating lark is expensive, its costing me a fortune taking my ex out. No spending for me till next weekend!

Oh well that's all I can think of to say this morning. Got a hang over and need to recover! No bets for me today!

Morning big Philla!!

You sound chipper in your posts!! I guess every now and again it's important that we have a cash splurge to let ourselves see that we can deserve to be rewarded!! As long as it's not gambling then we're good.

If we do meet up next weekend then the biggest expense for you will be fuel - I'd hope that we'd get our tickets for free. My contact hasn't been in touch since Friday and he'll be really busy with the Yeovil game today, so I'll phone or text him tonight (depending on today's result - anything but a win today will leave him well P'd off!!). I should know by Wednesday if we're good to go.

It's so good to see things are going well with the ex. I'm waiting patiently to see when you'll start to refer to her as the girlfriend!!

Catch up soon mate!! We'll need to think about how we exchange contact details and stuff.

Mr Brightside

Hey mate

Just a quick one to say that we're on for Saturday! Got a text from my contact yesterday. Don't know if it's a suited and booted or just tickets for the away end, but either way we'll get sorted.

Will be in touch later on in the week with regards to dress code and stuff but we need to think about exchanging contact details and things. I'm coming down with my dad, so there'll be no awkwardness as to how we know each other and stuff.

Really looking forward to meeting you mate!

Mr Brightside

Its day 48 and the past few days just seem a blur. But I have not been tempted to gamble! My ex is really messing with my head and I don't know if I'm coming or going. Shes had 5 weeks now and I have done so much for her but she still doesn't seem that interested and on Friday at the rugby with me she really ruined the night with her attitude. I used to blame myself when she had a horrible attitude, but I have been amazing to her recently so I think that's just how she is.

We fell out and I told her for the final time to please leave me alone to get my head together. She shows very little physical signs of wanting me and its driving me mad and hurting me. Anyway I go from ignoring her to finding out she has been rushed into hospital this morning. I was so worried and fortunately it was nothing serious.

She called me and asked if I could pick her up and take her home, get her car from work and take a girl from work some flowers. So I did all this for her and then she said her mum and uncle were coming and could I go get them a takeaway. Did this and then when I arrived to drop it off they were there and she didn't invite me in. I had spent 3 hours running around for her and she just took the takeaway off me and wanted me out the way. Made me feel like I had been used and I was really upset.

On the brightside this is the sort of thing that would in the past send me to a bookies, but it didn't! I stayed strong and have still not had a bet. I have again blocked her and asked her to leave me alone but she continues to pester me even coming to my parents house, fortunately I was out and I have told them not to get involved.

Day 50 is approaching and that's the real positive of all this. I could have never held myself together though all this stress so clearly something in me has changed because theres no way I am gambling to deal with this.

That's great news for Saturday Mr B. I'm not sure on the rules here, is it ok for me to leave you my email? I will be coming by train so I can have a few drinks.

Hey Philla - will be good to catch up on Saturday and you can bring me up to speed with all the comings and goings with the ex - of course that's if you're up for it.

Not sure about the exchanging of details on the site, so what I'll do is set up a temp hotmail address that I'll post on here and once we've exchanged proper contact details I'll just delete it.

Will do that tonight and post the address.

Take care mate - 2 more sleeps until you're 50!! You're dealing with a heck of a lot - but doing amazingly.

Mr Brightside

Hiya Bornagain,

Your story is very similar to mine. Im 27, going through the same trouble with my Gf/Ex because of my gambling. We were together over 5 years and broke up a year ago.

Its really really difficult, that I understand.

It took me almost a year after we broke up to realise I had to stop gambling all together.

Like you I have no real friends and since the 7th of Dec I have been gamble free! This has been helped by attending GA meetings almost every week and its a good way to meet people. Alot of the people there are of a similar age and they understand you. Maybe this is something that could help you. I look forward to my meetings now, you can find my post how it has helped me in the overcoming section.

I too have handed over my finances and over 8 weeks now I am feeling really good. Financially im getting there. I had 10 payday loans... Although Im still skint I have no loans and look forward to the next few months.

Hope this helps,

Nice to read your story. Stay strong!

Scambling

Hey Big Philla!!

I've had a 'mare tonight trying to set up an account to exchange details - neither yahoo or outlook playing ball. Will try again tomorrow.

Chin up, guard up mate.

Scambling - get yourself over to the Overcoming Problem Gambling section of the site and get signed onto the 2014 Challenge Thread - your post to Phil is really understanding and supportive - exactly what we need over there mate.

Mr Brightside

Thanks for the message scambling I do go to GA meetings when I can but my shift in work makes it difficult. Mr B I have an email I don't use much and don't mind putting on here.

Well its day 49 and its again just been a blur with my ex. I told her a long time ago to delete her ex off facebook and she wouldn't. Well I asked her why hes still there and she says 'Coz u don't trust me, it's a way I can prove to you nothing is going on there's been no contact I only want you ' To me that's absolute nonsense and I just need her to leave me alone. She knows I struggle to say no to her and she wont leave me alone. But I cant see any rational reason she would keep her ex on facebook.

Oh well I have work at 2 and need to pull myself together. I won't be gambling today and tomorrow is a big milestone.

Today I will not gamble!

Hey big guy,

Really quick one - knackered tonight! Happy 50 day eve!! So so made up for you for tomorrow - big cause to celebrate!!

So I've emailed you with my email address, when you come back to me we'll exchange mobiles etc.

Hope work is ok mate,

Mr Brightside

Milestone day for me reaching 50 days without a bet today. I feel good but I need to stay strong, its good to see the days adding up but I am only ever one day away from a bet. Whats good is that for the 50 days I have had money and could have gambled it but I have not wanted to. I want this new gamble free life, its better than my old life.

Got to rush anyway as I have things to do before work. I will not be gambling today!

Big day big Philla!!!

Many many congratulations on reaching such a huge milestone!! 50 days is awesome - that's you half way to an even bigger one now!!

I got your email and will take some time tomorrow evening to respond - it's great that we're in touch and looking forward to Saturday!! As I write the mighty Reds are one up!! Yessssss!!!

Take care and hope work goes ok tonight - chat more about that on sat no doubt!!

For the time being, congratulations again - mister pat on the back!!

Mr B!!

Grats on day 50 bud!

Treat yourself and give yourself a pat on the back,

But remember... Dont get complacent.

🙂

Scambling

Thanks Mr B and Scambling.

Day 51 and I am struggling to move to get ready for work. Todays my last day in and then I have three days off, it seems ages since I had a weekend off!

Only a quick message as I am running late. But today I won't be having a bet!