Hey mate,
6 days away from the next big milestone and no doubt you're going to get that and many more!!
I really enjoy coming into your diary Big P - full of resolve and determination.......you need to bottle it and hand a few of them around the group at times!! Lol!!
Enjoy your days mate, recharge the batteries and catch up soon. Any word from the ex recently?
Mr B
Thanks for the message Mr B. My ex is still chasing me and begging me to take her back. Its just not going to work and I don't trust her so I couldn't take her back. I hope she gets over this and finds happiness.
Its day 65 and I have spent this morning enjoying the curling, I would love to give it a go but sadly there's nowhere to play local to me. Quiet day today, but will enjoy relaxing and watching the football or rugby tonight. I'm out after work the next two days so I need to keep my energy for that.
I have done the whole 65 days without looking at a single racecard which is brilliant. I don't read newspapers as I want to avoid glancing upon a racecard but I have also been careful to avoid it online. This is an important barrier to me as seeing a certain horse or meeting could tempt me back in. Still get annoying people in work bringing it up, but I try to block it out and not listen, or tell them I have stopped gambling for good. All the adverts on tv are annoying, they don't tempt me, but I would still rather not have odds flashing up on screen.
Something I'm not used to is watching sports without checking the odds. I am sport mad and will watch anything. I used to always be checking odds, not because I wanted a bet but more out of interest. Since I stopped gambling I have stopped doing this. Sometimes I do wonder who the favourite is. but I know its a bad idea to check. maybe in time I will stop thinking like this.
Right that's me, off to get some lunch and plan the rest of my day!
Day 66, just getting ready for work, I have an early start today and I'm finishing early and going straight to the rugby tonight. After the good start last week we have Hull tonight and it should be a good game. We need another win to keep our good start and get us to the top of the league.
I used to always go to the bookies before the rugby, infact once I was so stupid that I lost all my money and had to drive home without even going to the match. Tonight I won't be tempted to go near a bookies, I will have a look in the club shop, have a pint and then enjoy the game.
Feeling good, another day under my belt. Today I will not gamble!
Day 67 and the ten week mark isn't far away! Really enjoyed the rugby last night, we won a tough game and are showing signs that we will be the team to beat this season. On the drive home there was a really bad car crash, someone was receiving CPR. I was probably two minutes behind the accident, it really shook me up. Lifes so short and I don't want to waste another second. I cant find anything online about the accident, I hope he pulled through and there were no fatalities.
In work shortly, its amazing to wake up on a Saturday and not have a clue what race meetings are on or think about putting a football coupon on. Every Saturday in work I used to do a coupon on my way in and what a waste of time and money they are. One team always lets you down and I don't need to be psychic to say that again today lads in work will be moaning at 5pm about one team costing them big money. I will be the only winner because my money is safely in my pocket rather than a worthless betting slip.
No bets for me today, no temptation for me today!
Day 68 and I'm so tired, hardly slept last night. Can't wait to get work out of the way and get some sleep.
Just a quick post today as I am feeling pretty low but struggling to put my feelings into words.
No bets for me today!
Hey Big Philla
Sorry I've not been around for a couple of days - that's the update done and I'm just catching up with my "special" people. You don't sound great ma man - the accident on Friday night I'm sensing has had a pretty big impact and rocked your foundations a bit - are you ok?
Not going to say much more on here - drop me a wee text mate.......hoping that you've managed to make some arrangements and can pop in to say hello next month.
Take care Phil - you are doing amazingly well......definitely need to get some sleep and keep the energy up. I'm glad that one of our teams won at the weekend - pah!
Catch up soon buddy.
Mr B
Day 70 and ten weeks without a bet which is a great achievement. This forum has been a big help, especially the 2014 challenge page as I want to complete the challenge. I have let so many people down in the past, the new me doesn't want to let anyone else down so I am going to complete the challenge.
I need to take a long look at myself today. I was making good progress when I stopped gambling and fixing other aspects of my life. However I have let a lot of things go and slipped into an unhealthy routine. This all revolves around my ex, we have had our ups and downs and I know life would be so much easier if I didn't have any contact with her. However she has this hold on me and I can't say no to her. I've tried blocking her and ignoring her but then she sends me letters or is waiting for me outside work crying and begging me to take her back.
This isn't helped by the fact my boss has changed my rota in work and because others in my dept. are so unreliable I have lost out on a few days off. Usually I work four on two off but quite a few of them have been changed so I only have one day off. Just don't feel I am getting anything done at the moment other than working and dealing with my exes problems or cheering her up. I was doing so well, I had lost weight, was getting into running, getting into a routine and now all this has gone. The old me would have definitely completed the full circle and gone back to my gambling ways, so the only positive is that I am in control of my urges and I never want to gamble again.
So I need to think where do I go from here? I need to get back into a routine. Firstly I need to start saying no to my ex. I have hurt her a lot in the past and she is lonely and low and I need to accept I will be there for her. But I need to not let her tears and begging force me into doing things I would rather not do. An example of this is a stupid day out in Manchester that she wants us to go on in July, I had a look and said yeah looks good. She now wants me to pay 40 quid to book tickets, I would rather just wait till closer to the event, I'm sure it wont sell out. But shes gone on and on about it and I know I will end up giving her the cash for it today. Compared to the money I wasted gambling its only a small amount, but I don't want to spend another 40 quid as I have had an expensive month.
I have got to start looking after myself better. I bought new clothes just before Christmas and I'm noticing they are now a tighter fit. I need a healthier diet and to get back into the running. I need to start going to bed at a decent time and getting up earlier. I need to stop drinking in the house and eating junk food because I'm always in a rush or tired. So today I need to work on a routine to stick to and follow the healthy eating plan that did so well before Christmas.
I was really enjoying the running and its meant to be my 10k on March 9th. I can pinpoint where it all went wrong. I was doing well, following my plan and then I injured my knee. I injured my knee the night my ex pestered me to see her after work and kept me there till 2am. I had intended to do my run after work, so when I got home I did my run at 2am. This is the run that caused me the pain, maybe it would have happened anyway, but I don't think doing it at 2am after a long day helped.
I think I need to lower my targets and give March 9th a miss. I need to start my three runs a week plan and find another run to do as I don't think I can catch up in two weeks. Maybe even join a gym, and do some swimming on my days off from running.
As I'm back in work tomorrow and only have this one day off I will use it to reflect and to plan a new routine and one that I need to stick to. I want to look back when I reach week 20 and see I have a better routine and healthier lifestyle.
The start of this diary was positive and I have let myself slip a little, but most importantly I am still here and have not had a bet. My finances are so much better and I have managed to get out and about and do more in ten weeks than I did in the whole of last year. I am going to get the positivity back and pick myself up. 70 days in the bag and looking forward to bringing up the century!
71 days free from my addiction, at the start of this diary I had a couple of slip ups so to get here feels amazing. I felt like giving up on the diary, I felt helpless and unable to beat my addiction. But I am so glad I stuck with it as after 71 days I am so much stronger. I rarely think about gambling anymore and have good barriers in place to stop me slipping up!
Off to work shortly, should be off today but my boss has changed the rota and I'm in now until Sunday. Off Monday and Tuesday next week. I am tempted to see if I can get an early finish on Thursday to get to the rugby, but its on Sky so maybe I will just Skyplus it and watch it when I finish.
Right that's me for today, No bets for me today!
Day 72 and nearly the end of the second month of the year. 2014 and no bets for me is pretty amazing. The last year in which I didn't gamble in a bookies is probably 1995 so long may it continue. I was a happy teenager in 1995, loads of interests and a good social life and then gambling took hold and I lost everything. But now I am getting it back, it takes time but I am heading in the right direction.
I have decided to give the rugby a miss tonight. I will Skyplus it and watch it as soon as I get home from work. Hopefully nobody will text me the score. We need to win to stay top of the league. Thinking about the past I used to go to the rugby with an old school friend. I have lost track of so many people because of my gambling. I really need to try and contact a few old friends, he would be a good one to start with. Been 16-17 years since I have contacted an awful lot of them so not sure how they would respond.
Oh well will be off to work soon. We are recruiting a new member for our very small team. Will be good to have an extra pair of hands because at the moment only one of us can be off at one time which stops us socialising together.
I have tried and failed at quitting gambling before and I am now reaching my longest period of time without a bet. It is very different this time, I have a lot more barriers in place but most importantly I am not thinking about gambling or getting tempted to place a bet. The barriers stop me gambling but most importantly for me I am having no urges at all.
No bets for me today 72 days of freedom!
Day 73 and just a quick message as I'm sat in work and need to get started. Payday today and it feels amazing to have absolutely no urges to gamble. My bank balance looks healthy, sadly most will go on debts, but once my debts are paid I will be in a much better position! I looked at the time before and it was 11 11. Made me laugh because that's the time of the second dog race of the day. Made me think of the old me sat in a bookies and how good I feel to be at home getting ready to meet a friend for a coffee.
Only a short one as I have to work. Feel good because it's payday and I won't be gambling today!
Payday came and went with no distractions, I wasn't tempted to gamble at all. I don't miss it at all, I feel totally different inside. I have a long way to go but at least I can live some sort of a normal life. Have quite a busy month ahead, which makes a change after having years of emptiness. I still have a lot of work to do, but in order to get to where I want to be I need to stop gambling. The rest will follow in time.
So today is 74 days of living without gambling. obviously its good to actually have money in the bank. But the best thing about this is to actually have some control over myself. No need to lie to people anymore or instinctively head to a bookies whenever I have cash. No feelings of emptiness or despair.
Things are going well, I have work today and I wont be going anywhere near a bookies!
Hi Phil
Just wanted to drop a line to say well done on zooming past 70 days- its a great achievement!
Be careful running on that knee though if its injured, if you start gym use the cross trainer, its low impact and will increase fitness level for when you can pound the pavements. Anyway, have a great weekend and well done again!
Linda
Thanks for the message Linda, good to see I'm still a few days behind you and hope it stays like that.
Its day 75, inching closer to the big 100. It will be here before I know it. 27th March is the big day, I am looking forward to it.
Last day in work today and then have two days off. Looking forward to chilling out and relaxing. Its been quite a stressful week in work and there are changes to my department which they say wont affect us, but I think they may.
Just had odds up for formula one on ** *** news. Its so frustrating to see. I turn over quickly, but it still puts a thought in my head. Wish there was less gambling advertising on tv.
Right that's me for today, off to work soon and another day where I wont be gambling!
Day 76 and finally a day off work. Its been a good day so far, weathers been good and I did some shopping. Another day where I was out and about with some cash in my pocket but didn't consider going near a bookies! Not sure what to do tonight, so far I'm just chilling out and catching up on some tv and reading.
For others on here who have gambling on horses as their main problem the next few weeks will be tough. A big meeting next week and then another at the start of April. The old me was so weak I would have really struggled to survive the next month without going back to gambling. But the new me is confident that I have enough barriers and also a strong enough mindset to be confident that I will not slip up.
Gambling does not interest me now, I want to move on with life and be happy. This place has been a big help and the amazing people on here an inspiration.
No gambling for me today!
hi im on day 67 of not gambling, I gambled on roulette online and in the betting offices,i got self excluded from the betting offices and got my online accounts blocked.
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