11 weeks without gambling, 77 days of bliss! Thousands of pounds saved and no new debts as a result. However this morning I almost made a mistake. I turned my laptop on and I usually open up four tabs on my browser and there are a few different sites I always check first. Instead of keying in Gamcare I subconsciously almost keyed in a racing newspapers website which was one of the old Phils first stops of the day. I only got as far as the first letter before I realised what I was doing. I have no urge to gamble it was a subconscious thing, but still a sign of how I have to keep my guard up.
Its another lovely day today so I am going to go out for a walk. I have also been shopping and bought a load of healthy food. Going to cut out all the junk for this week, eat healthily at home and just save the alcohol and high calorie food for the odd day or night out. Going to start my three times a week running plan again tonight.
I was looking for a local football match to go to tonight, but it doesn't look like there is one. However I have got an early finish on Friday so I can go to the rugby so that's something to look forward to. I also just bought Football Manager 2014, previous versions have been really good, if not slightly addictive, maybe this year I can get Tranmere into the Champions League!
That's me for today, feeling positive and wont be going anywhere near a bookmakers!
Day 78 and I'm feeling really rough! Feel like I have been on an all night bender. I didn't drink last night so I cant blame the booze. Think I must be coming down with something. I don't like to take sickies but today in work is going to kill me.
Just a quick post today as I do feel dreadful and cant concentrate.
No gambling for me today!
I just about got through work yesterday, a few times I thought I would need to come home but I stuck it out. Today I still feel run down, but a lot better than yesterday.
Well its day 79 and once again a day when I am not going to gamble! I posted the other day about looking at the time and it was 11 11 and how this reminds me of the second dog race of the day. Well both yesterday and today I checked the time and it was 11 11 which is just weird. I don't check the time every five minutes so it was a strange coincidence. Life is so much better now I no longer bet on the dogs, but I would rather not think about it. Maybe its my gambling subconscious trying to suck me back in, but it wont win, I don't want my old life back.
I couldn't sleep last night so I put a film on. The film was Dallas Buyers Club and I would highly recommend it. It was a really inspirational and moving story which shows how lucky we are to have our health and how we should embrace life.
RIght that's me, another gamble free day ahead!
Day 80 and I'm still going strong, no big urges and not missing gambling at all. One thing that is troubling me though is the amount of adverts for the big horse racing meeting next week. One of my barriers is to avoid newspapers, websites and anything else that can give me any information about whats going on in the horse racing world. Mainly because if I find out one of my favourite horses or race meetings is on then it could play on my mind and possibly tempt me. I have stopped listening to talksport because of all the adverts but now they are on tv too and its really frustrating. Specific horses and races are being mentioned in adverts and I really don't want to know. The whole gambling industry is morally corrupt and adverts should be banned. The biggest joke of all is that they all refer to gambling responsibly! They used to encourage me to gamble irresponsibly, with all their texts offering me a free 500 bet if I spent 2000 that day, the special promos area managers would give me etc...... Nobody ever pulled me to one side after I had spent another few thousand and tried to help me, so where does this responsible gambling that they all advertise come in?
I remember going into my local bookies to self exclude and she wouldn't let me, she said there had to be a 24 hour cooling off period. It took me ages to bring myself to do it and then when I finally got the nerve they wouldn't let me. After about 20 minutes of me insisting she excludes me she finally did.
Wow didn't plan on a rant today but I guess deep down I am angry because they exploited me. Fair enough nobody made me gamble my money, but they knew how bad my problem was and they encouraged me to bet larger amounts and to stay in a bookies as long as possible. On busy days they even gave me my own till so I didn't have to queue.
If you have had too much to drink in a pub they wont serve you, if you have bet all your money in a bookies and are in despair and mental unrest they will take your debit card with a smile on their face and allow you to empty your bank account and deepen the pain. Responsible gambling my ar*e.
No bets for me today, the old mug has gone and they can advertise all they like but they are not sucking me back in!
Firstly........congrats on 80 days - around the world in that time mate!! Superb going.......
Secondly........good to be taking your mind off things next week - is always going to be a big test of resolve, strength and determination.
Next.......can't believe the exclusion story - just ridiculous......no surprise though and a valid rant methinks!!
One more day to work then it's some time off, packing required, gym stuff needed, healthy week, friends to spend time with........oh, and sh1tty weather guaranteed!! 🙂
Speak soon Big Philla!!
Mr B
Hi Born
Well done on smashing 80 days! Its a great feeling to know that you can do whatever you want if you set your mind to it!
Onwards & Upwards
Linda
Thanks Mr B, next week is just what I need, going to be great to catch up and looking forward to meeting a few more of us on the Friday night.
You are right Linda if we get into the right frame of mind so much can be achieved, you cant be far from 100 days now.
Its day 81 and after todays shift I have 8 days off work 🙂 There has been talk of lots of changes and plenty more stress in my job so I'm glad to be out of there and not have to hear about it. Sooner 10pm comes along the better!
Sadly I am missing a seriously good day of sport today. I will get the first half of Arsenal V Everton before work but will have to miss the Chelsea match. I need a promotion in work or a new job because my shifts not the greatest. Although in some ways its good as it means I'm in work during most of the days horse racing, and acts as another barrier. The more of them the better!
I keep seeing car adverts and am getting itchy fingers, I need to get rid of my debts first. I have considered getting a run around for now but I think I need to be sensible and clear my debts first. Once I am debt clear and have gone a lot longer without gambling I can treat myself to a new car and maybe a dream holiday. Gambling has deprived me of all this but the new me can have it all.
Oh well off to make some lunch and watch the first half before work. No bets for me today!!!!!
Its day 82 and I have really been spoilt for choice with the sport on tv. I'm in work most weekends and miss the best of the sport but this afternoons been a nice change. Brilliant result for England in the rugby and then caught the end of the Man City game. Games like that just reinforce how good it is not to be a gambler anymore. There must have been thousands of people waiting for City to win as the last leg of their accumulator. I'm glad I'm not wasting my money anymore!
As hard as I'm trying the ads for the big meeting this week are hard to avoid and I have seen a few names of horses. I'm not tempted but I still would rather not know. This time next week I will be sat here having passed a huge test by avoiding a bet next week. I don't want my old life back and I have no interest in going into a bookies. The barriers are well in place to stop me gambling, but I also want my mind to be the first and biggest barrier.
Right off to have a Sunday roast, no bets for me today!
Day 83, the sun is shining and I have 7 more days off work to look forward to. Been busy this morning getting a bag packed for my trip up to Scotland tomorrow. Going to be great to get a few days away.
My challenge this week is to avoid Cheltenham. I have barriers in place to stop my gambling but I will have small amounts of cash on me and need to walk past bookies. I find as a gambler I was in denial and would glorify the good days to ease the pain over the bad. A few times I won significant amounts during Cheltenham, but it didn't benefit me, it would be gone the following morning on the dogs or the next days racing.
Those days are gone, I can't win because I can't stop. I have had 83 days of winning and this is the only way I will ever win. On Saturday I will have passed a very big test. They can try and suck me back in with their tv ads and emails that I have asked them not to send me, but I am no longer putting myself and the people that matter through anymore pain. I have a better life now and I will not be slipping back into my old ways.
Phil is feeling stronger than ever, no bets for me today and no bets for me this week!
Currently on the train on my way to Glasgow. It's day 84, 12 weeks without a bet. For me this is a seriously long amount of time and a big achievement. It's made me a better person and a more productive person. I've also been a more honest person and not had to lie to anybody. Financially things are a lot better too, things are getting paid off and I'm getting closer and closer to paying it all off.
It's a long journey on the train and I wanted to buy a newspaper but unfortunately whilst I'm sure I could have just read it and not looked at the racing pages I still need to use that barrier and avoid buying papers. Fortunately my table on the train has a plug so I can keep my phone charged. I would usually be looking at the bbc sport app but that's another barrier for this week as there will be far too much about Cheltenham on it this week.
I can say with my head held high that this is the first time in 17 years that I have not wanted to place a bet on Cheltenham or wanted to read about it or watch it. Shows how far I have come and all in such a short amount of time. There's so much more out there for me and I am not going to let my old ways hold me back again!
Today I will not be gambling!
Day 85 and it's a late post for me. Had an amazing day in sunny Scotland with some fab people! There's so much more to life than gambling and days like this prove it.
To be living life without any thoughts of gambling during Cheltenham week is an achievement which I thought would be beyond me.
Life's so different now, I'm a new person and I didn't gamble today and I won't be gambling tomorrow!
86 days for me and today was spent in Edinburgh. Stopping gambling has given me this freedom to get out and about, seeing new places and meeting new people. Life really has took a huge turn for me and whilst I regret the time I have lost I am excited by all I have to look forward to in the future.
This week has been a turning point for me, it has further enhanced how good life is and no way am I ever going back to my old ways. No bets today and no bets tomorrow!
Day 87 and am sat in a pub in Glasgow, Cheltenham is nearly over and I have not seen any of it, heard anything about it or most importantly had a bet on it. Huge achievement for me, massive test passed for me and I feel I am on the right track and these changes are for good!
Hard to put into words exactly how I feel at the moment, but it's all just so positive! No bets for me today and closer to my century!
Day 88 and my last day in Scotland, it's been a brilliant week and I'm sad to have to go back home today. If you had told me this time last year that I had a bright future and would be spending Cheltenham 2014 with new friends and not going anywhere near a bookmakers I wouldn't have thought it was possible. So much has happened in such a short amount of time.
This journey of mine will continue. 17 years of self inflicted harm and abuse left me a broken man. In just over 12 weeks so much has happened to me and by continuing on this journey I have so much hope for the future and I am excited about what it holds for me.
No bets for me today!
Hi Phil
Great to see you doing so well! Keep it up and have a great weekend
Lindax
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