Day one is tomorrow👍 one day at a time -#1

Today is the day before the start of my day one Monday I gambled in a bookies in the fobts losing another £250. I was in there about 3 hours all went on various fruit machine type games .. I managed to keep back £150 in payout tickets but it all eventually went back in again . I didn't even get the burger I was supposed to be buying as I spent too long in there and too much money ..

Tuesday tomorrow will be day #1 again 

Yesterday Sunday I joined a non gamblock casino again as I am blocked from most other online casinos with gamblock I lost £150 after the usual ups and downs of winning and losing . So that's £400 down the drain  this is unsustainable.

Sunday I felt awful so why the next day when I have some free time why do I think about gambling again..?

I felt sick on Sunday so why by the next day had I forgotten the pain ??

Before gambling today I  even questioned myself buying a £3.50 curry as I had lost the money on Sunday but then found myself going in the bookies again .I am fed up with gambling messing with my mind and sense of reality I know I

Each time I tell myself this is the last day but at the moment it  I have spare money even if it is needed for my future security I don't think about that or other people who I should be contributing financially towards in my life..

We all know if you playing they will always take your money in the end . This is what it is designed to do...

I was under the forum under a different name but am rejoining after a long period of recovery.

I started gambling in late teens first horses and dogs, then fruit machines and before long the dreaded roulette and fruit machines fobts. I.got in debt maxing out credit cards, a consolidation loan overdrafts etc mainly from online roulette and fobts.

I was doing well sorting myself out  financially after taking out a plan and self excluding from high street bookies about 6 years ago and putting online blocks in place.

I am not wealthy by any means and in someways the gambling had stopped me from pushing myself to better myself in my career as it was pointless as it all would go an gambling.

However after only very minor relapses my gamblock came to an end after 5 years and I found myself gambling online again after requesting to be removed from the list , I relapsed and put the gamblock back in place 

In my gamble free period over the six years I cleared my debt with a plan and the blocks helped after the debt . I never even entered a bookies . 

 I had some redundancy money and bought investment items instead of gambling .So have been in a much better place .

However after stupidly starting to gamble again after reinstalling gamblock finding loopholes with the more dodgy unregulated non UK casinos not part of the gamblock list .

I won £4000 on online roulette and it did hit my account with a low outlay. I then began going back into high street bookmakers which no longer were the same as the ones I had self excluded with .

Needless to say the £4000 has gone although some hit the old bank account. I then began selling most of the items which I had bought as an investment in the 1000s . Winning the £4k after a sustained period of not gambling was the worst thing that could have happened..

So most of my hard work  has been undone with selling the assets and losing a lot of the money .

I managed to put some away where I cannot touch it. But have lost a fair whack of the rainy day item fund. Thinking I could win it back again.

I have enough to get by and I am not in debt but can't really afford to give them more of my cash and now most of my savings have gone again ... and not many bits to turn into cash left.  

Tuesday must be my day 1 again 

Hence my name Viciouscycle50