Day one is tomorrow👍 one day at a time -#1

Now is my day #1

I feel ashamed that I have become weak to the temptations of gambling despite all the heartache turmoil and destruction emotionally mentally, health-wise and financially 😓

I have been gambling in some shape or  form in a destructive way for about 30 of my 50 years .

I had stopped till this year 2024 apart from the odd lottery ticket which seemed controllable . The problem being roulette in bookies , slots and both online .

I had stopped for the last 5 years to till I came off the gamblock exclusion list when the period ended and chose not to rejoin  .It was my choice and.I went back online and walked into a bookies again for the first time in years as I had self excluded. Financially I was in a much better state and felt on top of the world.

Unfortunately I could not trust myself to gamble again online even after a large win. Went back in the bookies again on dreaded machines...

Gambling addiction is all too stealthy. But to control this we have to work at it .

I have P****d up the wall all the winnings I had between the bookies high street and online nd now my own money and cashing in valuable items I had carefully saved up..

So that feels distressing .

I do not have a well paid  job but like the  people I work with and the job which counts a lot .

I only have a fraction of the money I had which was keeping me afloat but cannot afford to go back to make gambling with the deluded idea that I will win the losses back.

Anyway gamblock is in place and frozen my card for gambling transactions. 

I must have spent about 5k of my own money plus the so called wins .

I managed to have a few short holidays when my mind was more lucid when I think about the luxury holiday for 3 weeks I could have hsd or cruise it makes me feel sick 🤢 

There was no need to gamble again as I had a buffet of money I had built up in recovery . Buy the one nig win again started me off gambling even more and losing the lot and more of my own money ..

I know the win is equally destructive to a gambler .

Let me remember again how good things were before when I was not gambling and  that today I will not gamble.

 I cannot trust myself even after 5 years gamble free and the demons are still there if I let them back in 

I wish everyone else a gamble free day .

Over and out Viciouscircle50 

please @dave101 for a reply.

Sorry to see the old gambling grind hitting you hard. It's day 2 for me, I have moved away from investments in crypto which was basically gambling for me. I feel clean but I keep going back to old projects seeing if they will do anything and it's the same story I don't think I ll ever get my fiat money back.

Can I just say, well done for not getting into debt. I would recommend a GA meeting for helping to stop. I know even after 5 years it's easy for the demons to come back. My demons I believe is just greed and money in general I just want to let that go... The only way to do that is with barriers and making it difficult to gamble to give you the time to think of more important things than gambling.

If this isn't supportive enough. I am sure a forum admin will be able to provide details of potential help on this site which should help you stop and build you up for a gamble free future 

Take care @Viciouscircle50

Dave101

Hi Dave101

Thanks for your reply . To cut to the chase I have been back and forth to the bookies and played on fobt machines since your post on 24 th September over October but managed one week without gambling .

Today I lost , won it all back and lost it all again when I could have walked out even. So now tomorrow I know a direct debit will not go though.  Fortunately it is not a crucial bill but it will cause a charge and gambling has robbed me again once more .

You lose so quickly in these places when it looks like a half decent win it is never enough often as you have just lost the amount you "won'!My problem again is the games on the fobts. I no longer touch the roulette games but the other so called entertainment is just as evil and addictive .

Why can't my thick brain understand you cannot beat these machines long-term they are designed to hook you in and cause an adrenaline rush winning and losing it is all part of the same cycle . It is always the same for me and most gamblers they just will take our money on the end and more .

It feels so good when you have won a chunk of money back but it is so easy to keep going and lose the lot. They are designed to hook you in. They know gamblers get addicted to the game and cannot really take the winnings it just goes back in and some.

The trouble with gambling is when you win you want more and there is just as much adrenaline when you lose it all again with the chemical releases in the brain.

I have put the gambling freeze on my bank account again and I am only not in debt because of the long period of about 5 years not gambling and going in these places . I also sorted my finances loans , cc overdraft debt etc with a debt plan which was a very humbling and difficult experience.

The worse thing I did was when my gamblock online  came to an end I deregistered and started gambling online and had a win, I then lost it and started gambling and selling valuables I had stashed away to get cash and entered the bookies for the first time this year after many years not going in to the bookies.

Needless to say much of the good work as regards cash saved up and in valuables has gone to the bookies removed link

I know I can do it again but it has to be total abstinence for me and not even entering a bookies. I thought It was safer than online but it is not I cannot control myself once I hit those fobt machines .

It has been a bit of a social experience going in the bookies but now it is out of control again. I may as be throwing the money down the drain and not going as it has the same result in the end every time whether you win or not.

If someone said to you throw your hard earned money down the drain in the street would you do it ?

Obviously not so really this addiction for all of us really is a mental condition than needs to be overcome and the issues addressed .

Here's to a better tomorrow.

There was no need for me to gamble I had enough for bills till Friday now I am struggling when I did not need to.

Why put myself though this stress again week on week?

I have like a lot of people had enough of this addiction .

I feel deeply ashamed I do not have the self esteem for myself to say no I am better than this action of gambling ...

Viciouscircle50 

Finally have taken the action I needed .

Have spent all the cash I had. Sold something to bail me out and that all has now gone . We are talking a grand.

Went a week without gambling then lost another £500 in an arcade on 14/11/2024 this is the final straw before get into debt again.

Always find this time of year depressing and had time on my hands and some spare cash.

Did £700 last Monday  and £500 this Thursday .

New machines etc and found myself chasing losses and no good wins. Went to cash point twice .

For me spare time and money and boredom are big triggers for my gambling.

Anyway I knew what I was doing was kind of wrong but still found myself doing it and before I knew it I had maxed out my card.

Have enough for bills but must stop now.

How foolish I was thinking I could start gambling again after five years online and in bookmakers . 

Well I felt so low this time and stupid and the only way to beat this addiction is to put all blocks in place.

I have now self excluded with one of the programmes for bookmakers in the local area I go to and the arcade where I just lost. Already have gamblock in place online ..

To think at the start of the year I had xxxx£ and if is all done down the pan to gambling.

I felt embarrassed having to self exclude where people know me and where I work nearby  but it is better to be safe . I also feel so  stupid for keep going back to gambling but there again there are gambling triggers everywhere like the adverts for casinos and bookmakers on TV which I think should be banned 

Anyway I have done the sensible thing . But why did it take me thousands of pounds of hard earned money to lose and rexh my rock bottom again when I have been though it before to stop and out the blocks in place again ?

It was as if I was testing myself . I am not wealthy by any means and have a mundane low paid role so will take time to heal and recover.

This is an awful addiction but finally I am doing the right thing . But it has taken me about 8 months to finally remind myself again I cannot win at gambling as I will always lose in the end and don't know when to stop. 

I would advise anyone reading this to put all blocks in place before gambling robs you anymore of your self worth and money and general well being and your family .

I don't know why it has taken me so long to come round to sense again .

I have hit my rock bottom and don't want to gamble anymore.

If you like money do not gamble it is not a way to make money or solve your life problems it will just make them worse.

Must remind myself of this everyday.

If someone asked us to burn our hard earned money or to shred it or put it down the drain we would not do it by all logic. So why do we continue to gamble?

The truth is this is an insidious disease and gambling  addiction and the only way to be a winner is to quit gambling and break the cycle by any means possible.

Viciouscircle50