06/08/18
Woke up this morning feel okay, again my emotion's at the moment are of relief. Maybe my emotions will change in the future or maybe it's just my way of dealing with everything.
Today is Monday which means another week at work, I've read on here about other's getting sick note's from their GP's and having time off work but I'd rather be at work, keeping myself busy which will keep my mind off things.
It's a great feeling knowing that I can use my phone again after not being able to text or phone for two weeks, since my brother had sorted out a new phone contract for me I decided to phone him first. Phoning my brother for the first time in two weeks felt really good, it's amazing how you take the little things for granted, like using a mobile phone. However, after finally being able to use my phone again, it makes you realise and appreciate the little things in life.
Work was good and the day went quick, I've decided not to tell any of my work collegues though. When I'd got home from work, my parents had told me that they'd gone to the bank and paid my £1000 overdraft off. Another gestures of kindness which I am very thankful for, instead of enjoying their afternoon together, they had to go to the bank to bail their son out. Thankful for them doing this, I also felt guilty and felt for sorry for them, why should they have to waste their spare time and money to bail me out, all because I wasted my time and money gambling.
Today was my first week gamble free, although my addiciton was discovered on 04/08/18 I had finally run out of money on 30/07/18. Writing this now I realise that I was saved on 04/08/18, up until that day I still had urges to gamble and was thinking about how would I make it through the month of August until my next payday, what sickens me more is that my electronic gadgets would certainly have being sold as the buy back agreement date's would now have expired. However, it's strange really as ever since 04/08/18 I've not had one urge to gamble, my family finding out and realising the hurt I've caused, I've not being interested in gambling. I know if my addiction had not been discovered, I'd still have urges to gamble everyday.
Take care.
Ry.
Hello,
A lot of good stuff achieved in the week it seems. Two things that you might want to consider: firstly the guilt around your parents' paying off your overdraft and secondly finding constuctive ways of dealing with your urges.
If you're not accessing counselling from us presently, perhaps consider that as an option to enable you to deal with some of the seemingly irrelevant issues and decisions that might come up.
Be realistically cautious; urges and triggers can only be dealt with effectively if identified sometimes early on, before they lead to the action of gambling.
Good week, keep going, lots to build on.
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