Disappointed

Hi - parent of a gambler speaking

Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother and that must have been a tough time for you. Unfortunately things like that throw us all into finding comfort in some way or another and yours was the gambling. The good thing is you are admitting you have a problem and it is obvious you want recovery and you are worried about hurting people around you - which means you are not totally selfish - and this site is the best place to start to get help. You will be able to talk to people in the same position as you and also the counsellors are on hand to offer emotional and practical advice on the phone. If you are determined to recover try not to do it on your own - either enlist your girlfriend, family, friend to help. The more of a secret your problem is the more opportunity to do it I am afraid. Make a list of what you need to do and stick to it: i.e. Make today Day 1 of not gambling and then keep ticking off and counting the days - Ring gamcare for advice on self exclusion from sites/shops and financial and emotional support - then tell your girlfriend what you have actioned so far. It is helpful if you can let someone else control your finances for a while so you only have limited access to funds. I am afraid £3000 worth of winnings will inevitably turn into a lifetime of debt for most people and I would not like to see you dragged down any further than you are now. If you try some of the above you will feel the weight starting to lift from your shoulders and you will see that there is hope for the future.

Good luck.

Thank you for your comments. After posting this when I got in from work I actually managed to get a nights sleep. My gf has all but left me now not due to my gambling but due to the person it turns me into. My hope is that when I have gotten myself gamble free and therefore debt free she will see the love for her I have is more important than any fruit machine. I have a young son who I see twice a week but I find myself putting that off as I feel so low at times. Anyway. Day 1 work later and as we have an audit tomorrow lots to keep my mind busy. Tom

Just my view as always - don't just think about the money. As you said you said yourself it's "the person it turns you into". Some great advice from gamparentanon - try to take it on board and maybe start your own diary. In my view the money is gone and isn't coming back. As I have posted on my own diary I more or less gambled on every race in every meeting. But by listening and learning and not being the cocky k**b I was the first few months I started to use this forum plus all the other measure mentioned such as self-exclusion, trying to think differently etc my life has started to improve slowly. I have debts that I am dealing with monthly through a charity called Step Change but it is my behaviour and mental state that is more important + did I ever make any friends in the bookies? Did I actually enjoy myself? It's a one day at a time process for me and I wish you all the best and look forward to following your progress. Best wishes, Phil

Hi Tom,

I've read a few if your other diaries and as you said in one you post a couple of times then disappear. You can't fix this in a few days you need to be on here daily reading and posting good and bad not just when you have a bet.

Im not going to go on about the triangle you should know about that, but it would be good for you tell us what blocks you have in place? how you keep getting round them? Are you getting external help from GA it counselling? I see you seem to be on a "break" from your partner but does anyone else know?

I to am separated from my partner but I see my son regularly, you should be getting to see your lad at every opportunity it will hell you and give you a focus.

Don't disappear this time make this your last diary and keep sharing and reading in here it helps massively.

KTF

Thanks guys. I think my biggest problem is I don't talk. Hence I'm back here. My "partner" knows but she doesn't approve at all which has caused me to be apart from her. I can't tell my mum as she went mental last time and that just causes me to go into a state of depression I can't be in right now. I feel so low and when I feel like that I can't shake it. My son means the world to me but I struggle to look after him when I feel so down 🙁 he really is my pride and joy. That's why I'm doing this now. He is my world and he is the only important person to me. If my Gf can't accept that I have a problem that I am trying to curb then she can go. My problem is when I feel down I gamble to try to feel better then I have no money. I have £100 to last me till payday (end of the month) and that's going to be taken up purely by fuel. What blocks are there out there. I can't use k9 as I don't know what my restrictions password is to be able to set it up. Thank you for your support guys 1 step at a time for me but it's seeing people succeed at what I am trying which helps me Tom

Just finished work for the night and for once I have no urges to play. Maybe it's because I know I don't have enough money to see me through the month as it is. Thanks for the support so far. I'm going to beat this. Tom

Good evening after managing 6days gamble free my first GA meeting went well hearing story's of past gamblers wins, I woke up before my alarm an I had made my mind up I was going to bet, 225 pound later an a blubbering wreck I dint go to work. My girlfriend was on her way to work an works at the HQ where I bank she can acesses my account details an statements whenever, I had to tell her before she got to work at 1pm she's turned around an came straight home to find me having breakdown, my first an last relapse, I felt terrible for it an Im back on the right track I saw it as a final cry for desperation now fully excluded from all bookings within 7 miles an excluded on line, be proud I'm proud an it's a addiction it doesn't just dissapear over night. Go steady RBDTR xx

I think you are heading in the right direction with Day 1 and hope you will keep counting the days and good luck with Day 2.. This is all about you controlling your spending on something that is actually making you miserable in the end and training yourself to keep your hands in your pockets and not be lured by the gambling world throwing temptation in your way i.e. adverts, emails, texts etc.Stay on here for advice and support and also you might be able to help someone else after a while - a very good and supportive bunch of people on here and there is nothing better than talking.

Take care.

Day 2 done. Didn't gamble although I did log into my lady lucks account to withdrawl the little bit of money left in there. That to me is a big deal as I didn't even get tempted to take a spin. Just logged in withdrew and closed the web page. Hoping to see my ex tomorrow and talk to her then at work most of the night. Will keep me busy so that's good too. Thanks for helping me this is a last resort for me and I feel it is already making me see sense. One day at a time. Keep my head high and my pride. Tom

Close the account down and self exclude, why leave the door open if you're stoping gambling you don't need it. Sorry to be to the point but it's a no brainer

I have already emailed them to exclude just needed whatever money I can get to see me through the rest of the month and I knew I had some in there still.

Just got myself to work. Went to see Rachel today too which went well and I'm feeling good. No chance of a gamble today to ruin my mood. 🙂 Tom

Pleased to see you'd already SE from the site. Keep the guards yo high.

KTF

Tom

Day 2 and You are already sounding more upbeat - glad the meeting with your girlfriend went well and hoping she will be supportive. Stick to the action plan for recovery and keep your eye on those finances. Good luck.