Done it AGAIN!!!!

Hi Tina, can understand about the feelings of anger with ourselves as I had urges last week and this week and made me cross with myself which is a good thing as we know its not what we want.

Am sure the dmp will go fine as thats what they specialise in and have dealt with thousands of people who need help.

take care

Mary

So I have spoken to the money advisor and she went through my budget plan with me and is sending me out the details to look over and sign. She was really lovely and has made me feel so much calmer about things. It seems in Scotland there is some sort of government thing called a das (debt arrangement scheme) where once I have entered into it creditors HAVE to freeze all interest and charges, so am feeling a lot more hopeful about my financial situation now.

I went straight to the bank after my phone call and withdrew the money that was over and above my direct debits so that it is safely out of harms way. It will be a bit strange using cash because I normally just use my card for everything, but hopefully it will teach me the proper value of money again as I can't just go spending money I don't have like I used to with the credit cards.

Feeling so much better than I have in the past week or so and am determined to not let this addiction beat me and am ready to take this journey head on.

Wishing everyone a happy and gamble free day

tina x

Well done Tina, on 3 accounts 🙂

11 days in

Having that tough chat with the money advisors

And last but not least taking your available money out of the bank, you will very quickly get used to cash, and yep you are soo right, we get the value back if what real money is,

Proud of you Tina.

Keep strong stay focused and keep winning in every way.

Suzanne xxx

Day 12 - feeling ok today. Pushing any thoughts of gambling out of my head. I have my little nephew and niece coming to stay tonight so that should keep me busy to say the least.

Thanks for the messages of support - I really don't know if I would be getting through this without them.

Staying positive and sending positive thoughts to everyone out there and hope you are all enjoying a happy, gamble free day

Tina x

Day 13 - I'm so up and down just now. trying to stay positive but it's really hard. I'm sorry if my diary is really up and down but that's just the way I feel at the moment. I want to be me again and I want to be rid of this horrible addiction but I realise this battle won't be over anytime soon and I've got a long way to go and I feel sometimes like I'm losing the battle. I want to gamble. There I said it. I want to gamble and try and get myself out of the mess I am in. I know I won't, I know I can't, but I want to. I want to lose myself for those few hours, minutes, seconds and believe I can rid myself off the debt I am in. I wish I could just take a pill that would reprogramme my head so that the urges would go away. I just want to be Tina again, not Tina the gambler.

Sorry for the self pitying post but just have to get my feelings out.

Tina x

Hi Tina,

No need at all for apologies, we all understand Hun, that's why I call my recovery a rollercoaster ride,

2weeks today,be very proud, you are doing just fine, keep pushing through the bad days, they don't last long, our feelings change just like the weather lol.

Keep going one day at a time and keep winning one day at a time.

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Day 15 - was out of the house all day yesterday - went and met up with one of my friends with the kids. I really wish I could tell her about my addiction. We have been friends since we were 8 years old and she is like a sister to me and we (normally) tell each other everything, but something is stopping me telling her this. I just can't find the right words and I am too embarrassed.

thank you so much Suzanne for your kind words - you really are helping me pull through this. am finding it really difficult at times and sometimes feel like I'm losing my mind.

taking it one day at a time and trying to look forward to the good times ahead and not dwell on the past.

Tina x

I know what you mean Tina, it's so hard telling people about this, because we don't even understand the madness of it ourselves.

If it is on your mind to tell her every time you see her, I guess you will find the right moment and words,

15 days well done, remember small steps, every day, stuff does fall into place slowly.

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Day 16 - I would love to say that I am starting to feel better, but my emotions are still all over the place. Feeling very anxious about my finances and woke up at three this morning thinking about it. Received the paperwork from the money advisor about the das. It seems it's not going to be as easy for me to set up as I thought as I don't have a lot of disposable income leftover to pay for it. Have another appointment with her on Thursday so hopefully I can get something worked out.

Tina x

Day 17 - been out all day today with the kids. Trying to keep busy and keep any urges at bay.

I am nervous but looking forward to my appointment tomorrow with the money advisor as I hope I will be more clearer on what options I have and where i go from here. Just wanting my finances sorted and then I can truly focus on my recovery. Suppose this is all part of that as well though but think I will feel so much better when the finances part is sorted. Will hopefully start to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Tina x

Doing so well Tina. Stay strong. Does make recovery easier if we can sleep at night rather than worrying about debt and am sure money advisor will be great help. take care

Mary x

Doing so well Tina. Stay strong. Does make recovery easier if we can sleep at night rather than worrying about debt and am sure money advisor will be great help. take care

Mary x

thank you Mary - it's nice to know people out there understand what I'm going through at the moment.

Day 18 - spoke to the money advisor again today. After tweaking a few things on my budget sheet it looks like the das might be able to go ahead. Not getting my hopes up too high yet though as I now need to wait on a financial advisor who sets it up for me to give me a call. It's all taking so much longer than I thought it would in the beginning and I'm now late on a few of my cc payments and I'm scared to pick up the phone in case it's them chasing payment.

Staying strong and trying to stay positive though - taking it one day at a time.

Tina x

Hi Tina,

Don't worry about answering the phone, if it is one of your debtors, you just tell them you are now setting up a payment plan, and the organisation who are doing it will be in touch very soon, your debtors can't demand anything then off you.

Stay strong and keep focused 19 days today, well done

Suzanne xxx

Day 19 - first morning I have woke up without a feeling of dread in my stomach. I think going through my finances yesterday has helped, that and the fact I am just fed up of being fed up lol. Hopefully this is the start of the turning point for me.

Have to go in town today to find a birthday gift for my dad - this won't be easy for two reasons 1. Don't have much money to spend (but not going to dwell on this too much, it's just the way it is now) and 2. What do you get a soon to be 80 year old man who has everything he needs or wants?!?

Hope everyone enjoys a good and gamble free day

Tina x