Back in that dark hole again - I have been back and forward here over the past couple of years and here I am back again...
Dejected, forlorn, lost, sad, lonely, angry, worthless, empty that about sums up how I feel right now
All of my own making and all because of gambling, bookmakers and my addictive personality! Why am I doing this to myself and my family - lies lies and more lies! I hate this and I hate myself right now! I hate the person this has made me and I want to change so much but feel so weak all the time!
So here goes no more self pity or loathing! Back on the wagon = I hate gambling so refuse to give in anymore!
I love my family too much and I am not willing to risk losing them anymore!
Stay strong....This is my first day on this website and the first day after self excluding from all the websites. I know exactly how you are feeling, it's horrible and more so you feel you are letting down all your family, friends and more importantly my wife, and only my wife for the last 6 months. We plan to have a family very soon and this cannot continue.
The next time I get the urge I'm going to think about family and my wife.
Let's kick this...
Jonathan
Bobby keep at it fella as long as you keep wanting to stop it will click in to place I've tried and failed many times in the end I felt ill and anxious while gambling as I knew it wasn't right which was the best thing ever for me as it keeps me from going back I'm only on 50 days but best I've felt in quite a while never stop trying
The bear
Hi Bobby, Im in the same boat, and going to through the same emotions as you've described, its sickening isnt it, not just the money but the endless lies and deceit and pain caused by our selfess actions. An alcoholic friend of mine told me it never gets better, it can only get worse he was talking about drinking, and the same applies to all addictions including gambling! Keep positive that s what im trying to do, self exclude every where, it;ll help, speak to people how u feel, if u cant talk to your wife, then organise some counselling ! it can be done , i've been 6 months clean people have been 20 yrs clean, wish you all the best
Hi I'm only on day 3 and 1st time ever on the site so hard to give advise well when I'm still an addict but fri , sat, sun , Monday I hit rock bottom £100 per spin on roullete over and over and over it was gone in about 2hrs this was Monday I came home I lay on my cold kitchen floor and cryed I am 20 year old man this is pathetic I'm no on day 3 and realise day 3 isn't amazing but it is to me I'm going to post everyday till I'm on day 1000 pick urself up if u use a desktop or laptop to gamble put a picture off the people u care about or if u go to the bookies put one in ur wallet look at it sometimes you do have to hit rock bottom I had a girlfriend we were 15 when we got together we were so happy my addiction has rewind us to be honest I think I've lost her that's another thing I'm going to have to remember I lost the most important thing to me in the world or a roullete wheel don't let this happen to u I have shown her the site and what I'm doing and told her day 1,2 3 but I've said I'll stop so many times I wouldn't believe me ither I hope she can forgive me and give one last chance don't let it go this far lads it's not worth it 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to post folks really appreciated! Day 2 is in progress in work here - so here is to a gamble free day!
keep strong
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