Dormant

Lol CW.....

'' Me, My self and I '' . I'm nearly at 'I' , Now i've left the others behind. That same non- random line came up a few weeks ago. Thanks.

Hey Paul, just me...The sun is very hot and I've been adrift on this raft now, for what seems like a lifetime. I could be hallucinating... Have you seen the movie Castaway? Now, I'm starting to write like you. 🙂 drifting... And singing old Grateful Dead tunes. We will get by Paul. We will survive..

Ok, so I'm not trying to push you but...if you think and feel nothing about/towards them why did contact from them "make the volcano simmer"?...why do you see yourself as back at the first line of the proverb in relation to them? As always, no need to answer on here x

Hi, V,

It isn't me, me, me.

It's, "Sort me out first, so that I can be there for others, don't wait to do what's needed".

BW,

CW

Oh Oh , now you've done it Paul , the initial twins are after you !! If you need a bolt hole , pop over to my diary for a coffee and a chat ! LOL !

Hai LB,

Ok, here's where came the simmering volcano from and i never processed it properly. I harp on alot about my work and recently as you've seen i've become more involved in thought rather than action as i would say as i was over a week ago. I'm a big boy where works concerned and know its as close now as ever. But last weeks experience annoyed me more than i realised and i tried to surpress it rather than deal with it!! I polished the t**d.. I had a good amusing chat with best pal today and he also asked me about last week, at the end of our funny conversation, he told me in all the time he's known me, he's never heard so many 'foooks'... Hence the contact just made me think ' f***k this ' and maybe a blessing as i released this new anger with out surpressing it.....Now a kick up the ar.se to restart action rather than thought....

Agreed Alan, with regard to being complex, but we all are! With pals something i find easy isn't necessary easy for them and vice versa. I quite enjoy my thoughts and i'm enjoying conversation better of late.

My latest thoughts this morning was about ants and how we're so similar. It made me think bout a past post from Louis regarding us being predominately on autopilot. The conclusion there is we're pretty much treated like ants with the hierachy of human life and yet our natural comfort zone is to be a non thinking autopilot....... Validation alert............ Them thoughts came from a nature documentary from last night and Alans comment on complex ........ ;-).

You're very welcome and you know the doors always open bud ! Just read your last post and I can sort of see where your coming from, we are basic creatures at heart with a set of genetic requirements that because of this modern world we live in have become a bit muddled and we get sidetracked from those objectives . When I read your posts, no disrespect to you but I see you looking at life through many lenses and at many different angles , nothing wrong there but I sometimes think you need to go with what you see first and act on those feeling accordingly ? Mate I'm just babbling on here it's my humble opinion and to be honest I'm always going to be work in progress, so what do I know ? Just chucking my 15 P worth that I earned from a joke the other night !

Are you around...or still holed up over at Alan's?

It's interesting how something seemingly unrelated can release our pent up, held on, stuffed down emotions...and good that you could work through your thoughts and connect the dots.

This may or may not be the time to tell you this , but I was reading the start of your diary a few weeks back. I had to stop reading it. What I was reading sounded like a different person...angrier maybe, more unsettled, I don't really know what it was. I decided I'd rather know you from now if that makes sense.

LB x

Random thoughts......

Scams...........

I do see skams as a way of the world and its completely the same as the corruptive gambling indusrty. Its been how the world is since day dot. Just by being sucked into cartoon horse races in the bookies should make our alarm bells go off in our heads.... but it doesnt with a gambling addict in action, its only when we enter recovery we start seeing. The clouds start to disperse...

Which brings me to some amusing skams i've seen in the past few weeks.

1. At a main London Station, when i return from 1 of my jaunts away, i always head for the same exit for a smoke on my arrival. The other week i saw an old bag lady who was about 106 sat there huddled up with a few bags. I was in the process of digging some change out, when i realised, she'd finished her shift as she was approached by her 2 stooges. That reminded me of Uncle Alberts scene from Only fools and horses, when he got a miracle back cure from Del boy. Then last Sunday i saw the same lady at the same spot being nicely talked to and given presents from the 4 wise well todo women. My gambling head say the old lady lives in some near by mansion.... Respect.

2. The 2nd scam, which i'm not so sure on is by a duke box at my local. The other week i saw the rep and i couldnt work out his visit as he hardly said anything, just opened up the machine. Then i realised the machine doesnt register 10p as i've lost 90p in the past couple of months. So my conspirisict head says if the rep is looking after 50 pubs/ machines then he's making a nice little earner..... This time, no respect....

3. I live opposite in London the most iconic and pictured building in London. Battersea Power station and i only noticed yesterday that 3 of his chimneys have been robbed. Was wondering if this was Pink Floyd?........ This is a bogus scam, as im only jesting.

The moral is that, its not just the bookies who want to scam us, it is and always been all around us.

Look after yourself and yours people...

Hi V

Every year I try coffee, so many people rave about it be I don't get it. I do the same with Stilton cheese and red wine. I just don't get what people rave about them for but I live in hope that one year my tastebuds will develop. This year red wine had become palatable. So that's progress

Now your thinking where am I going, I read all your posts some 4 or 5 times and boy your are complex. I will keep reading and live in hope one day I will get it the first time of reading, I will keep trying and I'm sure I will get there.

KTF

Yeah !!!!! There's that word again , told you complex ? LOL ! Nothing at all wrong with your thoughts Paul but I also have to really look at what your saying and then begin to unravel and decypher what you write , not all the time just with some of the in depth stuff you go into , for me you have an interesting perspective on things that can be quite different to my own and I can see that your heavily into self exploration but as for myself sometimes I'd rather not know how I work but hey thats just me .

Keep doing what you do my friend , whatever works for you .

All the best buddy , catch up with you tommorow . Respect V

Self Validation alert....Goof luck on the Stilton cheese ( i dont get it either ) Martin and i'm sure one day you will get the coffee as you do now the red wine.

I disagree with the complex thought, that would make me special if i agreed. This diary is more an internal dialogue, its not a diary to be 'Got' and as an old GA saying '' take what you want and leave the rest '', which i'm comfortable with.

Any support i give is never complex, so maybe thats the man i am and this diary is well..........just a diary..

V , if we all look on ourselves as special , then were all the same mate , see I can have random thoughts too !

Your right about yoiur support to others its always valid and never complex and your an asset to his forum my friend , continue being your own man and posting your own thoughts on your own diary and if I chip in with anything do with it what you wish .

Take care buddy

The point of my post was that I love keep trying these things the same way I love reading your diary it challenges me and makes me think. It's was more of a post to let you know while I might not get it all Im still here reading i and starting to understand it just like I have with red wine

Hi V

Yep agree with you scams are all around us, and always have been:)

Keep your guard up, keep strong, and I am keeping my fingers firmly crossed :)) that you get a good job that you deserve very very soon my friend.

Take care

Suzanne xxx