Dormant

The goalkeeper rolls the ball to a defender.
The defender takes it a few yards then passes it to a midfielder.
The midfielder after a few crab like passes, hits it to the winger.
The winger dribbles it to the by line and Crosses it to the striker.

The ball goes out of play, as the striker is just a hologram/ phantom. But hai the stereo type footballer isn't the smartest and this goes on and on.

That was the layman terms described to me years ago about the phenomenon of the phantom limb of a amputee.. Interesting stuff, I thought. The complexity of the mind!

I wonder if being inquisitive of my pyche is weird or is it about being human and not just following the pack.

The phantom analogy to me is akin to addictions and what possesses some one to carry out either a harmful behavioural or substance addiction?

To me, when I stop being inquisitive or not wanting to learn is when it's time to get a little bungalow and start telling everyone how wonderful they are.

I'm a product of a smart old fella who reached the pinnacle of his correar by 40. Did I listen to him, did I f**k! Ego was to big and obviously I knew it all. I've never taken anything at face value but when I get told the same thing or read the same by random people/ books I start to listen.

I've learned alot from folks on gamcare, some pearler or even the polar opposite, which is ignorance or bitterness. I've worn the latter's shoes in the majority of my life.

I don't know maybe it's me but I would rather listen and question logic of some one who's been round the block a good few years rather than some one who can't see the end of there nose and resents anyone questioning what the ' fooks ' being going on in there addictive life.

I love being wrong wrong and have changed a life time view in the last few months and that is in times of adversity that the best advice to give is - ' no f*****g advice at all, work it out yourself ' It worked for me during my early amputee days bur I know cajoling / arms round shoulders or simple ' well done s ' are good also .

I was toying with a big farewell post and massage my over sensitive ego, but seen that a million times on gamcare, only for someone to come back with a 'humerous' post akin to my 2 week old undies. Or I thought of letting this diary fall off the edge and cone back later with my ill fitting ballerina shoes hindering my twinkling toes and bitter/ resentful at anybody and everybody as they sing the song " your a fool, there a fool, everybody's a fool - But im bored with that song now as I've sung it so much.

I'm not a 12 stepper but I'm open to learning. Back clapping/ high fiveing or 50/100/150 days celebrations, I don't have an issue with and agreed at early recovery they work well but my experience tells me it's only the start....No high fives never made my arm grow back and will neither aid me in recovery.

Now to further deal with the t**d rather than keep polishing.

Good luck all

Hi, V,

If it's working, stick with it, if not, then think what you need to change and change it? Now what could possibly be more simple?

Look after yourself, best wishes.

CW

t**d won't flush in my macerator loo so have chrome plated it to keep in the smell and mounted it on my mantlepiece. Looks very pretty alongside the silk purse made from this sow's ear. When my energy returns I will use it to manure my garden. Sending hugs just because I can, xxx

This is getting pathetic. I'll see you round the back of the bike shed with your pals after the school bell.

Appreciate your post. Thank you. I'm doing okay, certainly trying hard and making progress. Feel I'm yet to be really tested and have gambled every month I've been here.

Well done for getting through Cheltenham. Not easy for us racing enthusiasts. Avid reader of the forum but somehow only read your Friday post yesterday. Sorry, was keeping myself busy Friday as I had a day off work.

Enjoy reading your diary - even when I don't have a clue what you're posting about.

Entertainingly original.

If you go, who's going to do the prize giving?

People like prizes.

Respect how you've dealt with things in life - some I can identify with - bigger things than a move.

There's a Swedish proverb: "worry often gives a small thing a big shadow."

You will be okay.

I'm looking for a new job and want to move on to pastures new. You seem one step ahead of me all the time - I'm trying to keep up.

When I look for a job that seems a bit far afield, I always think of you, with your five hour(!!!) commute and it really inspires me to just go for everything.

What excuse do I have now? You can get to Cairo in less than five hours!

If you're having a break from the forum, know that whenever you come back I'll still be here, ready with a welcome (within seven days of course).

Good luck with the move in - I make it - eight days. London's loss will be Kent's gain. Don't forget you always have a place here.

I came here to learn, be supported and inspired.

Thank you volcano.

Glint

Wrong thread

Sorry, V, not sure what happened there, just wanted to thank you for your post.

BW,

CW

Random thought.

I've read recently that to stave of dementia, that arguing and blue berries are the way forward. This forum in the last week or so has had plenty of the former, now I've just got to buy some blue berries.

Thank you for your kind words V you're right we aren't really b******s just to chose the wrong fork in the road.

I loved my time in the lakes quite possibly because I wasn't gambling and the scenery obviously helped. I lived just down the road in Bowness for about 6 year. I must try and go back this year.

KTF

Have you seen the price of blueberry' s though ?

Keep on keeping it out of the bookies' reach and you'll be able to treat yourself.

Blueberries can be a bit sour on their own. Suggest including them in a cheesecake or something.

BW,

CW

Hi Paul,

Thanks man 😉 appreciate your thoughts. Truly wanted to apologise for the misunderstanding we had good few weeks ago! Who knew that one word in front of another can make complete difference to googling the site 😀 lol..i got it right now so all is cool!

I do like your thoughts and i do like you as a person. Yup..of course i had my little bumps with you (don't i with you all 😉 ) but i truly admire you for who you are!

I shall look for more outside help as you suggested. Gotta face myself one day don't i. It's tirening to think about that but after last few weeks i think it's necessary..how long can person go having dark thoughts? They just feed deeper into despair and i don't want to go yet...don't know...nahhhhh..not yet..i give a little shot at my life.

As always, offer for a swap stands 😉 ..lincs vs Lundin....cmonn.....ya know how these lands calling ya lol...& city is calling me also 😉

Stay safe, behave, keep random thoughts flowing and keep on keeping on..you're an inspiration!

Together we stand....like an army ☺

S x

Great point about GA. Think it would benefit me in the same way. It's when, not if I go. Expectations are not too high about GA, that's not a bad thing, at worst it'll be a experience to learn from.

Agree with your lottery philosophy.

Good to have someone on the forum who understands what it's like living with a speech problem.

I wasn't looked after very well as a child. I was put-down by children and adults. Forever the outcast, I didn't stand up, I gave up and isolated myself - only felt safe alone. Thought gambling could provide me with the dream life of never having to speak again. Probably it was just easier to believe that. Mentally it was too much.

Gambling left me homeless. I could either curl up and die in the cold, under a bridge or try to ask for help. That's what it took for me to speak again. Crazy. Made an idiot of myself more than a few times trying to speak again - which had almost become an alien concept to me.

That's going to be difficult for people to understand.

Didn't have your fighting spirit. I clung onto my comfort until I realised that I had no comfort to cling onto left.

Speaking went generally well. It wasn't like it was as a kid. People have been good to me. I really have been very lucky.

Think we've both found that what we feared - being forced out our comfort zone - is what we needed. In the absence of any silver platters, it's the only way anyone will progress in life.

Speech problems just make it that bit harder.

Summed up nicely by a Dutch proverb...HA...not really, but I do have a Swedish one: "fear may force a man to cast beyond the moon."

And don't we know it!

Keep casting.

Just popping by to say hello....I've been kind of awol from here lately...but wanted to say that there's been a lot in your recent posts to bring a smile to my face. Not a "oh that's funny" smile, more of a "he's really getting it" kind of smile. There's been some good nuggets in there which I'm glad you've shared. I'm loving Glint's proverbs.

I hope the preparations for the move are going well and that life is being kind. Not my business I know, but I was wondering if you rescheduled some therapist appointments for April?...just checking 🙂

Laters, LB x

Thanks for dropping by V, xxx

Take care and keep safe

Suzanne xxx