Doubting myself

For the past year I have been doing 'controlled gambling'. It hasn't worked for me. When I won, I got excited and bet more and then lost it back. When I lost I tried chasing my losses and lost more. Either way I lost. If I didn't have my controls in place (my wife has bank account, credit and debit cards), I would now be in dire straits. I only bet with my pocket money. I am determined in 2022 to let gambling go for good.

Sorry to say but you need to stop completely, I know you might think you are different but all you are doing is justifying why you need to bet and to prove to your partner that it’s ok when the reality is you have to bet because you are a compulsive gambler and can’t control the urges, at the end of the day it’s your choice but going by experience and all the stories I read day In day out you are only going one way , do you ever really win ? Anyway good luck whatever you chose and as I said it’s just my opinion and your choice , but maybe admitting you are a gambler is harder than you think , I thought it was the hardest part 

Posted by: Don1993

Okay so, I am gamble free in my own mind. I still bet but in a controlled way that like helps me get my fix. Many people disagree that this is a success but in my own mind and opinion I am in a good place so who cares what way I got here. But here’s the issue. My partner is so understanding. Almost too much. She agrees I do need that tiny tiny bet once a week to keep me where I am. But when I get a drink or feel confident enough talking about my past with gambling. The more I convince myself that it was easy or should have been easy to stop. I know this isn’t true because it is the absolute hardest thing iv ever done. But it’s almost like I am trying to ruin that achievement for myself even though it is the thing I am proudest of. Anyone else ever have these self destructive or demoralising thoughts about their success over gambling?

Hi Don,

I can absolutely relate to what you are saying, entirely.

I myself still am not completely gamble-free, though nothing like what I used to do (i.e. try to destroy my life everyday through betting).

I don't recommend this approach, stopping is much better. But, it is also much harder and self-destroying in other ways too for some who try to stop fully. For those who say only stopping entirely is the only option, well Gamcare itself does support controlled gambling in some cases. Whether you or I are one of those is the question - maybe, maybe not.

The point is you are reporting your negative responses to stopping altogether, and those are still valid experiences for your life. One thing I would add is that any of us problem gamblers who keep doing any of it, at all, are treading very dangerous ground. That entails full realisation of all dangers involved. 

I would suggest neither extreme is fully correct for all cases. Some deal with abstinence better than others. It is something that can be and should be considered.