Dread reading the bank statements

Hi deb66, welcome. I'm glad u decided to join this forum and get help with this horrible addiction that cripples us. I know the feeling you have every morning, I still have them even though it's been a few days since I lost 4k at the fobts. You'll have to find your strength to be honest with yourself and those close to you. Also try to use some barriers to block your access to gambling like the k9 software if you play online. Also when your craves hit, hit back reading the stories in here just a reminder of what gambling does. All the best deb and good luck

Hi Deb

Firstly welcome to this site! Recovery does take time and is a journey rather than a destination. Stick around for some time and give yourself a chance. Might be worth keeping hold of the bank statements and next time you feel like a gamble take a peek at them. My advice would be to get some road blocks in place. Get excluded from your gambling haunts and it gives you some take up time when the urges arise. Some people argue that you need to be honest with your partner etc but it is an individual choice. What I would say is be honest with yourself. Question everything you do as you'll see what triggers you off into a gambling episode. Speak to Gamcare and get some practical tips of how to stay stopped. It isn't easy to start with so stick close to your diary and read and write as much as you can. There is no right or wrong way to do this but you will see a pattern if you hang around. Hope you feel better in a few days when the red mist lifts

Take care

Thank you both so much for your support and advice. I am reading the journals on here and just having someone like you guys saying what you have has helped. i will log on each day. I am fighting the urges now by reading whats on here. I have managed to block my computer last week but need to block my daughters as I have gone on to hers to gamble on the slots. thanks for your help as it has helped

If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired you'll hang around! Recovery isn't all doom and gloom and it isn't a bed of roses. Just try to accept that you cannot gamble safely and need to stay away from it to have some sort of normality in your life. It gets easier as you go along!

Thank you all for your support. This is day one. I had the demon in my head saying go on the slots and I could feel my will getting weak and I nearly gave in but then I came on here instead. So if I stick through the rest of the night on here then I have done day one. Its funny but my boss asked me today if I was having any problems as my work had suffered. I thought how can I tell you yes, I am worried about how much debt if have run up with gambling and that I spend my days worrying about my bank telling me they want to call my overdraft in as I have gambled on line. Anyhow day one and hopefully will get through day two

Well done debb66 on coming too the site. Once you admit you have a problem there is no going back. Once a problem always a problem. Once you chase your winnings it's game over. You start upping the stakes an doing things you wouldn't normally as you gambling under pressure. You can do this without telling anyone. I have, but you need too be determined an want too stop. You have a chance too sort things don't let it get too a stage you can't fix it. Good luck stay strong, keep on site a posting an commenting 🙂

Well done Deb

It is tricky to beat that first urge but once you do it becomes a habit over time that you learn to get over instead of cave in. The urges are powerful so that is why I have blocks in place to give me some take up time. Keep moving forward even though we do so at a slow pace our progress is a miracle for us as gambling is our bad habit we have to kick

Day two. I still crave to go on the slots and came home from work again and almost instinctively went to the computer to log on the gambling website. I have put my blocks in place and told my husband I have a gambling problem /addiction. He suspected I had. I was grilled on how much i had lost but I wouldn't tell him at that point., I just sort of skirted around it. I can't bring myself to tell him how much I lost. I can't bear to think about it but its my debt and I will work my way out of it over the next few years. I just can get over how quickly I got addicted and how it took over my life. I was even gambling the slots on Christmas Day, would turn the sound down on the computer and have a few other screens open so I could just switch over in case the husband saw me. Friday is going to be the biggy day for me- this is when i rush in from work and start playing the slots. Its been crossing my mind all day, why not have a go on Friday as a treat for a hard week at work. Thank God for this site as its keeping me focused and this journal really is helping me to focus. Just got to keep these urges under control and ignore the demon in my head saying "go on just have one go"

Good for you Deb, it takes time for everything to settle including the red mist. Just keep moving forward and recovery will get easier. Your life will return to where you want it to. Try speaking to Netline and maybe get a little counselling! I promise it helps tremendously.

Take care

hi deb

I could have written your last post myself a few weeks ago! I was always trying to hide the online slots! Even when i went to land bingo and came home 4 hours after bingo had finished (slots) I would make some cr** up about meeting a friend and staying to chat! I also didnt tell my other half about how much I have lost as I feel that would not benefit anyone. I did tell him I had a problem though and that I have stopped because I was addicted. The urges were there a lot the first week but each week they are getting less and less. I have to find other things to do in the evenings when I am on my own (kids in bed& hubby works nights) and I have struggled but not given in. I have read books, watched lectures on CG, learnt a lot about astrology- I know random! Anything is better than going back on to one of them sites- anything! Anyway on friday plan a night out with some friends or make a nice but difficult dinner for both of you or just find something to take your mind off what you normally do. You dont do what you used to anymore, you are a winner now you have stopped so dont go back there, not for anything.

All the best

x linda

Hi Deb,

Thank you for sharing your last post and i can relate to it a lot.This addiction makes us secretive and it loves us to isolate and "run away " from reality. It keeps telling us that there is a answer in any trouble we have to deal with - just that one spin/punt...we all know it is not ending there...we can't stop..any win is not enough..why to start? Logic is there, always inside us, but that demon on our shoulder always tries to prove us otherwise.

Well done for fighting back. Recovery is bespoke and every day you abstain from this habit - you are winning the fight. That's all it takes, just day at a time. Urges comes and goes, they are only thoughts...you don't have to act on them.

Keep urself occupied and busy, you might even find new hobies or interests on ur way in this recovery.

You can do it, believe in yourself!! You are worth it!! 🙂

Take care and all the best

Sandra x

Thank you Sandra, Smiler and Hardtimes your support really helps. This is the dreaded Friday night- the lure of the slots has been in and out of my head all day. The hubby is normally out on a Friday night but has decided to stay in I think to keep an eye on me in case i sneak on the computer even though the blocks are in place except for the phone. This road is so hard and I feel really low. Stupid is it not that slot machines have this effect. I will take your advice and keep occupied. If I can do one weekend then I can do another

Hi Deb

Just take it really easy and don't be too hard on yourself. Try and get some blocker on the phone as you seem very aware that it is a door ajar!

Take care