This is just a quick message that I hope will potentially inspire others to keep going. 181 days ago I hit a new rock bottom I’d never think I’d go to - I borrowed money off of a family member and gambled over a thousand of my own money, funded through expensive pay day loans that have essentially crippled me for six months. Six months later I’ve made my final pay day loan payment with the other two dropping off the month before and the money situation is now, unsurprisingly a lot more manageable. My message to anyone reading this who, like me, feels they are in a helpless situation is simple - keep your head down, focus on the end goal and  remember with each passing day that comes and goes you are one step closer to that final payment. Additionally, if you can’t afford the loans that you have taken out there are options. Speak to step change as they will help you to negotiate how you can settle you debts perhaps over a longer period of time but with payments that are more affordable however bear in mind that these arrangements can severely affect your credit score. Of course seek your own financial advice I can only talk for myself.
Your story is identical to mine. I recently borrowed money off of a friend with the intention of paying back some of the payday loans and credit cards I took out to feed my addiction. I payed a minimum amount and then used the money to fund my habit. I also used money that was meant to be going into joint account to feed my habit. I have finally realised that I can’t do this anymore and admitted my addiction to my other half. It’s going to be testing. It’s going to be hard but reading your story helps me realise that there is a way out as long as I’m open and honest I know I can do it.Â
Thank you for your message and your honesty. It takes a lot of courage telling someone close to you. It’s the best thing I ever did. It was actually a relief. It can feel so lonely at times but you will get through this. If it helps I see these experiences as necessary spiritual journeys that we have to go on to rid ourselves of the rot of gambling addiction. A caterpillar has struggles to rid itself of the comfort of its cocoon but once it frees itself it is able to fly freely in the endless open space it surrounded by. I am not saying that being crippled by gambling and thus the pay day loans was enjoyable but it took away my pride, my money, my freedom to do anything and required me to take a long hard look at myself. Gambling hasn’t won this time and it never will again. The sickening feeling I had on that cold lonely morning when I woke up penniless will never leave me.
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@londoneye that's how I feel now! I have nothing left and 2 weeks to payday I have borrowed off all my friends and family and when I get paid when I've paid everyone back I have nothing left so then I have ti borrow again and instead of using the money for essentials I try and win but it rarely works so then I owe more. I don't know how to stop myself. I have barred myself and Gamstop but I've found off shore casinos and its just got worse. Can software stop offshore? I know I'm going to be awake all night worrying and I am making myself ill. I don't see an end to it. It's good to know its not just me inwish there was a magic button to turn off the compulsion x
Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing. Well done for taking this hugely brave decision and joining Gamstop self-exclusion scheme. Here is a free Gamban blocking software link which is designed to block you from accessing Worldwide gambling content on your devices:Â
https://www.Gamban.com/gamcare Â
Feel free to contact our 24/7 live chat or helpline (0808 8020 133) if you would like to discuss further support around your gambling.Â
kind regards,Â
Tom (forum admin)Â
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