Easy does it!

Hi Smiler,

Just wanted to congratulate you on your continued success in recovery.

Take care,

f x

Many thanks for the words of support and encouragement I wish you all well in your recovery and keep posting as I read as much as I can.

Something has gotten me thinking lately and that is, have I wasted my time with gambling for X amount of years. There are 2 answers to this. If I use the knowledge I have of addiction and move forward then the time could have been better spent but I have to accept that I can do nothing about it and realise I am who I am. Secondly if I went back to gambling then my time has been wasted and more time on top. Conclusion I have come to is I am a better person for the experience and acceptance of being an addict. Hopefully I can move forward in my own recovery and keep passing on the message of recovery. Take care

We are coming up to the time of year where we are going to read heart breaking stories on this site about people spending all their Xmas cash. Please do not fall in to the trap of trying to win extra money to have a better Xmas. Be content with what you have and enjoy the company etc you are with. There is a lot of added pressure on people this time of year so watch out for the demons sitting on your shoulder. Take care

Just a message to myself!!

Hi Smiler,

Cheers for taking the time to post on my diary, so just been having a catch up with yours. I try and read as many diaries as poss, but i generally try and read and post the new ones. Not that many hang around, but i feel a duty to offer support and reading the new diaries puts gambling into perspective and reminds you of where we were when we decided to enter recovery.

I bought my daughter loads of presents last year with gambling winnings, be so much sweeter this year with money i've earned and i won't be quite as extravagant with my money!!

I agree with you about repayment/non repayment debts if i understand what you have done/doing. I'm hoping mine will be gone in a year or two according to an adviser.

Anyway, well done in your continued recovery. Take care and most of all stay gamble free.

Keith

I'm sure this addiction is an obsession with money. Or at least it stems from there. I checked my bank yesterday and didn't have as much as I thought in there. I then went on a downer for the wholeof the afternoon and usually that would send me into a gambling binge. I have thought it through logically and realise there is nothing I can do about it apart from work and put more in. I am inpatient to pay my credit card off and everything else. It is all about money and wanting more. Incidentally I realised this morning where the money went so felt better after that as well. Money is a big trigger for me though. Maybe not having any as a child I wanted different as an adult. At present I am in a worse position than my parents. However I am slowly getting there and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have the rest of my life to get this recovery right so in no rush at all. Take care

Thank you for your message. Today I am a bit fragile , which is to be expected.

As for the money thing, it is what is . Try not to let it get to you. Read something interesting yesterday on a thread about, drug addicts ect not focusing on the money they paid just the time lost because of there addiction. And that this was the money we spent on the addiction we have. So basicly we spent it, not lost it.

I for one will not be spending any more on this addiction.

Take CAre

J.f.T

Kaza

Hi Smiler, very interesting your thoughts on the gambling being an obsession with money and wanting more. Thats certainly a big part of it I think though not the whole story.

My view is that it depends on how you were brought up and the "value" placed on money and having money for monies sake. I remember many years ago my dad saying to me " the more money you have the happier you are".. so the belief was installed in me that money ='s happiness... fullstop. But the reality of my life is that i have never known what it is like to have money, so my sub-concious probably says "you must feel very unhappy".

I'd like to think that ive moved on from that way of thinking but when i discovered the other day that i would be getting less money in my pay packet than i thought.. it sent me into a real tail spin that i am only today beginning to come to terms with and recover from. Indeed its things like this or getting an unexpected bill or having to pay money for something unexpected.. that are some of my biggest triggers to gambling.

I remmber times of walking around with a bunch of notes in my pocket after a lucky win and feeling happy and secure only then to lose it and feel so unhappy and insecure that i wanted to die.... and all in the space of 20 minutes!! Is money the route of all evil i ask myself.

Anyways i leave it their.. thanks for your considered thoughts... they really do help.. regards.. S.A 🙂

Yes, I really do think that there are plenty of links with gambling and an obsession with money.

I just wonder how many of us on here loved Maths as a subject in school and loved to be able to hoard a whole lot of coins before throwing it all away unnecessarily.

There are a lot of us on here (if not everyone) who really do value money and would go out of their way to save a few pennies by buying the latest bargain. But on the other hand, we would think nothing of wasting hundreds of pounds in an hour on a FOBT.

Madness, eh?

GT

Hi Guys

Good to get responses from people. There are no correct answers just viewpoints I think. A strange thing happened to me today. I got a puncture antd was mad because it would cost me money to get it fixed. After gettting it fixed I paid the £13 repair bill with my debit card and yet I had plenty of cash in my pocket. I think it is the old habit of hoarding cash coming back at me. I'll be down the bank tomorrow to bank the cash. This will drive me mad if I let it so I have to move on in my recovery. Only trouble is I know not where. Take care everyone!

People are really annoying me today and messing me about. My first instinct is go and have a bet. I am stronger nowadays and will wait till I cool down a little. I have been reading alot about people pleasing on this forum lately and I, too, am a big people peaser. Today I am getting stronger and other people don't like it. That's there problem not mine. I'm not aggressive just not putting up with other people's rubbish!

Knock me down with a feather, the person I was just ranting about has just fallen into line and everything is tickety-boo. Just got the economy of the UK to sort now! Should take a little longer.

Thank you for your post. Great to hear that you are taking a tougher line. Talking about people pleasing, my boss spoke to me earlier in the year about the monkey on my back. She gave me some article about it. So it works like this .

At the time we were going through a major refurb and a junior manager complained about the dust. Myself and the GM get buckets of water and cloths and clean as if our lives depend upon it. Did the said manager help did she heck as like. Once completed the junior manager says well it will just as bad tomorrow. Me being me says don't worry I will come in early and sort it . My boss just utters the word monkey to me.

Monkey on your back is about taking on too much taking on other peoples responsibility. As managers we problem solve but at times we problem solve when other people should be doing it. This is not because we have not empowered them it is that they leave it to us. As people pleasers we compile , not intentionally it just works out that way.

Hope that I have not bored you with my thoughts, just thought you might be interested

Thought of the day, monkey or gorilla

Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Kaza

Thanks Kaza

I'll sit and think about this for an hour or so! Also I did the right thing today and the person stepped into line. Then the good news appeared through my accountant. The taxman owes me a considerable amount of money. Not enough to square my debts or anything but at least I don't owe them and the money I had tucked away can go to paying CC debt. As I said earlier though I can't get too high on this as it scares me and I get carried away. Hope everyone has a good weekend and keep posting. Remember our feelings are running high this time of year so be on your guard when you are out and about. You will never win just purchase more time if you play FOBTs.

Yipee came to mind, anything that takes the presure off.

Have a great weekend,

Kaza

Great news about your unexpected bonus.

Just make sure that you deal with it in the right way when it does come.

GT