Just in from work and boy has it been busy. Price you pay for taking a few days off. Not complaining though and looking forward to July for another one. Gambling thoughts just bouncing around as usual but they'll disperse when they are ready I do not care about them as they cannot hurt me. Hope everyone is in a good space right now, if not ride the waves and it will get better. Will catch up with everyone in due course. Take care and thanks for popping by!
Speaking with a friend of mine, who is alot younger than me, on Friday. He was telling me how he cannot control his gambling on roulette machines in bookies and he has told a pack of lies to his girlfriend and used me as an alibi. I disclosed that I was a bad gambler but solved it by self excluding. I also pointed out that I thought I was a sensible gambler until FOBTs came in to bookies. Truth is I had a problem before these machines. The FOBTs just accelerated the problem and to be honest I am slightly glad they came along as it made me realise quickly I cannot gamble safely. This lad will learn the hard way and it is his sole path to tread. Compulsive gambling is exactly what it is. We kid ourselves if we think we can pick and choose. It all comes down to the old saying "A little ten or twenty won't hurt"!
Take care
Hi Spooky Smiler,
It reminds us how far we have come, when we listen to the bizarre logic and workings of a gamblers mind, and can't believe how nuts it is!
Use it as motivation, which I know you will. None of us want to be that desperate nutter, ever again! It is interesting what you say about FOBT's - I feel exactly the same about online bingo. I had already had a problem with bandits for years, but the online bingo made me realise how crazy my gambling could get, very quickly.
Take care,
f x
smiler. Thanks for the black and white picture once again. Honestly today it helped my day enormously. Amazing the impact your simple posts have. Thanks duncs compulsive gambler no bet today.
Hi Smiler, thank u 4 ur support on my diary 🙂
U r doing brilliant!
U should be sooo proud of urself 🙂
Stay strong and keep going 🙂
So very very true.
I gambled all my adult life. Probably more than I should have, but never lost controll to the extent of lying, taking out loans., stealing from the joint account , and not telling Oh..
Until I started playing FOBTs, ......
Dusty xxxxxx
Hey Smiler
Thankyou for the post just trying to stay positive in the face of negative things around me and no matter what gambling will not help.
Stay Strong
E xx
Anybody reading these forums for te first time, please hang around long enough to give yourself a chance. If after a few weeks it isn't for you then you can go back to your old ways. I have been through many ups and downs here and I've hung on in terrible times to see it is worth it in the end. Never give up giving up! Take care
Your problem isn't as bad as you think
£20 won't hurt
It'll be different this time
Only take a limited amount with you and there's no damage done
Self exclusion is too much hassle as there are lots and lots of bookies
You have learned your lesson so you can gamble sensibly
Your luck will be differently this time round
All the above are things that used to run through my mind before I went back to gambling. Now I recognise them and I have a choice. Today I choose not to get sucked back into the misery I was used to. In fact I believe I liked the misery as it felt part of my make up. I felt comfortable feeling down and everything against me. Today I don't have any of that and just for today I don't want it! Take care
HI Smiler,
I had the same thoughts yesterday but I know its my addiction trying to drag me back., I made the right choice yesterday and just for today i will not gamble.
Blondie day 53
Morning
Oh so true. I would add one thing.
That when I decided that £20 would be ok. That it would be different this time and everything you said.
I meant it , with every part of my being. Even as I crossed the threshold , I truly believed that I would only spend £20 . But then it was like being transported into another place. One that I did not believe I would be transported to again. Could not stop this happening.
Once I was in front of that machine it was like getting on a train with no stops, no emgercy cord nothing.
Just on this journey , £20 . Then £40 then £100 got to keep going £400 ........... £700 , the end of the line.
No more money to fuel the journey. Walk back over the threshold and be shocked, total shocked to the core. How did that happen, how did £20 turn into £700 .think the answer was getting on the train in the first place.
Think I wil stick to walking from now on lol
Dusty xxxxxxxx
So true Dusty and well put!
Weekend just gone I was convinced, if I were gambling, I could win money. This preyed on my mind for ages and ages. It involved golf and football. After the events not one came in and I pondered on this for some time. How could something so sure come unstuck. I came to the conclusion the odds compilers are very clever people and suck CGs in. I'm pleased I never gave in and was never really in any danger. Hopefully I will forget about gambling in due course but it is still there. Best thing is it is where I want it!
Take care
Hi Smiler,
Quick flyby to say hi and thankyou for posts for which i havent replied sorry.
You sound like your in a good place and getting those urges and thoughts right where you want them.:0)
Stay Strong
E xx
Got a new credit card through the other day as my old one expired. Been carrying it around in my wallet like every brilliant CGs secret. Why have I done this. I guess it is the secretive life I used to live. I am just about to cut it up as I don't need it. I told my wife last night that I have it so the power of the secret has gone. Feel a whole lot lighter this morning as it was playing on my mind. No secrets is my key to taking away the power that gambling has over me or did have should I say.
Take care
Good morning Smiler,
Funny how we travel along this road, but still clutch on to a tiny part of our CG behaviour .
Why do we that? Does that addiction have hidden roots ?
Good for you today, it warms my heart to hear that you feel lighter, anther brick in the wall, in fact a whole layer added.
Take care
Dusty xxxxxxxxx
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