Easy liВЈe/ fast liВЈe Dervkidd

Hi diary, today I feel good... Although it wasnt long ago that I lost control, I feel like I am bouncing back... Stronger than ever. Finally, I spoke to a counsellor and he told me that; "A gambling addict is never cured and always in recovery, like an alcoholic that cant touch the next drink". The thing is I told him I disagree, for the reason thay, I can and will BEAT IT!

Have faith.

9 days ago I gambled.

Today however I feel back to my old self.. Sometimes I believe we have been brainwashed about many things. The subconscious mind is something that only needs a snippet of information for us to act upon it sometime in the future. Keep calm is my advice. Read a book. I am reading YOU FOREVER atm Lobsang Rampa...Interesting and amazing.

Peace & Love

It is evident that I am on the road back to where I should be....Relax, deep breath and say gambling is wrong. Repeat it until it meets your sub conscious....Done, you are cured!!

Lol derv, cured :)) great to see you back on track, 12 days today ( if my adding up is correct lol) well done you, you are winning again, not that hideous addiction.

Suzanne xxx

Hi diary,

Thanks Suzanne for the wonderful post.

Sometimes people drive you too far and it may be an excuse to gamble at someone else's misery. That is the problem for myself I believe, on top of course wanting more money to solve problems. Therefore, it all goes back to not feeling like being able to deal with problems and we think money can only solve it. On the other hand, if you just like gambling then I suppose it is a slightly different matter.

peace.

29 Days gamble free..

must say since my last episode, I have had considerable withdrawal symptoms...I heard those b*****d machines are going to be reconsidered at a £2 maximum stake...The government has corruption and blood on its hands..

50 days... A new milestone

Not sure what is going to happen next, however, a considerable amount of things have happened since I last gambled.

Stress levels at the moment are on the rise. Dont like to say but my body was telling me to go and gamble the other day. I managed to come to my senses. Everything is telling me that I am constantly wasting my time, at work, home or for future. How long does it take to fulfil the challenges that we face? It seems like we are going around in circles and gambling gives you that feeling of being alive when there is a stake present, which may determine your future (usually in the short fall)... That's the reality ...

Sos I missed congratulating you on that lovely 50 milestone derv, so a massive well done to you is here now lol.

Understand what you are saying, maybe changes should start now, even if they are small, at least you won't feel like you are on a roundabout lol.

You are probably feeling a lot less stressed by now :)) as our moods change like the weather:))

Well done again, just keep pushing forwards and keep strong and on guard.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks Suzanne,

You have been following my progress, it is quite an important part of my recovery to have that inspiration in the background, hence why it means so much to me. Thanks again.

I am now finally in the job market and started a new career recently. I am very happy to be respected and involved in new things. However, I still feel I am not reaching my potential and a bit frustrated and stressed knowing I am capable of so much more, but dont know everything I need to at the same time. This type of pattern I have is definitely a trigger for gambling. You see, gambling is a coping mechanism for the unknown...

Good luck with your recovery!!

60 Days ago I was in pieces, 60 days later my life has changed...

I am now in new employment and things are looking up.

The devil is even closer now that I consider myself on top again. It just takes that first pound (spin) and I'd have thrown it all away again. I hope that someone out there is listening? Take it as a harsh lesson, guys I've lost in excess of £50k in a short period. The biggest concern is the time wasted trying to make money that I already had. Not to mention the destructive behaviour and panic/ anxiety, arguements self loathing, worthlessness, and last but not least,having no money.

Is it worth it?

No way!!

Beat it.

up 2 105 days. Still contemplating that gamble from time to time. LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE!!! say it to yourself.

Well yesterday I did a silly thing, you guessed it...Gambled, got up to 106 days then broke it off...Just back from 17 day holiday, guess feeling down? Tried booze..Then my partner had a face on her, slipped out took £50 to bookies, won £800 then lost £1900.... The guy in the bookies realised I was self excluded at the last moment; what a surprise...Now I am resetting the clock and trying to beat my addiction once again.

Hi diary...

Wow, it has been such a long time.... I just realised I have this forum and it is gambling therapy, which, of course, I need to continue to keep going in the right direction. My life seems like it is already upside down but somehow I am managing to get by. I have had 3-4 sessions of counselling and I must say it is important. I wrote about something that occured today and thought I'd share as much as I can with you;

I came out of work, a car was parked so pathetically close to mine and it was blocking me access side by side, door-to-door!!!Grr!!! Out the corner of my eye, I could see a smirk on the security gaurds face and could feel my temper rising as I tried to sum up how I'm going to get into my drivers seat. I even said to a work friend, "This place is full of haters!" I was really upset "I don't know the reason and I don't care" I thought aloud to myself. I pushed the wing mirror back as if I wanted to look like I had no respect, because of what the offender had done. I finally managed to squeeze into the car. I got home muttering,

"I have had a bad day!" ....Was it a bad day?

Gamble free 57 days

...

Hi,

I am seemingly doing well at work...Or am I? Who knows... Anyway, I think the same as the sophisticated crowd but something is disturbing my mind. I thought about the life of Vincent Van Gogh....It was a deep thought ...There was this special guy right? (him) that was ignored for everything, by everyone....Right up until his death...

Everyone wants to be a manager, everyone wants power, to rule and empower others!.. To succeed, have everything and be loved.... I guess sometimes it is too painful to be happy...Anyway, gambling fits into being a winner...It is so weird that when I write all of this, I feel better....Definitely, keep writing, we need it, it programs our brains to be sensible! I totally have cracked it what triggers a relapse LACK OF, WRITING ABOUT IT!!!!!! ((((((WRITE ABOUT IT))))))

One love.

Hi,

I never realised that gambling will throw your life into turmoil once you cease to do it...Yes, things are going well, however, I feel like life is a struggle at the moment...Work is getting me down, Friday I nearly walked out, I'm frustrated with it all, I feel that I have been given an area of work that I do not fit into. on the other hand, I know I'm much more capable than what I can do...They are saying that I want too much, too fast! I agree...I do! Why not, they have it....Can't I?

Like I said, sometimes life isn't easy....Gambling, doesn't do you any favours either, just another form of escape from reality I suppose...

Easy life.