Hi Everyone,
Today is the day I have decided enough is enough, the despair I feel right now it totally not worth it.
I am 29 years of age with a very steady job, a beautiful wife and an amazing 6 month old baby boy! My life couldn't be more perfect apart from the demon inside me that is gambling.
My biggest vice is (see, I am still in the gambling mentality, this should say WAS!) Blackjack, so easy to double your money very quickly and obviously lose stupid amounts also.
This leads me onto my story now, I have just lost £1200 on a credit card at blackjack online in the last 15 minutes of my dinner hour. Last week I lost another £1000 on another credit card, the feeling of despair last week lead me to this site where I vowed never to gamble again. This lasted a whole week before the curse struck again.
I have always enjoyed a flutter on horses, football, rugby etc and never had a problem until I discovered Blackjack! I have self excluded all my online accounts and decided that enough is enough.
Apologies for the rambling or if this is a bit disjointed, my head is currently in such a spin!
This is Day 1 = a fresh start
Ste
welcome mate - I am 30 have an amazing wife and a gorgeous baby girl who is two at Christmas! Similar story to yours! Take it day by day -carry a picture of your wife and child with you!!!
That's your motivation!
Thanks for your message bobby! I truly intend to beat this and like you say will take it one day at a time!
The motivation for my wife and baby boy is definitely there. I cant believe I have been stupid enough to forget this when I have been in my gambling coma!
I hope your story is having a happy ending!
Good luck man. Your family will be your motivation to beat this, keep posting. I think you lost that amount only a week after losing a grand because this addiction will Chase you into making more bad decisions due to previous losses. This is where you have to say that the money is gone and ain't coming back unless you want to lose everything dear to you. Don't blame yourself for what's gone, just work hard to get back what is lost and learn that gambling will always win, if we choose to allow it.
Thanks for your support heaven! Today is my first full day of trying to beat this addiction.
Currently sat in work and have already had numerous thoughts of placing this bet or placing that bet but so far have resisted the urge and have been reading other peoples recovery diaries!
I feel today is going to be a massive task to stay gamble free but to start with I am going to throw all my efforts into work whilst using my wife and baby boy as motivation!!
Heres to a gamble free day!
Ste
Well that's 24 hours since the horrible experience of yesterday! This time yesterday I was in a world of despair.
The thought of gambling has been in my head ever since but writing in this diary really seems to help and been reading other diaries for the last hour and they have been amazingly helpful!
Gud luck rex and keep going we all gotta do this together....think about getting k9 blocker, its free and gets rid of that trap door that is left open if you don't put a blocker on. I'm on day 3 after gambling for about 13 years....I'm 28 and if I can do it now it would be better than still being in this horrible situation and have lost thousands more in years to come....best of luck on your recovery 🙂
Thank you for your support Jillfe, you are so right about blocking software.
Yesterday I installed betfilter straight onto my computer which has helped massively.
I have self excluded myself from all online sites also. I have been thinking all morning about which sites I haven't registered on previously and therefore setting up new accounts which I have resisted to do so far! I need to stop and stop now!
I totally agree about we are still young and if we don't stop now I dread to think what situation we could find ourselves in many years down the line!
I wish you well on your recovery also and together we will beat this demon!
Well unfortunately I am back to square one again and I caved in and had a disastrous night back on Blackjack!!! I feel so ashamed of myself and am totally annoyed with myself.
Got through all night and then just before I went to bed I decided 25 quid on my phone would be ok and as you know the rest is history.
Woke up this morning feeling very gutted about what I have done and with it being the 1st November and the Christmas Challenge now starting I want to kick this habit in the teeth!!
A very deflated Ste
Welcome to the thread mate, the welcoming message is a little late but better late than never. The gambling world is horrible and changes the real you. It offers many things but delivers the opposite. It delivered pain, worry, stress and so many more bad things. Hope the thread can help. Take it slow keep up the fight and see you at the next check in!
Just looked at your latest post and although I posted after yours somehow I never saw that post - d**n phones!! Well all I can say is never give up giving up! You gotta learn from your mistakes and put in barriers to help stop you gambling. Stick to this site it might not always stop you gambling - it takes a lot but it keeps you motivated. Keeps your mind on your goals and makes sure that even with a few bumps in the road you still end up going in the right direction. Take care and be good to hear from you soon.
Hi Dave, thanks for your post and support, I have just noticed this myself!
I can confirm that I am now 6 days gamble free, I got through my first weekend in god knows how long without placing a single bet. This was extremely difficult, especially with the rugby league, football and then boxing at night.
The good thing is I didn't hide from watching the sport, I sat there watching, thinking how good this is without having bets placed here there and everywhere. It was very refreshing.
Next count down now is 7 tomorrow!
Ste
Officially hit day 7 now and feeling determined to beat this demon!!
I am in the process of setting up a debt management plan at the moment so I am quite pleased about that. A few sleepless nights recently should start to become a thing of the past.
Been reading a few diaries this morning and read about a few relapses after the 1 or 2 week mark so I can safely say that thanks to these diaries I am not feeling complacent in the slightest.
Just determined to keep my head down and moving on to a brighter, better future with my wife and boy!
Ste
Day 8 now done and moving onto day 9.
First time in a few days I was actually tempted to place a bet on the champions league football last night but thankfully the urge passed!
Today I will not gamble!
Ste
Officially hit the 2 week and 14 day mark! Must admit I am very pleased to have reached this point gamble free.
Had a thoroughly enjoyable weekend with the family which ended up with a visit to Manchester Christmas markets yesterday.
One thing I found was how refreshing it was to spend time with my family without having to check my phone every 2 minutes waiting for the horse racing results! Which in turn didn't lead to the misses asking me what am I doing on my phone all the time!
Determined to beat this and determined not to get complacent so time to read a few diary entries I think!
Ste
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