facing my fears

Merry Christmas to everyone! And a big thankyou to all who have supported, advised and encouraged me since my first post on here. Don't know what I would have done without the support of the Gamcare gang!

This no gambling train is certainly the right one to be on - so jump aboard and stay on it and you WILL get where you want to be!!

Merry Christmas to you also, have a good one.

Have booked my seat on the gamblefree express..Heading to a much better future.

Takecare

Hi Lili.

Thanks so much for your post on my diary.

I wish you all the best for the new year and for a great gamble-free 2011.

Hope 2011 is a great year for you Lili.

Seano.

Well. Diary. Think you deserve a wee post today! As tomorrow will be 6 months (calendar months) since my last game of poker. I'm feeling good and life is so much better than those crazy, unhappy days when poker ruled!

I'm off to Gran Canaria tomorrow morning for a week with my husband to relax and enjoy some time together.

Did not think at one time my life would ever be good again and couldn't see a way out.

But God is merciful and has our welfare at heart so praise and thanks to Him I'm able to be gamble free!

Thanks to everyone who have helped and encouraged me, and hope I can encourage and help others.

There is life after gambling 🙂

well done lili keep up the good work, fight the good fight you will win.

Hello Diary, it's been a while.

Remembered today why I came on here in the first place (sometimes I forget about the hell I was in while playing poker as my life is far removed from that now)

Last time I posted on here was just before my holiday, which was cut short by a day as my father in law died, and we had to leave and get flights to Italy for the funeral. Cost a lot of money and left us skint, but had to be done. Quite a stressful time but been home now for over a week.

Tonight my husband asked me if I wanted to go and play poker, funny as a wee playing poker thought had crossed my mind only 5 minutes earlier. Thankfully, I didn't have enough money anyway... but quite troubling that the thought was definitely there..especially knowing that winning some money would be a real help at the moment. All the reasoning that actually what would be the big deal ( pun not intended) of a wee game, might be fun bla bla bla came into my head. I had to balance those thoughts with the memory and knowledge that poker took me down and made my life hell and I don't want that again. We need to be so strong at times to beat this stupid thing as it seems to try all sorts to lure us back. Unfortunately it's my husband who should be doing his best to keep me away from it who is tempting me back.

Still, one of us has to be strong and he doeasnt really realise what he is doing.

Feeling annoyed that I was tempted.. but then we will always be tempted I guess. It's about resisting when the temptation comes.

Hi Lili.

Well done on resisting any temptation you may have felt to play poker. I know only too well from my initial attempts at recovery that it takes only one little lapse to take you right back to your old gambling self.

Life is so much better when we do not gamble. Never let yourself think otherwise!

Well done on your continued recovery.

Great to hear from you lili and that youve logged what couldve set you off on a gambling spree 😉 the diaries are MUCH changed these days,i dont post as much myself but still use my diary as a useful asset...best wishes we can do this 😉

Lili

Sorry for speaking in "riddles" tonight but didn't want to seem like i was trying to mention the positives that sometimes comes from gambling. As think some folks cant face up to certain facts, especially if new in trying to stay quit? Not talking about financially but also about the "kudos" that gambling can bring? Sometimes it is not even about the money but the "prestige" of showing folks that you are a good poker player? You are someone that folks should sit up and take notice of?

Sometimes think we need to examine all areas of why we gambled and not just block out and forget the positives that came from it? As this might be the only way that folks can really face up to why they became a cg?

As I said earlier think your recovery is doubly hard and that is why I respect you so much.

RayG

ps and dont forget!!! Breakfast in bed for hubby monday morning. With a red rose on his tray. "De thorned" just in case he upsets you! lol

hi lil after your post on my diary i have spent the last hour and half reading your story from first post to last. wot a inspiration you are id love for you to follow and help me threw my recovery just pop in and keep a eye on my progress i feel your determination and spirit could really help me and your honesty through out is something someone like me would value. keep doing wot u do hun cause you have helped me just by sharing your story

love cathy

Lili

Sorry for the "back-handed" compliment in chat tonight about that advice you gave me many many months ago on the GA chat NOT to use my "free" bet. Sorry to say I ignored your genuine and sincere advice not to do so. And as you predicted i lost the "free" bet and was enticed to gamble further. But I learnt a very important lesson that night. Not least that your advice was spot on and i choose to ignore it. So I decided to change my ways. Something I will always be indebted to you for.

Anyway upwards and onwards! It's Valentines Day. Whatever you say about your hubby I genuinely believe he has a heart of gold. Maybe spare him a bit less of the "rod" and use a bit more of the "nurture"!!!!! Anyway, a track dedicated to "just the two of you", seeing as its Valentines Day!!!!!!

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oxb4LayC7A

Big Bruv Ray

ps maybe the album cover should have featured a glass of red wine rather than white? Seeing as it is dedicated to you? Hic

Aww, thankyou Ray. You're a gem xxx

Lili

Pleased you liked the track. Heres another. This time from Top of the Pops, September 1986. I know it is before your time?!!! But Cameo were a great group.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHAdfGlZHk4

RayG

Lili

Great to chat with you tonight. I relate to your philisophy in life. Heres a track for you that I was pratling on about earlier. OK might not be in the Rod Stewart league but has great lyrics to it! Although am sure "The Specials" were before your time? lol

Enjoy yourself!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2fupqLdYZw

But this is good as well? So apart from Alex Harvey a few other good groups have also come out of Scotland! lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vhebiuuLqU

All the best

RayG