facing my fears

Not posted so much as I have been working the last 8 days out of nine. 3 days off now - woo hoo!!

Not thinking about poker these days and not feeling anxious and stressed at the moment. Someone asked me the other day - what was I worried about? I thought.. what AM I worried about? And thinking about that, I realised that deep down I am not worried about anything, as I know everything will work out. All these anxious thoughts, nervousness, panicky feelings don't have any foundation. They just fool me into thinking I can't cope, but I can cope. I have been coping, but I'm coping better without the worry! Still problems are the same, but I feel so much calmer and if I do have to make any decisions about my work, I will be making them because I feel it's the right decision, not because I'm feeling all stressed out! I believe that faith is the answer for me in coping with stress, and boy does stress test your faith.

Looking forward to the weekend off work and hope the weather is good

Have church tomorrow - and lovely people to meet there. Thankful for that.Then will go out somewhere.

Have a good weekend everyone

Hi Lili,

Thanks for the post on my diary. Very good last post from you. Staying positive and realising that no mountain is un-climbable is a really big thing with coming to terms with this problem. It's also good to see that you can put faith in your faith. I'm not religious myself, although brought up RC, but can appreciate that having faith can help in these situations. Good on ya!! 🙂

Stay Strong

Steve

Thanks for your words of encouragement, Yorkie.

Looking forward to a nice Sunday off. My youngest son and his girlfriend are coming round for dinner and then we're going out to watch the world cup final, and have a few drinks. Not working tomorrow either so will be able to enjoy the night. No thoughts of wanting to play poker and have told my husband not to ask me again if I want to go play....but he might find that difficult when he wants to go. We'll see.

Stay focussed everyone - this is do-able and so worth the effort we have to make!

Hello Lili,

Thankyou very much for your post on my diary Lili, it is very much appreciated and welcome. I hope the rest of your weekend went well for you, and i'm happy that you are not as stressed out as you were. Your right what you say Lili this is "very do-able and so worth the effort we have to make!".

Stay strong Lili. 🙂

mrchaser

Not been posting as much -have no issues regarding poker playing at the moment. It feels like something in my past already and I don't have any desire to go playing again. I am aware that I could be tempted to play in the future, or have an urge out of the blue one day so I will try to be on my guard. But right now not playing is just how my life is, and doesn't seem like a struggle.

Other things, like work and making a decision about where I want to work are a struggle- manager has said I need to talk to her this week about what area I want to be in within my job. I'm not sure what I want to do yet. Have always found making important decisions difficult. I know I would like a change, but can't be giving up my job without another to go to. I don't like where I am working just now, so I think if I ask to be moved from there, that change will give me the time and chance to work out what I want to do.

Quite scary the thought of a total change of direction, but I'm having serious thoughts along those lines

Got to get up early, so off to bed soon

Stay focused away from gambling everyone

No gambling issues, no major worries, no depression, no anxiety ( well, always a wee bit of that for me, but I'm just ignoring it - and it seems to be taking the hint)

Know what I want from my job now - too busy to get chat with manager today, but will try tomorrow. Have 3 days off after tomorrow, so looking forward to the weekend.

Have not felt the need to post so much, but have been in chat and enjoyed that for the most part.

Been thinking of new hobbies to take up. Might try golf as my husband has asked me. I have had a morning on a driving range in Spain, my son teaching me. I liked it and he said I did really well for first time. Seems to be all about the technique in the swing thing! Maybe I'd enjoy it, but will need some lessons I think. But it would be good to have an interest to share with my man, not gambling related.

Concentrating on building my life with worthwhile activities - it's too precious to waste on something as destructive as gambling

Hi Lili, sorry not been in chat lately, thought would see how you were doing on here.

Glad to hear you have decided what yo want from work and are feeling a bit more positive!

A different hobby sounds like a good idea, good luck with the golf, never played properly myself, had a couple of goes on a driving range and played one round with a friend but would probably give it a proper go some time in the future.

All the best, hope your well!

Stay strong!

Ash

Keep up the good work Lili, you seem to be in a fairly good place at the moment. Have a nice 3 days off and watch the golf on telly, look how easy they make it look. lol

Take care,

Mark..

Had a very satisfying day at work. Need to have days like this now and again - just to remind me why I do my job!

Off now for 3 days. This week seems to have gone so quickly. Can't believe it's Friday night again. Very tired so will hopefully have a good night's sleep and enjoy the weekend

Have a good weekend everyone - without gambling!

Having a very relaxing ( or lazy!) weekend. Did a wee bit of gardening last night. Keep thinking I should be doing stuff when I'm off work, but need a rest too. Just need to get the balance right I suppose.

No urges to gamble - going to go out this afternoon for a wee drive and try to waken myself up!

Hello Lili,

Thankyou so much for your post on my diary, it is very much appreciated. I'm glad you're having a relaxing/lazy weekend, as we all need to unwind after a busy week of work, and as you say getting the 'balance' right is important. Keep it going Lili, you, me, all of us can beat this, and start living again.

stay strong,

mrchaser

Hi Lili,

Thanks for taking the time to follow my diary and post. Im hope you had a nice weekend off. Im glad you understand where i am coming from, your seem so determined to beat this addiction and I have a lot of admiration for you especially as your hubby is still gambling.

You are doin so well, keep up the good work.

Best wishes

Mark..

Hi Lili, you do live in a gorgeous part of the world. Edinburgh has to be one of my favourite cities. I'm looking forward to bringing the wife up here when the kids are a bit older. Congratulations on your diary....it appears that you are making real profess. Keep it up. I've decided to get out and about! I'm going to the cinema to watch Inception. Enjoy your evening, russ

Havent posted for a wee while on my own diary, although I've been reading and posting occasionally on others. Have not felt like posting. Been in to chat on here and also on GA chat. That has been good. May go along again to a GA meeting when I am off work. Can't go regularily though because of my shifts and work are already giving me every second Monday off for my counselling sessions.

No gambling going on here on my part. Afraid I can't say the same for my other half, but he doesn't see it as a problem so on it will continue....

Beautiful sunny evening, so going to take myself out. Lacking in motivation and feeling a bit sorry for myself - which is never good

Have a good weekend without gambling everyone

Hi Lili

Beautiful sunny evening! good hai!

Thanks for posting on my diary, always nice!, been through yours before and just caught up, big pat on back for your strength and fully appreciate all that bit harder with other half liking a gamble!!!

onwards and upwards in clearing our head from this odd malarkey!!!

Enjoy the weekend