This is my 117 day free from gambling. Today is the day that my girlfriend has left me. She tried to make it work after finding out about my huge gambling debt a couple of months ago, but, has now decided that she is fed up with feeling sad. We've been together for six years, during the last three of those I struggled with a gambling problem - and the last two months the truth has come out.
Over the last 116 days I feel I have tackled the root cause of my gambling through sessions with a Gamcare counsellor. I no longer have urges to gamble - partly because I spend every spare penny on clearing debt.
I have nothing left. I have no girlfriend, no friends and I am saddled with a debt that will take me months to clear. More than anything, I am left with no identity - for years I have been living in a world of secrets and lies that I had created for myself and those who thought they knew me. Now that everything has eroded around me - those closest to me know the pathetic truth of who I really am.
Whilst I am not contemplating the easy way out - I am sad beyond belief. I can't say I am a shadow of my former self - as that was not even me - it was an illusion - created by a fool, designed to trick himself into believing that everything was going great.
Whilst I am distraught that my girlfriend has left me as a result of the devastation I have caused - the realisation of who I really am and that she is right to protect herself from my foolish ways is almost too painful to bear.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'd very much appreciate any advice and support from those suffering a similar fate.
Hi underdog i got a feeling that this is the bottom for you , and for anyone of us going trough the same addiction,108 days after stop smoking and gambling i saw myself fighting against a will and a disorder that until now i didnt admit,now i can say that i am trying to change all that,i dont lie so much,but still doing in small things ,though it is how it starts,but im on the way to sot that as well.i decided to answer to your post cause i do believe that you need a friend and a new chapter in your life ,so count on me mate,i am a Chelsea supporter and on recovery from gambling,i love my wife and she is with me yet,two children and a lot of bad stories with lies and involving so many people,that is all behind and life gives second and third chances,keep strong mate and if you need count on me!!!
Thank you for taking the time to post ruivo. So sick of secrets and lies that I've been convincing myself are true.
Perhaps this is an opportunity for us to be who we really for once - to learn from the mistakes and start again. Perhaps one day in the future - others will see me for what I can become and actually be proud of what they see.
Thank you again for your support and for taking the time to reply. If you don't mind me asking - what sort of gambling were you in to?
Hi mate , i used to play roulette and horse bettings ,but with the big losses coming no game or gambling was enough i tried all the machine games,football bets , dogs bets ...you name it...how are you today?
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