Finally time to get help

Dav I didn't get to the bottom of your thread before I wrote mine. Sorry to hear you split up.

Finding it tuff now , not that I want to gamble at all but for getting the help. I was only doing it for her and now after everything she's gone , I agreed to go to meetings even tho it's my worst fear of meeting new people and talking . But now what's the point ? I know myself I cAn stop ive done it before . She went on about how a gambler is never cured , I don't believe that for a second , people can change and I will change but not for her sake anymore . She said maybe in the future but I know she don't mean it she prob just don't want to see me with someone else and be moving on but that's how I move on . I suppose it's good it happened now to know she was never fully committed to me over a couple of spins on roulette although it is hard to take . Oh well looks like my gambling page has become a heartbreak page ! Thanks for ur help and support above btw

Hi Dav, I'm sorry to hear that she ended it cruelly but be honest with yourself will you...It wasn't exactly a 'couple of spins on roulette' now was it?!? It may be worth looking @ a few of the Friends & Family posts to put this into perspective...She left the addiction for her sanity, not because she doesn't love you! Apart from stopping this time, like you did before, did you actually do anything different to when you stopped last time? If she had mentioned this on a post, she would have had people screaming back @ her to walk away! If change was that easy, you would have stuck with it the 1st time around! I told myself hundreds of times, thousands maybe, that I could just stop but until I reached out for help, they were just empty words! She is right, all of the evidence points to once an addict, always an addict, the change comes from us figuring out how to live with our addiction. If you really can't face the meetings, why don't you give Gamcare a call & arrange for one on one counselling?

You can't do recovery for someone it, it has to be for you! Try to draw a line in the sand now, forget about blame, just get some plans in place to start re-building the bridges that you can (like your Dad) & focus on yourself because, although it may not feel like it @ the moment, you are worth it!

You can do this - ODAAT

So today is 2 weeks clean , it hasn't been hard tbh I don't feel deprived or sweating to get back and have a bet and I haven't even wanted to I go past bookies and I just shake my head at them and especially the one which was my last time .

This time I came on here and been talking to advisors , been getting alot more outside help where as last time i just stopped and watched YouTube stories . Yeah I might try that , thanks mate really appreciate your input and will take it all on board thanks !

So 17 days today gamble free , got a doctors appointment tommorow morning and a 1-2-1 Counseling in the afternoon so come tommorow night I will know a bit more about myself

Day 19 today . Had a doctors appointment yesterday morning for ear infections and a bout of depression she said my ears are clearing up which is good and for the depression just that the counselling should help me . In the afternoon had my first Counseling session which was pretty good , he said I'm in the right state of mind where I need to be and I don't seem like the type of person that will let this beat me which is true it's already took loads of money and my relationship I'm not letting it take anymore of my life . The thing is I don't think about gambling anymore in a gambling sense , what I mean is I don't think oh I can do this bet or I want to do that , I think of it in disgust looking back on myself the times I should have just said no . I also said to him that I always knew I could stop I just didn't know when to but I think the loss of my relationship and feeling so depressed and down is a good reason to stop . I'm a big believer in everything happens for a reason and I stick to that maybe I needed to lose the one I love and feel so down I wanted to just leave this place to stop and realise it was ruining my life . Anyway got to work need to try and earn some money !

Day 22 today , not much has changed still not gambled still no intention of gambling not even remembering when Spurs are playing by the time someone said someone was losing I checked to see if we was even playing , usually I would be checking out all the fixtures to see if it was worth doing anything . My mentality has completely changed this last 3 weeks finally I've been able to put my priorities right and not be so stupid . I read all the time on here how people are caving in and struggling not to bet maybe I wasn't that much of a gambler or maybe I always wanted to stop but didn't know when to . Either way I'm happy to see the back of gambling and I will not be going back on that worst thing I ever did was gambled lost me so much in my life it's time to take my life back and live it how I want

Well done dav you are doing well keep it up a day at a time.this horrible disease will drag anyone down if we dont stay strong.am back at day 1 today after thinking i was cured after 9months without a bet,i was so wrong.i thought i would be ok to just place small bets and did for a while but that soon changed and i was back to normal.take care hope you have a gamble free day. Scottyboy

Cheers mate ! Ah I know how u feel I did that biggest mistske I ever made , thing is u will never be fully satisfied so ur mind will be wanting more each time u do 'less' than what u used to .... Just don't give in to a bet here and there this time learn from ur mistakes like i am and you've done it before so u can do it again ! Good luck mate

Day 23 today not much to report .no gambling no urges, feels good with the day's adding up

Hey Dav, that's a hell of a lot to report,:) 23 days of winning.

Well done you.

Suzanne xxx

Thankyou Suzanne very kind of u ! Thanks for the support 🙂

Day 25 today , today I've sat down and realised that the people closest to me haven't judged me because of this but instead supported me . It's heartbreaking in a good way how my friends and family and ex has helped me through this and still helping me . I feel like I've let everyone down but now I'm doing my best to repay their love and loyalty to me ! I never want to see the person I was again it wasn't me at all and I mistreated people closest to me because of this horrible 'game' ! I wish u all a merry gamble free Christmas

Day 35 today still no gambling ! Had a good Xmas and new year but the best bit is my ex took me back ! She really is to good to me and to good for me I'm going to do everything I can to show how thankful I am and to show I'm not that evil person I was when I was gambling ! My life has changed so much these past 35-40 days so much bad has happened not just gambling wise but I need to grow up and take on responsibilities head on ! I'm trying to look at life more positive this year I'm doing a few challenges to keep me busy and I'm going to knuckle down with work ! Hope everyone had a good Xmas and new year !

Hi Dav

Just been reading your diary entries and want to say well done on your progress so far. You are doing so well. Really pleased that you are now back with your girlfriend - take good care of her from now on in. She sounds a goodun.

Take care and sleep peacefully.

Feb.