First day to end this addiction

So, it's great to be in a new month and still feeling strong to fight gambling. I sat down at the weekend and pinpointed my prime urge to gamble times and came to the conclusion it is when I'm bored, sad or feeling a bit lonely.So will try to avoid these negative feelings and focus on being kind to myself in other ways.....Here's to a GF April, take care S x

Afternoon Sharon,

I came to the same conclusion boredum, just bored with the normal day to day life. But there has to be something better than £**** in debt, gambling sucking every last thing from us.

There is life is better with no gambling.

Malc

I couldn't agree with you more, life is basically what you make it so now if I'm bored I find something useful to do , instead of chucking money away and feeling awful afterwards. Congrats on you 59 days...inspiring!! S 🙂

I haven't written here but have read a lot of posts, it seems a lot of the same feelings occur of self loathing, guilt and loneliness. When you feel lonely it is so reassuring to find others on here to connect with. So day 20 is here and although I am really pleased to progress I still can't shake the guilt and the fear of gambling 🙁 I suppose this may fade in time and hey you can erase the past but make sure you shape your future however long it takes. Let's all stay GF 🙂

Have read a lot of recovery diaries over the last few days and they are hard going but it's helpful to read some home truths of how gambling destroys lives 🙁 I came so close last night to unblocking everything and having 'a little go' which no doubt would have turned into maxing out cards and waking up feel like c*** AGAIN! !! I think what stopped me was the echoes of people's diaries, the awful thought of there never being an end to this circle of gambling and the desperation for a brighter future. So here is to a GF weekend :)S

Hi Sharon...Thanks for popping by my Diary the other day, apologies for taking so long to get back to you, the robot thingy has been driving me mad.

I'd gone 114 days before my relapse and it hit me hard, I pretty much wallowed in self pity for 24hours but I'm over it now :)...We make mistakes.. we fall, we get back up and fight... fight... fight!

You're doing great hun, keep reading, learn about addiction and the horrors it can lead to.... gambling brings us nothing but misery... more misery and destroys lives.

You said you came close to 'unblocking' everything...Does that mean you have the password to blocks you're using? Please think about getting someone to set & keep the password...It's not really a block if you can lift it yourself, these early days are tough and our minds can succomb before we realise....

Gambling gives us nothing....Life offers everything....Keep making the right choice, just for today 🙂

Take Care

Mari x

Hey Marine, no worries indeed the robot thing is weird and annoying lol Sure will just self exclude from everything and avoid the Internet, especially in the evenings as that is the dangerzone. Well done on coming out fighting after your relapse, I fon't know about you but I found the cycle of gambling mentally and emotionally draining but I didn't realise how much until a couple of weeks in of being GF. Thanks for your advice and kind words, we can do this!!! Hugs S x

Ps sorry I called you Marine, stoooopid predictive text!!!

So for the first time in literally years we are going clothes shopping today and I have a small amount that I haven't lost through gambling or am saving for gambling.....feels pretty good!! The past few weeks have been groundbreaking for me and having this diary had been my saviour as I haven't told anyone else. In no way had it been an easy ride but I'm getting there. Happy Sunday :):)

Hi Sharon.

Just wanted to say well done you and you enjoy your clothes shopping to the full - may there be many more trips to come!

Our Lady

Awc thanks Our Lady! Came back with £25 worth from P..Mark, basically a whole Spring wardrobe. So good to think this money could go elsewhere but didn't. Hope you've enjoyed this Sunny day S x

Hi Sharon,

got round to reading your diary. I hope you continue to do well.

one of the best bits of your story and what I am most looking forward to is treating myself/ loved ones with money that I won't use to gamble.

good luck on your journey to being GF.

westbrook

Hi Sharon. Well done on getting to 27 gf days! You're not far behind me so we are in similar places on this journey. Some days are hard some days are so good right? I have also been loving that I have had the money in my account when out and about and being able to just pick up a sandwich if hungry in the shop or just going to buy this top because I like it without having to window shop for absolutely everything! The little things :). Keep fighting. J xx

Hi Sharon

In repsponse to your comment on H2Z's diary I hear you loud and clear. I was well in debt before I started gambling but gambling increased my debt 10 fold. I was obviously in a bad place but had nothing to do with the level of debt as I only wish my debt level was the same now as when I started gambling. 5 years with Payplan left or thereabouts. What a godsent they were! Well done on 27 days!

Westbrook Hi, yep those 3 cheap t-shirts and buying my daughter some clothes was a huge milestone for me as usually I would have very little to spend or spend the day thinking about slot time in the evening, it was a lovely day. Hope your having a peaceful and GF Easter, take care S 🙂