I felt it important to write down my thoughts today as I actually can't believe myself. At the end of last year I admitted to OH the extent of my gambling and how much money I had lost. At that stage I had accrued £28k debt as well as spending savings, which we inherited after my OHs mum and dad died. At that time I thought 'this is definitely it I will never ever gamble again, I have this under control'. How wrong could I be, roll forward 7 months and another £24k down and here I go again, promising that I will beat this after consolidation of loans etc. my OH is very forgiving, but I feel so guilty one min for leaving us living on a tight budget and then have strong urges to gamble again - w*f!!! I really need to get a grip of this thing. I'm not a stupid person so why can't I accept that my problem means that the bookie will always win as I can't stop, no matter how big the win. Anyway, this is day 7 gamble free and I need to stay strong and not give in to the gambling gremlin that so far has given me far more lows than highs! Slotsnomore forever hopefully.
Good luck.
Thanks JP, the renaming advise is something I wouldn't have thought of, but it makes perfect sense anc I will do this. My OH has never dealt with the finances and that is why it has been easy for me to be secretly wracking up debt but he now keeps my cards and we agreed tonight that we are only going to use cash, which he will keep and give me as I need. This will be hard as I am used to being in control but I think it will be good for both of us as it will help him trust me and already I have had strong urges to gamble, which I recognise already come on like the feeling I used to have about smoking when I gave up. Interestingly I started 'serious' gambling when I stopped smoking - could there be a link? Anyway, this site is really helpful as I know I'm not in this alone and others diaries are inspirational. Have a good gamble free weekend x
Good luck,
Goood
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