Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

evening diary,

gamble free had lots of urges the past few days but i am distracting myself and have strong blocks in place and l know if will just make me feel 100 times worse thank already do.

Went to see occupational health today they were fantastic and gave me lots of good advice for when I return to work, have my operation on Thursday mum is coming to mine to look after me until weekend when my fiancé will be home, still feels weird saying that lol.

Gradually feeling a little better each day the tablets are obviously working but still some way to go, but I am hopefull that the only way is up now.

No gambling for me I refuse to not make my 1 year target no matter what this addiction throws at me I will continue to fight it one day at a time.

Thank you so much for all the posts , re-posts coming your way.

Take care

Blondie xxx

A happy, teary 'thank you' for being there for me since day 1.

x

Will be thinking of you on thursday and so hope not delayed again.

You are doing amazingly well and feel so pleased for you that you have achieved so much.

xxx

Hi Blondie

Just wanted to wish you the best of luck for Thursday. Hope it all goes according. I WILL be praying for you that it does.

Take great care and be strong.

Feb.x

Hi Blondie, I know I promised myself I wouldn't comment on this site until April but after recently reading your diary I'd feel very bad within myself if I didn't. You've had it tough lately and my heart goes out to you, what you're facing would put us all under considerable stress. The medication will help and boost you giving you strength and resilience. All of us go through stressful periods like this from time to time, the trick is to focus on the future and happier, more carefree times ahead. I can guarantee that once the operation is over and you're surrounded by the caring love if your family and husband to be you will feel an enormous relief and weight lifted from your shoulders and mind. You will not only feel like your old self but you will feel freer, even better. You may not be able to 'see' this now but it will happen. Of course you were never, ever going to gamble through this difficult period. You're wiser now, can see the wood for the trees. Harmful escapism offers no true sanctuary only acceptance and positive focussing does. I admire you Chrissie for all you've achieved and the fight you've shown to get you here. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you well. Try not to worry, everything is going to turn out well. All my love (not in the Biblical sense, I know you're happily taken) but in the sense were I, amongst so many, care.

Good luck, Steve

Hiya Chick..

Just also wanted to add to your thread and to say that the positive manchester healing vibes will be coming your way on thursday and will be wishing you a speedy recovery from your op...

Also wanted to say that where I work we have many practioners that work there who do all kinds of pampery stuff with oils and ....i get many freebies in my job and if you would ever like to come in for treatment and be pampered on the house ...let me know.... I can arrange that.

Ommmmm......ditto with everything steve said in his post...you resurrected Lazarus !! thats some power you got there hun..

Focus on you and learn to recieve...! youre worth it!!

R and D xx

ps..

If those rouge thoughts descend....just beat them away...

one to cheer you up xx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?…;feature=youtube_gdata_player

xx

Hi Blondie,

I have been reading but, very hesitant about writing because I want to say the right things -- whatever that means... You are in my thoughts and prayers ( and I know that praying is not everyone's bag ) but, not like "praying" in a holy card sense but, wishing, and willing you the strength, and balance, and wellness that you so trully deserve. That was my best shot at getting what I am feeling down in words. HUGS Blondie!!! -joanxx

Thank you so much everyone for your kind and touching messages I will take you all in my pocket tomorrow to the hospital, in bed now going to try and get some sleep,have to be there at 7 15 so hopefully I will be down in theatre by dinner time, but nervous and will be glad when it's all done and I can concentrate on getting better.

No gambling today and the I seem to have battered those urges in to submission makes a change from me submitting to them, the tables are slowly turning and each time I beat them I smile and think of my dad, I know he would be so,proud of me.

Take care everyone and keep battling those demons with everything you got.

Blondie xxx

night hun and sleep tight..

Thinking of you tomorrow....hand it over to your HP (your dad) and to us and we shall make sure you are safe.....

We have you covered hun....nothing to worry about ..not on our watch xxx

(((((hugs)))))

R and D xxx

Thinking of you today x

Good Morning,

Thank you for the post, always gives me a lift hearing from you. Very much thinking of you today. I hope all goes swimmingly. Wonderful for me to read that you are slowly turning the corner. Despite your recent feelings you have totally rejected that old demon and you should be proud of what you continue to achieve my friend.

Flagg x

Hi Blondie

Just to let you know that I have been thinking of you and praying that your operation is successful. Hopefully, you will have a speedy recovery and soon be back to the Blondie everyone on hear knows and admires!!

Sending lots of love.

Feb.xx

Hiya Chrissie....

Ordered sun today for ya ...hope you're feeling the love....

Rest up and be looked after

R and D xx

So operation done had to wait from 7am till 5pm yesterday. Still in hospital as my blood pressure is low but hope to go home later today. I always knew what a fantastic job nurses do but I never realised how rude and ungrateful some people are, really opened my eyes and made me admire and respect them even more. In lots of pain but had loads of morphine lol. So hopefully home later as I didnt sleep at all really last night. Thank you everyone for you posts. Blondie