Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

Hey Blondie

Thanks for your lovely comments. A virtual piece of Iced lemon Cake is on it's way to you with a big Get Well Soon!!

Three years ago, I snapped all the ligaments in my ankle (would you believe, getting out of my high heels and putting my flats on to go for a power walk)!! - i got to the bottom of the stairs and as I turned, I went over on my flatties at the same time and just heard snap!! I know exactly how you feel.

I agree, I think if we ask ourselves too many questions, it can be quite exhausting. Why don't we just say "today I am going to have a good as day as can be" and leave it at that - no pressure!! So just for today Blondie - no pressure on yourself!

Keep that leg rested, no matter what you may be tempted to do - the recovery process is so important, remember that.

Take care and catch up soon. One year fast approaching for Blondie!!

Feb.xx

The bear and the thorn.

Once upon a time in a forest not far away there lived a very fuzzy bear. Now bears usually go lumbering through the forest on all four legs, but this bear always seemed to be limping, as if something was wrong with her right paw. Other animals would question why she walked with a limp and the bear would reply: "I don't limp," or, depending on how she felt at the moment, "I don't know why I limp." Sometimes the bear could sense pain deep down inside her paw and she would hold it up and look at it, but she saw nothing unusual. It looked just like her other paws, with scarcely any signs of scars or cuts or problems that would cause her to limp.

Now this bear also had problems getting along with the other bears in the forest. She didn’t want to tumble and play with the others, and didn't understand why any bear would want to tumble with another bear. She didn't even enjoy getting honey out of trees. Often the bear felt a deep sadness within her, but she wasn’t quite sure why. She seemed unable to feel the feelings that other bears told her they had or to enjoy life as other bears seemed to.

One day, as she was walking down a path with nowhere in particular to go, the bear came upon a little cub who had fallen into a clump of prickly bushes and now had a huge and sharp thorn lodged in its paw. The little cub was whimpering and crying because it was very afraid and did not seem to know what to do to get rid of its pain. Gently the bear held the little cub and pulled the thorn out of the paw. The cub

whimpered and cried for some time after the thorn was removed, and the bear watched and comforted the cub as the bleeding stopped and the wound began to heal.

All at once as the bear looked down at the young cub, from deep within her, in the hidden corners of her memory, a picture from the past began to appear - a picture from a time, when she too, had fallen into a prickly bush and lodged a huge thorn deep within the pad of her right front paw. The memory became clearer as she realised that when she was younger she didn't know how to get anyone to help her. So gradually the skin on her paw grew around the thorn, covering up the thorn and also covering up the knowledge that it was even there. But the sharp object lay deep within her paw, surrounded by infection that spread throughout her whole body, leaving only numbness Instead of feelings of being a bear.

As she found this memory, the bear understood what she had to do. She soon helped the little cub find its mother and then set off to find other bears in the forest and ask for their help in removing the thorn. Before long, she managed to find a bear that had much experience in thorn removal. "This is going to hurt some,” said the wise bear. "It's been buried so long that as we bring it up you may wonder if you shouldn't leave it in place so you won't have sharp pain now. But,” she went on "this thorn has hurt you far more than you now understand. It must come out so that the infection that it caused in your body can be healed." Then, using pressure and persuasion, the wise bear eased the sharp thorn nearer and nearer to the surface of the lonely bear's paw until at last it was visible and could be removed. The other bears helped too, and before long every bit of the thorn was out.

Getting all of the pieces of the thorn out after such a long time was painful, but the bear understood that in order for her pain to be completely gone every bit of the long embedded thorn had to be released from her paw. As she began to heal her paw sometimes hurt, but she noticed that each day she felt better and better. It was amazing - she was experiencing feelings in a new way and seeing the world through the eyes of a bear who was healthy and who, at last, loved being a bear. And to make sure she learned from her experience she told other bears how powerful a mind can be to hide the pain of a thorn buried deep in a paw. For she understood the lesson of the thorn that pain not remembered can be the most destructive pain

Hi Blondie

What a great post and makes so much sense think everyone can relate and take something from it , ur a walkin talkin example of what can be achieved and what life is out there for all of us

So proud of u

Castle2

Hey Blondie,

That was a real great life lesson story, I can definitely relate to it. Thanks for all your support to me. I hope you have a great day.

Chicagoguy

Great story Blondie and definitely bears similarities when it comes to walking with great pain for so long. I want to congratulate you for your continued abstinence. Grand work.

Keep it up and take care,

Ergos

Yo,

Thank you for your message , hugs dully passed on 🙂

Great post BTW

Take care of that leg !

Shiny xxxxxxxxxx

Ps just read your previous post , not enough , I sooooo agree Hun you've learnt plenty , and we have been fortunate enough to go on your journey with you , and at times learn from you .

Haven't pulled my catch fraze out since my return but it is more than apt now .

Keep on keeping on my dear dear friend 🙂

Pps just read you post to the Steg , recon he might be lying in wait , ready to pounce and take my 1000 post , his got previous you know .

Now wouldn't that add some sunshine to our day 🙂

Hi Blondie. Thanks for your message on my diary. You are absolutely right. I need to go beyond well intentioned words this time and change for real. Great to read that you are doing so well. Best wishes.

Dave X

Hi Blondie,

Thanks for your post on my diary. I really appreciated it. Those words were exactly what I needed to hear at that time. That's a special gift you got there girl. Anyway, I also loved the story about the bear and the thorn. I definitely believe that for most of us in recovery there is a festering thorn at the root of it all. Thanks again, so much for being you and being a part of this fantastic forum. -joanxxxxxx

Hi Blondie nice to hear from you, i should never of left the site too soon but hey should of would of could of's don't work, thank you very much for my post

To,

Watching greys at the moment , sorry have moved to liking Owen ,

Obviously this was a very important piece of info , that well it would be wrong not to share .

BTW MACSTEAMY father good is ageing him , do you not think . In a good way ,,,,,,, no so sure .

Hugs ,

Shiny xxxxx

Afternoon diary,

What a beautiful day. A day even though with my frustrating peg leg I managed a lovely limp with woody this morning, sun is shining , birds are singing, daffodils are coming up and I am alive.

The urges last night to gamble were strong but I occupied myself as best I could, home alone and bored is not a good combination for me, but then I tried to change my thinking that I am lucky to have some me time, some time to reflect, some time to pamper, some time to read or catch up on my favourite programmes, so I ordered a Chinese, had a nice long bath with candels pampered myself for a while, then watched greys anatomy .

It turned out to be a perfect evening I just had to kick my brain into gear to stop thinking I was bored and enjoy the time I had.

Gambling won't play a part in my day today I decided that this morning like every morning so far for nearly a year.

I keep my recovery simple life is complicated enough, I don't place that first bet and therefore I am safe.

Enjoy your day everyone, today is another chance to get it right,

Take care

Blondie xxx

Hey Blondie,

Glad your doing well, chinese sounds good, can't do that anymore. Enjoy your weekend and stay strong.

Chicagoguy

You are so right, if we could just twist the mindset like you did we would be fine so much more often and enjoy life so much more.

Lovely to see the sunshine today but not as brave as you hopping everywhere so have filled bird feeders and sitting watching life go by for a change.

Thankyou for support and hope things begin to look up for you.

xxx

Goodness me, one can never predict what lies around the corner but what one CAN predict is how a certain individual will cope with what life throws at them. It's been a topsy turvy time for you lately with your health and your mother's scare but still you remain positive. You are amazing and this resilience and outlook is your strength and finest quality. I can certainly relate to the limp, took me years to walk again properly and pain free and it certainly was somewhat boring. Maisie used to call me 'peg leg' too when I was on my crutches, the heartless cow.

You did well last night, sometimes my brain screams out like a naughty child..'give me excitement, give me excitement,' that is when, I suppose, we are tempted to gamble for that buzz. Letting go of that need for thrills is something most gamblers need to learn. I've learned that skill somewhat this past year but I still have that part of my brain, the buzz seeker, which, like the plant in the Little Shop of Horrors, screams every now and again 'Feeeeed me Stegmore!' If you know what I mean.

Your year is nearly here, my how time flies, and what a good year too, who'd have thought that we'd both reach this far and achieved so much, we should be proud, we decided to face what had to be faced and changed our lives for the better. The sun is indeed shining as the dafodills dance below in a warming spring breeze. Life is good.

Steg Wordsworth wandering lonely as a cloud to the gym and baths to sweat out the one too many ciders he had last night.

Take care

Hey Ms B

Just caught up with your latest trauma!!!! Hope the leg feels better soon. In true Blondie fashion you're tackling it head on 🙂

I loved the "bear" story- sooooo apt and a great life lesson.

Thanks for your continued support.

Irene

x