Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

Hi Blondie

Just checking and hoping you are having a better day today? - Just for today - it's all about Blondie taking care of herself.

Thinking of you.

Feb.x

Hi Blondie

Just wanted to ask you something. I know you said on my diary that I am fast approaching 90 days and that is a significant milestone in G.A. Why is that? (I don't attend G.A. so not sure).

Thanks

Feb.xx

Yo,

Just wanted to say , it's ok Hun, we at times have such high expectations of ourselves , that if we can not meet them , we look for a way out . Ours was gambling , or for me any one of my addictions .

Also the expression one swallow does not make a summer comes to mind . I have often been concerned that one mistake would make me the worste person in the world . But one mistake does not wipe out previous history , all the good , kind , giving things we have done .

Try not to be too hard on yourself , proud of you for doing what you needed to do , really hope your fiancé gets that , but sort of think he will .

Stay strong Hun ,

Shiny xxxx

Hey Blondie,

Thanks for the thoughtful words in my diary. I'am very grateful for finding this site, and to have so much great support, from many great people like yourself, while I'am in recovery. I know recovery is a lifetime commitment, and to be in recovery you must be involved in a on going support group, otherwise your just abstinent from gambling. I hope your doing good, and much congrats to your own recovery, you've done an outstanding job!

Chicagoguy

Hey Hun....thanks again and just snatching time on lunch...

No sure if you are back in work or off with your leggy so apols if I have missed that ...will have to catch up as things move so fast on here x

Thinking about your post again and thinking priorities and your mum is a priority so is your leg as driving like that is not good so you made the right decison...your man is also a priority but you haven't got a clone !! ..just a lot of unforseen things happening at once that no one could have expected and your dealing with them as best you can whilst also carrying a lot of grief of your own.

I hope your not worrying about the current confidents your man is speaking to they are no threat hun....I know if it were me I'd feel a bit miffed and left out but it's probably more a bit of sulkiness as your not there with him....

being the adult I am I'd be saying "well what dont you just move in with THEM then " lol .....don't you worry and trust me on this you are MORE than enough for your man and no one will ever come close .

I understand it if you feel a bit peed off if folks who barely know you are having an opinion on your life....a bit like me just then!!!!! Lol xxx

Had a boot up the jacksy and gonna have to get back in the real world again...hung up my Darth Maul persona for a while...

Ps Lost is good sometimes but scary but sometimes its the only way we get found ...

R and D xxx ((((((B )))))))

R and D xxx

Thankyou for your message in my diary, I do appreciate you dropping in when you are coping with so much yourself.

Please be careful if you are driving with a dodgy leg. I drove back from Devon eighteen months ago with a pain in my leg (took me 8 hrs stopping every few minutes)and last summer ended up having to have my knee replaced and it is still agony so please take care and rest up.

You are right about the job, many a sleepless night in the past but not so bad now as I gave up the court work a couple of years ago after needing armed escort once too often as worried for my grandchildren. Scary at times that someones life or death can depend on one report you write or something you do or don't see. Love the work though especially the teenagers as identify with their problems as experienced some nasties myself during my teens. Trained at art college initially so like to combine the two and didn't finally qualify till my mid fifties. From reading your diary and support for others you have so much insight and a much better use of words when supporting people than me and would be brilliant at the job, I tend to rely on face to face stuff and struggle on here sometimes to express myself adequately. I enjoyed the training as much as the job as well as so many interesting people at uni so go for it, you will never be out of a job and many an adrenalin rush.

Not a wise person so no words of wisdom but do so wish that things would improve for you, feel like a tantrum saying it's not fair leave Blondie alone, we are a mature lot arn't we. Till they do sending thoughts hugs and wishes

xxx

Hi Ms B

Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair!!!!!! You've had some really hard stuff to deal with recently and seem to be coping amazingly (in my humble opinion).

As you know, I'm not a wordsmith so sending big hugs instead!

I agree with re- if all else fails, tantrums are wonderful 🙂

Take care bud

Irene

x

So I think I might resort to tantrums girls thanks see if that works. Lol

Things are going from bad to worse with me and the fiancé, he can't seem to speak to me and I am sort of done trying, I might be as childish as him now and just ignore him, I asked could we speak tonight and he said what about?

I was supposed to be going down to see him on Saturday but I'm seriously considering telling him to go and poke it, childish and stupid I know suppose I need to take tomorrow to think about things before I react in anger.

They say love concers all I am beginning to wonder, I am to old and to wise and tired to play childish games whilst 200 miles apart , and feel like I am being backed into a corner to move away from my home because he wants a career in in outdoor pursuits. I have explained I can't just up and leave my youngest but have said all along I would consider it when she has left school etc which is another 3 years away. All of a sudden I am being unreasonable ?

I just don't get it?

Today I will breath, today I won't throw things over and over in my head, today I will leave it to my higher power, ofherwise I will make myself ill with it all.

Mum has been here most of the day, just made a nice roast dinner and waiting for the apple strudel .. Yum yum

Sorry if my,diary is starting to sound like Jeremy Kyle, o*g ... God forbid..... Lol. But I need to spew it all out.

Thanks for the posts all

Take care

Blondie xxx

Yo,

Got the feeling , if we were actually together in person.

We would have a tantrum , a few tears , then just laugh ,laugh , laugh until our sides hurt .

Life , men who'd have hummmmmm,mmmmmmmmmm

Shiny xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just for another day - Blondie is going to breath and think of herself and what she wants to do without thinking too hard about it.

Good luck Blondie. Whatever happens, you will get where you want to get in the end. You have a huge celebration comming up very soon. Don't let anything or anyone spoil that for you. Least of all, yourself!"! That's an order from Lady Feb herself! H!!.

You are in my prayers as usual.

Take care.

Feb.xx

Hey Girl,

It sounds to me like you got a handle on this. Nothing wrong with a good scream either. I usually take a pillow and give it a good working over as well 🙂 -joanxxxxx

Hey my friend,

Being of the male variety I was unsure whether I should post ;).

Thank you so much for your post other day. We have looked out for each other right from the start and I have so much time and respect for you. Loved the post and some inspiring words from Mr Roosevelt also.

I think I would just echo what others have said and just let it all out on here. You are clearly pretty angry, pretty frustrated. I think you really do have a point and your other half playing the stubborn or childish card isn't helpful in the long term.

I hope the situation is resolved quickly and in the best possible way for you.

So close to the year :).

Flagg x

Thinking of you xx

Yo,

Hope that in the light of day , things are a bit better .

Take care Hun , never been arrested , maybe there will be a first time lol

Shiny xxx

Think you so much for the posts everyone, I really needed that lift.

So after a 5 hour conversation with my fiancé last night, our previous record was 4 hours I'm not sure how I feel.

Last night I bore my soul and my inner most darkest deepest secrets that no one knows about me to another human being. How did it feel? I would like to say liberating, freeing maybe that bit comes later.

If felt excruciatingly painful, and today I feel vunerable, scared, and exposed, but in a weird kind of way I feel stronger.

Rach says all the time stand in your own truth, and I have seen some brave posts from people bearing there souls and I knew it was now or never.

I backed away from my grief councelling last year because it was getting to close to the subject I was going to take to my grave with me, but I know that if I let it go I will hopefully get it back.

I know I have done the right thing, and if I was going to continue with my recovery it was a step I had to take hence why I had booked some private therapy sessions , who better to do it with than someone who I trust and love.

I still think I will have the therapy sessions and I have changed my first app to next week.

I said it was time to step into the arena, it's scary and dangerous and painful but it's necessary for me to move on.

Hello everyone my name is Christine and today in this moment alone everything is ok.

Take care all

Blondie xxx