Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

Yo,

Thank you for the excerpt you sent me . Really took a lot from it and have printed off a copy .

Good news about your mum , spec that a little bit of the weight off your shoulders .

Hugs Hun

Shiny xxxx

thanks for the post shiny, its a great book well worth a read.

This morning i think ive had an epifany, i should google that word and check it means what i think it means lol.

My friend who asked me go on holiday sent me a book today in the post with a lovely note in it, it was a copy of Jason Manford's autobiography might not mean much to everyone but the night before my dad died i had taken 2 of my friends to see jason manford at the MEN it was such a great night filled with belly laughs all round, little did i know the next day my life would be devastated and change beyond regonition. I was watching him on tele the other night and i text my friend as said just watching jason manford brings back lots of happy but also sad memories, which also made me think about the person i was that day before my dad died.

I thought that my dads death had changed me i have felt stuck for so long and felt that i could no longer find the person i was on that night in the MEN , her sending me the book that she got that night which she got signed has strangly felt like coming a full circle. Today i feel like she sent me back in the post !

Im not sure that im explaining myself very well, but i just feel a shift, I know my dads death did change me, and although i have felt lost i was here all along.

My dads death added something to me, it makes me want to be a better person, it makes me think even more that life is to short and time is to precious to ever waste on gambling or destorying myself.

Not only did gambling numb out the bad feelings i had it numbed out the joy and the happiness that i had, you cant selevtivly numb just the bad feelings you numb everything.

Another piece of the armour has been added today. No more numbing out for me.

Take call all

blondie xxx

Blondie.

That's not armour that's the sword!!!

My friend today I am so glad you decided to join us again, your post say's more than the words.

Just for today, Be Proud, very proud of making sense in a world full of desruction and devestation.

I think rather than closure,today you took the best route, to open another chapter.

for sharing that I thank you.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hello My Friend,

I hope you are well? My main reason for today's message is PAGE 3? Now I have no idea if you could be a page 3 girl lol but I certainly didn't like seeing you down on page 3 on this particular site. So, I am bumping my friend right back up where she belongs.

Take Care,

Flagg x

Hi Blondie,

Just a quick note to say hello, best wishes, and sort of echoing ol' Flagg's note there.. 🙂 -joanxxxx

Hey Blondie,

I can relate to your last post very much. I'am an escape gambler, and I used it to numb the pain and loss I was feeling from the passing of my father. Today in recovery I learn to share my feelings, deal with them, don't run from them and look to medicate with an addiction. It really sets you free facing the pain and working through it. My recovery is first for myself and also my dad. Stay strong your an amazing person.

Chicagoguy

Thank you for the posts everyone .

Been thinking a lot since my last post and feeling like that change has happened for me, I finally accept my dads death and have realised that I was still holding in lots of sad emotions about it, and like anything once you speak those emotions they lose there power over you. I will always feel sadness and loss about it but i don't have to torture myself and be in a constant state of anguish.

I like not being an emotional c*****e anymore its liberating getting it all out the good bad and ugly. If I have learnt one thing this year its that internalising how I feel is the worst form of self torture there is, and actually people still love me and anyways its none of my business what other people think about me, it's what I think about me that matters.

And I am ok

Take care all

Blondie xxx

THAT...my lovely is a fantastic post and the strength of your posts comes over loud and clear ...

You truly are walking your talk and are an inspiration on here ....with grace and dignity ..

I am always reading even if some days i don't write but lovely to catch up with you othe other channel today and for your support ..

Hugs To you and woody wuff wuff

R and D xxx

BY JOVE MISSUS! I was in a state of titilation when I read your post (typing this whilst protruding my teeth and playing with my bed head as only Ken Dodd can). I'm honoured to be up there with the 'Lord of Knotty Ash' and the keeper of all those jam butty mines. He actually loves not too far away from me, still helps the community by helping to fill in their tax returns. Last time I heard he was helping Jimmy Carr.

Anyway I digress, I hope you're well. I'm aware that you've been shedding emotional baggage. This of course is very good. It's obvious you've been through so much this last year it is perfectly normal to have felt weighed down in all that time. Grief, more than anything takes time to work through and you go via a range of difficult emotional stages before you get to the other side. Yet, to me, you've handled everything brilliantly and the 'other side' is within touching distance. You've grown in all that time into an even better, wiser person yet without losing that endearing character which was always you. Not gambling has given you the time and energy to achieve this and face things head on.

I'd better go now, got to get sleepy head ready for school before I head off.

Take care Blanco enjoy the rest of your day.

Steg Diddyman

Certainly is what you think that matters. I'm glad you have sorted out those things in your head. It's a hard process when the emotions and feelings are so strong. Glad things are going well for you tho. Take care.

I have just had the most wonderfull conversation with work and my team. I have been off work for 9 weeks now and am returning to work in a weeks time, I have felt so guilty about falling apart, but i also feel invigorated about putting myself back together.

I have dealt with some terrible things lately from my past that have been dragged up by recovery I suppose, I knew i had to talk about them and get them out and i have,

TODAY I RECLAIM MY POWER BACK, I choose not to give it to somebody who invaded my personall space 30 years ago. f*** you... I am better, stronger and wiser now.... I AM WORTH recovery,

NO MORE GUILT.

Another chapter has been opened dealt with and closed in what i know drove me to numb out with gambling.

My suit of armour is becoming inpenatrable...

Take care all

Blondie, no bet today and no bet since 23/04/12

GET IN THERE. xxx

Yo

funnycorner.net/funny-pictures/5671/funny-demotivational-pictures/power-rangers.html][/URL]Funny Pictures

Oh is that not Blondie second from the right .

You go girl!

Shiny xxxxx

Back of the net!

Well done, great news. Really happy for you Blondie about time you got a decent break. Onwards and upwards.

Steg

Hey Blondie,

Well, all I can say is YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAH!! -joanxxxxxxxx

Trying to post a picture of a unicorn for you to ride on in case the armour is a bit heavy. (just realised that sounds a bit dodgy maybe should stick with a horse).

Great to hear all going well for you and so gratefull for your support still.

xxx