Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

Hey Blondie,

Sending you some Chicagoguy hugs for you and your mom. Hope things are going well.

Chicagoguy

Glad all went well. Look after your mum but dont forget to look after yourself aswell. Take care.

Thankfully a stressful day out of the way. I really, really hope your mum gets the all clear when the results come back.

Good luck, stay strong.

Steve

Hi Blondie,

I wanted to jot down an inspirational quote I read the other day:

"I know how my urges work now, and today they didnt win. I WON!" -blondie

Awesome girl!! That's just it. You hit that ball right out of the park! -joanxxxxx

Thinking of you both.

xxx

thank you everyone for all your posts. xxx

I seem to have lost my mojo for my diary, i struggle when this happens as i feel i am not giving my recovery the focus it needs, but i am ok at the moment, i seem to be able to speak about how i am feeling which leaves me less inclined to have to write about it.

I am also struggling to post back to people, not sure what that is about as i normally get so much back from posting on others diarys.

Although i have the odd urge to gamble i feel that i am moving further and further away from it maybe its a natural progression with my diary also. ?

Thought for today....

Once you know better, you do better.

Take care all

Blondie xxx

Blondie,

If you had to write a list of priorities in your life right now, your diary would I guess peg in a bit down the list, you have bigger fish to fry, so to speak.

you put in such a great effort to understand your addiction and what abstinence will gift you I am sure everyone would agree in saying you have not lost your mojo, you use it with each heart beat, to better your life and that of those so dear to you.

Recovery is bespoke, keep tailoring it to what serves you best, in that knowledge we would all be happy.

With strength and honour

Duncs stepping forward never back.

I am Your DiseaseI hate meetings.

I hate your higher power.

I hate anyone who has a program.

To all who come in contact with me,

I wish you suffering and death.

Allow me to introduce myself...

I am the disease of addiction.

Alcoholism, drugs and eating disorders.

I am cunning, baffling and powerful. Thats me!

I've killed millions and enjoyed doing it.

I love to catch you by surprise.

I love pretending I'm your friend and lover.

I've given you comfort.

Wasn't I there when you were lonely?

When you wanted to die, didn't you call on me?

I love to make you hurt.

I love to make you cry. Better yet...

I love it when I make you so numb,

You can't hurt and you can't cry.

You feel nothing at all.

I give you instant gratification.

All I ask for in return is long term suffering.

I've always been there for you.

When things were going right, you invited me back.

You said you didn't deserve to be happy.

I agreed with you.

Together we were able to destroy your life.

People don't take me seriously.

They take strokes seriously.

They take heart attacks seriously.

Even diabetes, they take seriously.

Yet, without my help, these things wouldn't be possible.

I'm such a hated disease, yet I don't come uninvited.

You choose to have me.

Many have chosen me, instead of love and peace.

I hate all of you who work a 12step program.

Your program, your meetings, and your higher power weaken me.

I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to.

I am your disease.

For now I must lie here quietly.

You don't see me, but I'm growing more powerful everyday.

When you settle for mere existence, I thrive.

When you feel fully alive, I weaken.

But I'm always here waiting for you.

Until we meet again,

I wish you continued suffering .

Author Unknown

NOT TODAY ...... TODAY I WON TODAY I AM FULLY ALIVE,..........

today you have won blondie

i agree about targets and mini targets thats why i have already signed up for a 10k in october and probably gonna run a 5k or 10k in june

Blondie,

Thank you for your supportive post on my diary, which was much appreciated. Congratulations on your continued success through not gambling.

I, like you, began to fall away from my diary a few months before I relapsed after ten months gamble free. I know that sometimes it can be hard or perhaps we think we have nothing knew to post but try your best to continue with your diary. I wish I had and often think that things may well be different for me now.

Keep up the good work.

Tomso.

Hey Blondie,

Great post, so true to an addict. Glad your doing great and thank you for all your support on my recovery journey. Have a wonderful weekend.

Chicagoguy

Hi B

I'm hoping things are good with your mum.

Reading your posts is always inspirational to me- thanks

Irene

x

Hi Blondie,

I find myself drawn away from posting and reading from time to time too. It's just life I think. Sometimes you need to cathart, share and relate, other times you feel you have nothing to say. As long as you are not gambling, it's all good girl!

Hoping things are looking much better for you, than they were a couple of months ago.

Take care,

f x

Hiya Blondie, great to say you're staying strong. Keep it up! Love, Stubbsy 🙂 x

Yo,

Can totally relate to you post bout posting , and your feelings bout your diary .

Think it's something most of us go through . I remember when I first started to pull back , I felt a lot of guilt about I should be supporting all the folk who supported me . So would make myself post out of duty .

Think it's about a balance and ensuring your diary works for you and in line with your recovery . You like myself spent a good year being an integral part of the support network for those around at the time . The same way as those good folk became an integral part of our recovery .

After a while we pass the baton on , and the diary becomes an aid rather than the biggest piece in our recovery . I think this is progress , as long as we can find our way back if life throws us a curved ball and we need to use every tool a viable to us to get through it .

Hope you and mum are ok .

Hugs

Shiny Pants xxxxx