Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

Yo,

Just popping my head round the corner . To say hope this weeks gone ok , and that mums not suffering to badly with the side effects .

I too can see how much you've grown in a year .

This time next year will be no need for the Jimmy Choo 's

Hugs Hun

Shiny xxxxxxxxx

Hey Blondie

Glad all is well with you and hope the treatment doesn't have too much of a negative affect on your mum. I feel a bit like you at the min - looking forward to the weekend after a hard weeks work - still, at least we are keeping busy.

Take care.

Lady Feb.xx

"I'm not willing to make huge sacrifices"....wow ..now that is a language I can with....hear hear Ms B ...I'm in the same path.

Stating what my needs are...compromising 50/50 ..and not sacrificing ...

Xxxx

14 months no gambling.... Gooooo Meeee....

mum has 4 more radio therapy treatments to go and she is doing ok, my race for life is a week on sunday eckkk and i have been baking cakes and selling them in work and have a raffle for a sweet hamper which my friend donated...

Work is mental and i suppose its be carefull what you wish for, I managed to get the job that i wanted and that will take effect the end of this month.... No time for gambling.... To busy living and challenging myself....

I heard this today and loved it...

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

thank you for the posts all.. take care.. Get the sun cream out for weekend... yayyyy

blondie xxx

Hey Ms B

I'm liking that piece of prose already as it doesn't contain the word "forgiveness" lol...

Great to see you are busy busy and also that you still come onto the site with an update ...I still have to register my donation as the race is soon...

Think I may have to edit my post on why slim people jog as I can now think of an exception ...hehehe

hoping mum ,woody and your man are going to be there in the sidelines cheering you on...Superheroine...The pink avenger.

Emotionally I'm not up to the "invasion"of another being in my space. The idea seems like a good idea but not the reality. : )

keep on running ...do doo do do do

R and D xxx

Hi Blondie,

I know you are not posting that much these days and it is because you are feeling great and living your life. That is a place I will be someday. Til, then, if by chance you are still reading this is just a note to say hello and that I'm thinking about cha. Also there are new members joining all of the time and this is a public service announcement: Read Blondie's diary! Take Care darlin -joanxxxxxx

thanks for the post lovely ladies.

Still going strong infact dare i tempt fate and say im going from strength to strength. Its really is like every day gamble free that i have I feel more powerful and in control of my life.

Its nearly 15 months since i gambled and although i have moved away from posting in my diary daily i still read diarys and it serves as a constant reminder to me of the pain and misery and self torture i put myself through whilst in action, although I feel different now I know that my addictive gene will never leave me its just now I try to channel that energy into positive things.

I know when new comers come to the sight they are told to take it one day at a time and probably think what a load of bull s**t, BUT those words are now engraned in my brain and in my day to day life.... I cant control people places and things but what i can control is my actions as the lovely saying goes "If you always do what youve always done, You will always get what youve always got".

Make small changes to your thinking , to your outlook, to your attitude, just small wins every day and I promise you it can be done. you can have a gamble free future.

I now seek progression not perfection.. and each day is progress.

g rab recovery by the short and curlies and take back control of your life.....

TOGETHER WE CAN DO IT. !!!!

Its the last day of mums radio therapy today and the admiration and pride i have for her and what she has been through, well words could never sum it up, I take strength from my mum everyday, and I draw from values and love and laughs that my dad gave me as much as i can.

I have my tattoo as a constant reminder and when i look at him I remember how he lived, not how he died.

Work is mental at the moment but i am coping well with the madness and my profile in the company is steadily rising, I always fired on 2 cylenders in work and was still sucessfull, lets see how they can cope with blondie firiing on all 4 cylinders..... it should be interesting. lol.

Anyways a real ramble from me but an update never the less.

Take care, all I think about you all every day and send you strenght and love where ever you are.

Take care

Blondie xxxxxxxxx Just for today I took control back of my life

blondie.

great to see the positive things that abstinence gifts us.

thanks for sharing.

one day at a time life will continue to improve.

well done and thanks for sharing.

hope the run goes well.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hey Hun ..thank you for the shout out xx would love to see your tattoo in la flesh as t'were...still following you on fb and will be depositing to your run once I'm paid ...

North south divide eh? Watford gap eh ? I say ..saw it off at stoke on Trent and lets be done with it ...lol ..inclusive of derby....no reason ,.a hem ...lol xxx

Only kidding ...just a bit o banter...but it is a very different world ...your driving sounds as err "unique" as mine xxxxx

Lovely post blondie. You certainly have got control back. Ofcourse were all one day away from disaster but you seem to be in a great place and I don't think that'll be coming to an end anytime soon. It's great to hear how far you've come and the changes in how you feel and what you have and do are clear to see and inspire me to get there. 15 months is amazing. Very proud to have seen you grow and keep growing.

Hi Ms B

It's so lifting to read your last entry- you deserve to be proud and enjoy your achievements. As usual, your positivity and progress is inspirational for me.

I'm so relieved to read also the Mother Blondie is doing well with her treatment- she is lucky to have you as a daughter.

Take care

Irene

x

So lovely to hear how well things are working out for you after the trials and tribulations of the past few months.

Enjoy

xxx

I can imagine you sitting there Blondie in your pin stripe suit smoking a cigar making life changing decisions whilst twirling one of those executive toys, 'fire him,' 'pay rise,' 'liquid lunch,' etc. glad to hear things are going well for you and your brave mum.

Keep doing what you're doing cos you do it so well.

Steve

Thank you for the posts everyone xxx

Another week passes and add that to the weeks and months and year gamble free and it goes to show that taking it one day at a time pays off.

Each morning when i wake up i have no expectations of the day, I tell myself just for today i wont gamble , just for today I wont self medicate my feelings, I wont hide behind a 14" inch monitor.

Today like yesterday I will "get deliberate" , I will try and stop any self pity or anger or resentments that I may have or hold and replace them with gratitude.

I completed my race for life on sunday 5K in the searing heat and a day that filled me with gratitude, Such an emotional but yet inspiring day, which i will certainly do again next year. There were ladies running with there 3 year old sons name on there back who died of cancer.

Young children running with there mum or dads name on there back.

One lady running with her husbands, mum and dad name on her back all died within 3 years of each other.

Even someone wallowing in there own self pity would of been filled with some kind of gratitude.

Everyone is fighting there own battle and we look at them, and sometimes judge them and yet have no clue what there journey has been like.

Today i am still grateful that my mum is a cancer survivor and what ever time I have with her will be filled with love and laughter, not a distant daughter who numbed herself out because she was to scared to deal with how she was feeling.

Today I am thankful for another gamble free day.

take care all

blondie xxxxxx

Hi blondie,

What a wonderful post! Very well done for your abstinence and completing the race. My mum is surviver of breast cancer too, and i treasure those monents we can spend together. I don 't see her much, because i live over here...prob twice a year... but then i do...i'm trully attached to her like a little girl all day long..

Bless you for your great work...i will do race for the same cause aswell next year

Take care

Sandra x