Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

Funny how we can be such creatures of habit or sometimes, slaves to our routines... at least that's the case for me. Good that you are learning to deal with changes/upsets, etc. in healthy ways. You're an inspiration!

Hi blondie just wanted to say well done on your continued strength it's great reading your diary take care

The bear x

Hey Blondie,

Thank you for your kind post and understanding.

As i say, it was a huge lesson to be learned and i come out more wiser and stronger after it. This slip is not gonna put me down, opposite ...i'm SOOOO ready for the battle:)

Hope all good with you..take care

((((( Blondie ))))))

Sandra x

Hi Ms B

Glad to read that all's good with you. You continue to inspire confidence in me that I too can do it!

Take care

Irene

x

Hey Blondie,

Just bumping your diary back up:)

Hope all is good and you enjoying your everyday life g free.

take care

Sandra x

thanks for the posts everyone.

All is ok in blondies world, find myself ticking along quite nicely now, hardly think about gambling and when i do it doesnt terrify me that i cant control it.

One thing that i have learnt from this whole process is that I always had the power a bit like dorothy with her red shoes, I just forgot i had the power of choice...

A thought is just that and when you truly understand the devastation and destruction that you will cause if you act on those gambling thoughts then for me the choice is simple.

Why would i want to do that?

I know and have felt what gambling does to me, I hate the person i become, weak, selfish, sad, inconsiderate, self centred.. the list is endless of all the qualities I am not...

Its great to be back in the driving seat, Its great to be in control of my emotions and actually its also great to not be in control of them sometimes, but now i have that sense of self that I can try and understand where there coming from and deal with them as best i can.

s**t has happened in the last few weeks and I find with each day the freedom to make the right choice just makes me feel stronger and stronger to cope with what ever life throws my way.

I am challenging myself and investing in my growth, if that is a spiritual path minus the god bit then thats ok with me.

Onwards and upwards everyone.

Just for today I will not gamble

Blondie compuslive gambler

No bet since 23rd April 2012

XXX

Hi blondie ,

Just popping in to say hello and amazing since April 2012 you have not gambled I aim to follow suit we don't need it 🙂

Take care

The bear x

Lovely post blondie. Its really great to have seen you pretty much from day one and to now absolutely turning your life around and totally back in control and really enjoying the benefits of that gamble free life. Great to read you going so strong and still so determind. Love it. Have a great weekend.

Thank you for the posts everyone, will try and catch up on some diaries in the week, I must admit I have stopped reading daily im trying to see how that feels for me as this site has been a massive part of my recovery for the past 18 months.

No gambling thoughts or urges that I can't quickly bat always, instead I am focused on making wedding plans, planning a holiday, and living my life with my family.

As it approaches nearly 2 years since my dad died I feel a sense of pride in what I have achieved , I know I can never make amends to him but I can make myself the best I can be and the happiest I can be.... He would be proud of that, he would be proud of how I have taken responsibility, how I have supported and been there for my mum, and how instead of taking the easy option out I have stayed strong.

I can't ask anymore of myself.

Once you know better you do better.

Take care all

Blondie

No bet since 23rd April 2012

Blondie,

Fabulous post. From a selfish point of view it really is amazing to read about people doing so well in their recovery. Your input is vital to this forum. I always say the same about DMac. If it wasn't for people like you the forum would be full of people struggling with addiction, which is fine because we are all here for the same reason but with examples like yourself and DMac I find something to reach for. I know there are people out there just like me who have found a formula that works. That is all the rest of us are striving for.

Also, yes your dad and other family and friends must be extremely proud of you as are the rest of your followers on here.

Tomso.

thanks for the post tomso .:)

It’s funny isn’t it I suppose I’m still procrastinating about a post I read recently intimating that some people in long term recovery on the forum think they are "god like" .

I will make no bones about banging on about my recovery that’s what this forum is about recovery, do I feel or act in a self rightious way that I am 18 months gamble free ?

Do I preach to people ? I hope I don’t , I share my experience, strength and hope with like-minded people who understand me and I them. I don’t say that my way is the best way, and everything I post is my experience of it only.

Recovery is as Mr Mac says "Bespoke", we make it up as we go along, we try different ways, we stay open minded, we deflate our ego and start to listen to other people, we admit our faults, we correct our behaviours, we commit and work on ourselves after all my warped thinking brought me to gambling therefore if I don’t change it will take me back there.

I don’t have all the answers and there is no magic cure we all know that, but what it does take is a steely determination to change, do I sit about feeling sorry for myself saying ive tried this and that and it hasn’t worked ? No I committed 100% to recovery and I am prepared to do what ever it takes to keep on that path.

I may be 18 months gamble free but I am as close to a bet as I was on day 1 and I don’t ever forget that.

I wish everyone well in there recovery.

Take what you like and leave the rest behind

Blondie

Compuslive gambler

No bet since 23rd april 2012

Blondie,

As our friend Duncs says - I salute you my friend!!!!

I take every single word from your diary, because it says so much about my own recovery and the reason why i need to keep moving forward.

Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us...real inspiration!!:)

By the way - WELL DONE on g free time, keep moving and moving forward, it's gifting never ending journey to better future and you are perfect example of how it can be done.

Day at a time:)

take care

Sandra x

Hello Blondie,

I remember reading your posts many months ago and wondering how long you will stay gamble free.

I feel totally in awe and inspired by your determination and success to date, this is a fantastic achievement and I hope I can mirror your achievments.

I guess the message that jumps out to me most is the admission of the problem and the sense in seeking professional help. This illness is too big to deal with on our own but honesty and committment will help us win the battle.

I wish you well as you continue to recover, it is early days for me but I am so determined I know I will win the battle. My main worry about admission was what other people would think of me and how they would judge me, then I read a quote on somebody's post saying "never judge somebody untill you have walked a mile in their shoes", well not only have my shoes worn out but I realised nobody on this site and at GA would ever judge me but support me through this torment.

Best wishes again Blondie, I am so pleased for you to have come this far.

Hope x

Hi Ms B

I'm so pleased to read that all is well in Blondie's world.

Like you, I'm not spending so long on the forum...life seems to be taking over. I still need a check in most days though.

I'm hoping that I can follow in your footsteps, although I doubt I'll ever have the same way with words 🙂

Take care

Irene

x

Hey Hun...

Just a flyer to say you keep banging on about recovery all you like...your walking your talk and sharing your progress and are an inspirational example to people on here.

If there was a church of Ms B ..I'd sign up !!!

R and D ...xx