Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

Hey There,

The numbers stay :)! I like the numbers and you are now 94! So I think my friend that's what like 6 away from 100! Must feel pretty good! I had fireworks and all sorts on my 100 I think you will get equally as much if no more! I notice treat Tuesday wasn't so hot yday? Report writing doesn't sound much of a treat to

Me? Oh I remember reports yuk I'm not far away from being sucked back into writing them either! Joy of joys!

Anyway, wow do I talk or do I talk! You had a question for me! I would say as much as I like GA and I get an awful lot from it they have a very set way of doing things! In many ways it's good because you know where you stand and that's as far away from having a bet as humanly possible! However, I think in terms of recovery and I think the Shiny one will back

Me up here everyone has their own little unique way of making recovery work and as long as it actually does work then stick with it! So, the 12 steps I know where I am with them, I refer to them, but I don't have a sponsor as such! How active are you in your meetings? I have got pretty chatty with another member there who is approaching 2 years bet free he isn't my sponsor but every week we have a chat about progress etc! That works for me as I attend every week with work I know that's not Always possible for you! So, mayb a sponsor isn't a bad idea! I would also if you have not already read the beyond 90 days book as its got a few gems in there and it's helped me a lot! That's a very wordy reply to a simple question but you prob knew it would be with me! I would say don't think you have to work the 12 steps but don't dismiss them if they help you! Same with a sponsor if it's going to help great but if its just because GA suggest it then it doesn't make it 100% necessary!

I will speak to you in about a week once you have read that lot lol! Until then enjoy day 94 keep the numbers rolling and keep being you this site is a wonderful place to be because of people like you.

Flagg

Lol at your post .

No fridge freezer , gives you a clue that I live down south lol

So no treat Tuesday . What's that about ?

The steg in a tent , poor Maisie no doubt leaning the joys of fishing as we speak .

I do agree with the very wise Flagg, recovery is very intivual. I think the 12 steps were a bit intense, but having said that, when you read through then you can see well I could see that I was doing anyway, if not consciously , but they have become part and parcel on my recovery .

A sponsor I suppose when GA, or AA was set up. It was with a view that someone who had a decent ammount of recovery would guide and support the addict in there recovery journey .

I get that every day on here, so I have lots of sponsors .Yourself included.

I know in my work , in life things have changed dramictivly because of technowledgly not so sure if GA and AA have moved on at that pace.

Now before I get a barrage of complaints, i do think that GA is fantastic , and it was 8 years ago a big part of my first recovery , I attended AA and GA meetings at least twice a day when I was in rehab. It along with the counciling I had kept me in recovery for 5 years .

But for me I get what I need here, any hour of the day or night . Each to their own, as long as it is working who really cares. Recovery as I said last week , is most defo not a one size fits all thing .

I appoligise for butting in, but as my name was mentioned it almost felt like an invitation ..,,

Hope you are having a good day, not working to hard ,

Hugs .

Shiny xxxxxxxxxxxx

Day 94.

Treat tuesday wasnt about me yesterday, One of my brothers kids he has 3 has been really well behaved lately (they can be hard work) so i promised her a few week ago that we could do something as a treat, so last night she stayed at mine and with my youngest we baked brownies and cakes , watched a film, ate lots of sweets, stayed up late, and generally messed about. A great time was had by all including me.

Had an early morning phone call from my BF this morning if your numbers up its up. His brothers friend was out jogging last night with the local running club, running through a field and ran into an overhead power cable that had fell from a pylon and killed him, he was 42 and had 3 kids , so sad, so tragic, so wrong, so unfair.

Life can be unfair at times and we either hide away from it like i did when i gambled or we grab every single moment by the short and curlies and get on with it, enjoy it, retain our sense of humour, not take things to serious and appreciate the things we have and not pine for the material things we dont have.

All sounds very twee but in the cold light of day when something like that happens, I know which option im taking and its not the gambling one.

Today im thankfull. Enough said !!!

Blondie xxx

So sad Hun,

I do agree with you about when your times up it up.

How would you explain hillbourgh or 9/11 to name just 2

Makes you put your worries into a bit more context really .

Shiny xxxxxxx

Wow congrats on the 94 days! I hope you have a nice treat planned for when you hit a century!! I can't wait to be back up to 100 days again and feel like I've come so far 🙂

Thats a shocking story about your brothers friend. It really does show you how you have to apprecaite every second you get with your loved ones and sitting in front of a machine or a computer is the WORST way to spend your time. I can't believe I used to wish my daughter would go to sleep so I could have some quiet time on the laptop without her interruptions. I think now, what if I lost her? What I would do or pay to have her interrupt me.

Life is precious. Gambling is a waste of time - FACT.

Keep up the good work I have every faith that this is going to be a very long and successful recovery for you 🙂 xxxxx

Hi Blondie,

Thanks for your post, and I agree, as I said, I think I knew it was going to happen and in retrospect it was right in a way for me to do it how I did it... although the outcome does help draw this conclusion. But I learned from it again... one step at a time eh.

Hope you are well, and sorry to hear about your Brothers friend. It is scarey, and does put things into perspective... but only in the sense that our choices should be made wisely based on the fragility of life sometimes.

Anyway.. played golf... ankles still knacked so had to hire a buggy ( golf cart ) so I whizzed around 18 holes and had a great time. Bath and read time for me now... old age and stiffness, whilst in some areas are not compatible, in many they are.

Jon x

Blondie

"grab life by the short and curlys"

Enough said

Duncs stepping forward never back.

am not good today hun..sorry xx

Hi Blondie,

I just wanted to say a big thank you for your support when I was feeling really low. It really did mean a lot to know that you were still looking out for me and supporting me.

I have sorted myself out, put the blocks back in place and am back to try again.

I see that you are still doing brilliantly. Congratulations!

I hope that you have a great day and thanks again.

Dave X

Hi Blondie,

Thanks for posting, your support is much appreciated and I note with great happiness that you seem to be ticking along well!

You are fast approaching a century now so keep going, keep fighting the good fight and enjoy life as much as possible.

Actually I would echo the opinions of thos wise owls Flagg and Shiny regarding the recovery process, there does not seem to be a perfect recovery process for everyone, what is important is that you take strength from the good advice, support from the good people and ignore what you feel doesn't help. That is what you seem to be doing already and you have come so far in such a short period of time.

A massive well done on you progress, keep going and take the recovery at the pace you want to, you are in charge now....

Stay safe and strong

Paulds

day 95. 5 days away from treble figures. 🙂

Eldest has flown out to Ibiza this morning a week of abuse for her body its her 3rd holiday this year, i love seeing her getting out there not wasting her money and living life to the full. Our relationship has improved ten fold over the past few months and since ive had a few heart to hearts with her things have really changed for the better. My eldest is beautiful I know everyone would say that about there kids why wouldnt they, but she is drop dead gorgous when im out shopping with her women double take her in the street not just blokes, but i didnt realise how low her self esteem is perhaps untill i came of the laptop and stopped gambling and opened my eyes and heart up to what was going on.

She comes over as supper confident but its a mask.... hmm i wonder where she gets that from, so slowly im trying to help her with that as best i can as we all know, its whats inside that counts the outside is just a shell.

Ive been thinking about recovery over the past few days, apart from having the gamble free days behind me how do i know im in it ?, How do i know im doing it ? Improving my relationships with people is one sign, Not putting my gambling needs above whats really important is another.

Having this calm feeling in my head and inside in general is something i havent experienced for a long time.

Its all about learning and growing, trying new things or changing how i think and therefore my reaction and behaviours to things and seeing how that works for me.

I could do with one of those cattle prods every now and then to zap me into action but i dont mind the baby step approach at least i know its sinking in slowly.

I hope to make my G.A meeting later

today work permitting, just had a big announcment which means lots of change, but see above post change isnt always a bad thing. 🙂

Thank you everyone for your posts and support as always it means so much to know you have my back and I yours.

Onwards and forever upwards

Blondie xxx

Hi Blondie,

Thanks for post yesterday............Yourself and a few others have been a huge part in my recovery............You guys....this site....and a huge amount of will power have got me to where I am today. I will not become complacent either.......take each day as it comes..good or bad!

Its so good blondie to see how you have got to where you are on your journey........I have so much respect for you!

Really lovely hearing about your daughter and how much your relationship has changed for the better.

Why in the world would anyone want to gamble after reading some of the recovery diaries on here.

Enjoy rest of your day hun

Sue xx

Blondie, thanks for the post, the dark clouds are over me right now, but I can beat it!

🙂

Steve

BLONDIE.....Shouting now........Get back on my diary and finish. I can't wait till tomorrow........Shades of grey got nothin' on you hun!

Blondie.

It is amazing and never ceases to amaze me how much we have learnt through our journeys, our eldest is off to perform at camp bestival for three days, so this means standing on a stage reading his own poetry all alone with thousands watching him, he is so reserved and the last one to ask out or speak out but finds the courage to stand upon a stage, six months ago I would not have seen this I would have just handed him cash and left it at that,today he earnt his own through his poetry and we talk as a father and son more, put a price on our stories ?? PRICELESS!!!!

Well done you for making it possible.

Gamble free.

Duncs stepping forward never back.