Giving the heartbeat a break

Well done MVG. I too come here now when I have the urge. I'm on Day 13. Seems like ages ago I started this process but slow and steady as they say! Keep going.

Hi MVG...you have shown that you can stop gambling...have you got blocks in place? You can exclude from casinos online and install software on your computer/phone.

Thank you both for replying.

Day 20 and in 72 minutes it will be 21 days of no gambling.

I must say I found Saturday quite hard. After football we all go to the pub to watch the late kick off and in the pub they have Racing UK and ATR on the screens. It really brought the urges back as there is a bookies right next door and they even have betting slips in the pub to write down the bets. I stayed strong and didn't bet but it's probably been the closest I have come to breaking my promise to not gamble again.

I hope you all had lovey GF weekends!

Day 29 GF....the month is now so close.

It's payday tomorrow and I'm rather excited to see how much money I will have left over come March payday having not gambled for an entire paycheck.

Just popped by to say a massive 'well done!'
Temptation must have been difficult for you in the pub but you came out of there winning.
Enjoy your money this month - you deserve it!
All good wishes for the future.
LML

At the time I used to find the betting slips in the pub to be be a nice convenience. Looking back, it's quite irresponsible. Anyway, well done MVG!

Thank you both 😀

Day 37 GF today.

Problem is, I have been here so many times before. I know how easy it is to replase. I just need to rember the utter dissapointment of breaking my previous GF streaks and make sure that this lasts forever. I know that I won't ever be able to control gambling again, for example getting to 200 GF and then convincing that I'm 'cured' and maybe just £10 bet on a horse here and there is fine as I fully well know that within weeks I will be gambling £1,000 a horse or footie match again. Funny really, that we can always predict the hole we will find oursevles in but allow it to happen anyway.

Keep strong all x

So today is 43 days being GF, making it only 7 days shy of a nice milestone of 50 days!

I might begin to start quantifying GF days in other formats.

Months: 1.37 - Weeks: 6.08 - Days: 43 - Hours: 1,020.96 Minutes: 61,257.89 - Seconds: 3,675,487

Sounds much more impressive when looking at the hours, minutes and seconds 😀

Urges are going away now. I think the biggest tweek that I made, that has made it easier this time is to remove every single gambling/sports trading account from my twitter. In my previous relapses I would usually give in because I would see twitter accounts of people making eye waterning money and always thought, with disicplne, I can make this too.

Day 47 GF

Incredibly strange day. Today I had to attend gambling exhibition which is basically one of the biggest gambling exhibitions in the world. It attracts all the who is who of the industry from around the world. I was dreading this, but unless I pulled a sickie I had to attend due to having a number of customers who work in the GI. After about 10 minutes of walking around trying to find my customers I began to feel sick to my stomach. This entire exhibition was built on the additions of myself and fellow gambling addicts. Each exhibition stand must have costs hundreds of thousands of pounds to build, yet alone pitch fees and all fueld with money I would donate to them regularly.

I spent some time trying to understand the types of companies at the exhibition and still can't get over the disgust at what I saw. There were endless software companies that were promoting their software that uses intelligent real time player data to help betting sites provide live betting offers and bonuses to make player keep gambling. I saw a company who has invested heavily into ergonomic research to make the most comfortable chairs to ensure players at live casinos are so comfortable they don't want to get up. Another company was promoting their specially designed slot machines that ensure they don't cause glare on they eyes so players don't have to break away from them for being tired. These are just a few examples.

No wonder there is now a gambling addiction epidemic in the UK when you have companies all around the world working on products that ensure they get as much money out of punters for as long as possible. What hope is there for people when so many things are against us?

I actually feel heartbroken. Through my addiction I have helped fuel this industry that is now such a HUGE monster that its power won't ever be broken. I feel heartbroken for all the future people who will fall into this addiction and will ruin their lives through these companies that were openly boosting their products will mean bigger profits for the gambling sites/shops/casions.

I hope you're all well x

Hi MVG! What you describe sounds terrifying, although alas not wholely unexpected. The whole thing is perverse and I really worry for future generations. We were taking a trip home in the car a couple of days ago and were driving through a town (which I won't name) and my wife said 'look at all these bookies'. 'What's a bookies?' piped up my eldest, 'It's a shop where they give you money' answered my 6 year old! How scary is that? Already there must have been something he's seen, probably whilst watching the football with me when Ray Winstone pops up or similiar. Just like the sporting industry did with tobacco, it needs to cut its advertising ties with gambling, otherwise we're just giving the next generation a different type of addicition.

Day 49 GF, at 22:00 tomorrow I will have reached my 50 day milestone.

I had only short term self exclusions on all my online accounts which expired today. I have just finished self excluding myself from my last account account, I logged in, checked my net desposits for 2016, closed the account, moved onto next. God it feels liberating. Now I can live everyday without thinking 'what day is that account going to open again'!

I've tallied up my 2016 net deposits and I lost a total of £18,615.89. Since I've stopped gambling I'm now monthly deducting from that total with what I don't gamble, fun game to get it to £0 and hopefully it will help with reinstalling the value of actual money, something I completely lost.

Hi MVG,
Congratulations on 50 days!!
I've just read your post no' 10.
It does physically make me feel sick.
Like you stated what also goes through my mind is when is it all going to come to a head? People are becoming caught up in the gambling world with all the advertising/ promoting for the industry.
The younger generation in my extended family openly discuss the odds/their bets whilst watching a match as if betting goes hand in hand with watching sport.
I feel sickened that I fell for the brain numbing addictive ploys produced by these soul robbing companies. I actually walked into my mountain of debt, eyes wide open which have now resulted in me having to try to put myself back together after feeling literally broken.
The ease of obtaining credit is obscene. I also fear for future generations and more selfishly I miss the person I used to be before the slots took a hold.
The industry broke me for a few years. I have to put myself back together again.
Stay strong, we can succeed x

reinstalling the value of actual money, something I completely lost

love that line from your post on the 13th soooo true - something that's only becoming more and more apparent to me as I look at my debts . Congrats on the big 50 🙂

Day 52 GF.

Arsenal make me incredibly sad.