Goodbye dizzymissy78.........................this was my user name on many gambling sites.i would many times have big wins only to give it all back,I would pretend to go to bed early so I could sit in bed until the early hours spinning slots, heart pumping because I was winning and if I was I couldn't wait till the morning so I could play again ;or if I lost the pumping adrenaline that still pumped through my veins wondering how I was going to get money for food shopping,who I could borrow from next with an excuse and another lie the kids needed something,my washing machine needing fixing.i would even at times have my phone on silent nipping out to make a cuppa spinning and hoping for a bonus at which stage I would go to the toilet my husband would ask if I was OK as I had been there ages.how pathetic I am a 38 year old how does this grab us in this way.it makes us devious liars,I have cancelled clients to sit home all day playing slots to then realise my hubby was due home and run around trying to make it look like I'd done something and attempt to make tea,I think a lot of the reason for this behaviour us lifestyle change and losing my identity like a lot of women I've become "just a mum"i am no longer the sparkling fun girl I was ,I am a cleaner a cook the fun has gone .I lock myself in this world where I can switch off to the outside world knowing it is causing hurt but it's now become a habit and it is an itch I want to scratch.goodbye dizzymissy I haven't seen you for 14 days now it hurts that I'm never going to see you again but you must let crystal come back and become the fun girl she was. .......
Morning, congratulations on 14 days! Your story could be mine! Your description is me too a T, it's awful isn't it. I knew the destruction I was causing yet I could convince my self all was well, taking out loans and cards, and scrapping by everyday just so I could spin away. Have you told your partner? It's not easy, I have done it twice now, I'm so lucky too have him.
I hope you have a great day. Alice
I can't tell him he got diagnosed with menieres and his mum died he won't accept he needs to talk to someone he has terrible anger outbursts not directed at me tho I think this is part of the problem I haven't be able to talk to him for a long time now we have been together 20 years he puts on a pedistal I know he loves me but I can't deal with him slipping into depression again that's kind of why I'm here I need support thank you for taking the time I really appreciate it x
I'm sorry too hear that, well everyone here is amazing, although I'm back for the 2nd time and only on day 2 (I say only because It should be months and I'm so sad with myself) everyone here understands each other. Do you have software on your phone etc too stop you from gambling? I know I wouldn't last without it, willpower is not something I have a lot of right now! And Mr gamble can convince me that pretty much anything is acceptable! Slots have been a way of life for far too long for me, and i have too put every block in place too stop me going back.
Ah babe's day 2 what happened do you know ur triggers boredom being upset?x
Hi dizzy thanks for the post on my diary. When you said you are jealous of me ceasing up do you mean about to my wife? If so Myself and others here could give you advice on how to open up to him
In the meantime well done for staying clear your doing very well
Stay safe
Gaz
Yes you kind of have to know my hubby he has his own issues a terrible childhood his mum dying recently who he was really close to and being poorly he gets very angry not in a nasty domestic way just frustrated I couldn't live with myself if he had a breakdown over this his step dad paraded a girlfriend only 2 months after his mum's death his mum left everything to her partner and clearly the girlfriend had been around while his mum was dying of cancer now he feels his mum didn't value him I don't think so I think she was just a bad judge of men lol thank you for replying it really helps x
A really great honest opening post Dizzy.
I can relate to a lot of it, the buzz in the end the money became irrelevant we just can't stop, it's pointless. The begging and borrowing using any excuse you can to get your fix it was us liers and living a secret life it's hard work living that way.
Your now 15 days in and living a better life how have got to 14 days, is it will power alone, have you put blocks in place or is that you have no funds to gamble?
I understand your reasoning for not telling your hubby but it is important to get some support in the 3D world I'd there anyone else you have or can open upto? If you haven't call Gamcare and consider the free counselling they offer and/or GA.
Finally keep posting and reading other diaries it helps immensely.
That is strange dizzy as I work in the retail betting industry and it is against the law to withhold payment even if the customer is proven to be self excluded
Really well I have put a complaint in.i self excluded then opened a new account they said I gave false Information which actually wasn't true same address etc I said nothing flagged whilst opening the account or depositing for a week only when I tried to cash out them messaged me saying I'd broken the rules and the funds had been "depleated"they did how ever refund me initial stake
If there is any else you can tell me to do let me know I think it's terrible I'm pretty sure had I not won that they would of given me anything
First thing I will say is that I don't want this information to harm your recovery. I'm only saying this as I believe they are incorrect. This is not the case in my company and you would have been paid there may be a loophole so please don't get your hopes up. If this isn't going to harm your recovery either if you were to get funds paid back to you or not then firstly I would try ringing them again and ask them what there policy was on it and say I'm sure you can't withhold payment you took my funds etc you are as responsible as myself (self exclusion is not a one way thing on the customer or the bookies part. FACT) that is why people can't sue if being served when self excluded. If you still can't get anywhere take it to IBAS they are a free negotiator between bookmaker and punter. Please let me know how you get on but please don't let it harm your recovery.
Stay safe
Gaz
Thanks so much gaz it won't harm my recovery as I have no intention of going back but yes I was shocked they kept the money wow you must have a difficult time working in the industry I can see how you get caught up I appreciate your help
Morning! I would say that's a tricky situation, to go back and talk too them might trigger bad feelings (I know for certain it would for me!) I had £3000 confiscated once, They said I placed a random bet higher than I was allowed in the ts and cs, they had proof I did...but I knew I didn't! Low and behold a few months later I found they had been blacklisted everywhere for dodgy practices! But tread carefully, I know you said you won't go back and your over 2 weeks in, but visiting a gambling site would be really tough for anyone like us. I hope you have an amazing day X
Yes I agree with you I would only go through them via email they have my bank details I think they cover themselves did you get your £3000?not holding out much hope I knew what I was doing when I opened a new account altho I think it's strange they only close your account when you withdraw I'm pretty sure if I had lost for 2 weeks they would have continued to take my funds ah well!how are you doing today I like to set myself a little challenge each day,clear a cuboards out sort something do something with the kids it helps make me feel better about myself it may help you too xxx
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