Help!!!!

Hi addict!

Sorry to hear your slip! The best thing that may happen is you’re partner finding out! No more lies no more hidden accounts etc! It will be painful and who knows what his view will be! But this is about you and you’re recovery and for me everyone knowing was the

Best thing that happened because it allowed the start of recovery! Hope you are ok take care

ALN as hostile and judgemental as it is i have taken all you have said on board, believe me nothing you say can make me feel worse than I already do, when i write the posts its never in my mind whether they are taken seriously or not but I thank you for your input. Barney thank you for your support I know what I have to do and it will be done, gamstop is in place now for 5 years and when it's up I will sign up for another 5 years. Lethe I absolutely get what you mean about me telling him rather than him finding out and I take whole heartedly your advice. Jappy he does need to know as the deceit is what is killing me Inside. Day 3 gf

ALN wrote: Sorry that you see it as hostile, however I only posted to give you a wake up call. From what you have posted to date I dont, and sorry for saying this, believe you have any intention of getting better. Especially as you continue to make excuses to do the right thing. I question why you have had access to accounts and cash, would suggest that you are still manipulating your partner, as a compulsive gambler myself I don't buy the self pity, you alone have been responsible for the mess you have got yourself in. If you really want to get better then you'd do everything to arrest this. Honesty, barriers, attend meetings, plus counselling for what you are probably also suffering from i.e. depression and anxiety. Draw the line. Tell your partner everything and start to move on. It will be hard but nothing in life is easy. I for one hope you see the light but from what I've read to date not holding my breath.

I still have access to my account as it belongs to me. The money was mine and after giving a substantial amount to both my partner and my son my issue is I blew the rest, now I'm not disputing that I've been a d**n fool and I have let myself down completely and in time he will know the full facts. It has not impacted on our daily life we have our own business and believe it or not it wouldn't enter my head to gamble with that money, it goes into his account which I have full access to but I would never touch it as it's not just mine. Ok so through writing all that I have learnt something new, I do have some self control obviously and selfishly felt I was entitled to squander it as it was mine. I shall go ponder that fact for a while. Thank you

Have you heard the saying 'I haven't done that...yet'?

Don't underestimate where this leads if you don't take steps to address it. Mr L did stuff I wouldn't have believed him capable of to fund his gambling and he's not the first or only. Get some proper blocks into place to give yourself some breathing space when the urges hit (they will) and then look at counselling and GA to start identifying and addressing the underlying reasons for the addiction.

Lethe wrote:

Have you heard the saying 'I haven't done that...yet'?

Don't underestimate where this leads if you don't take steps to address it. Mr L did stuff I wouldn't have believed him capable of to fund his gambling and he's not the first or only. Get some proper blocks into place to give yourself some breathing space when the urges hit (they will) and then look at counselling and GA to start identifying and addressing the underlying reasons for the addiction.

gamstop is in place now and knowing I can't has helped with the urge, but honestly now all my money has gone it's like an acceptance that it's over. I don't know if that makes any sense or even if I come across as genuine plus I didn't look at where I was posting and maybe shouldn't have posted in recovery diaries but I was in a panic, I am glad I did though as I have found the input helpful and thought provoking

I have never actually sat and thought why I have gambled or how I even got into it in the first place, I wouldn't dream of going into a bookies, pub or casino and feeding the machines because people would be watching and judging but sat in front of a computer its anonymous and more like a virtual reality world where your not having to physically hand over money. I've noticed that when I get stressed is when my urge to gamble kicks, it's been a form of escapism, now I read or get up an do something to occupy my mind. Registering with gamstop and self excluding from all the sites I used has removed the temptation so even if I wanted to I cant. 39 days gf and taking each day as it comes

Thank you Aln and I will continue to post as I have found it very helpful reading other posts too. I identify with just about all of them and it does help me with the self loathing aspect of my journey in that I am not alone with this terrible addiction. Sadly like most I had to loose everything before I recognised the fact I had an addiction and I will battle this for the rest of my life, no room for complacency or that I am suddenly cured, I know deep down that if I had a lot of money I would gamble again in a heartbeat. I have yet to deal with the guilt of what I have done but for now day 49 gf...one day at a time

22 days since I last posted and still gf but the guilt and pain is becoming unbearable, the total realisation that I have been so utterly selfish and really messed up the security of our future is getting me really down. People around me are in need of basic everyday help and because I was so selfish i now cant help out. These feelings are very hard to handle as I am where I am because I got myself here but feel totally helpless as it's too late to do anything about the money I lost. Still taking it one day at a time ....71 days gf