Morning B - just a quick hi for the highlander!! Hope you're doing well...........you've been very quiet - always concerns me!! Finger oot northerner and get checked in to the challenge or I'll be in ma motor and driving up the A9 to kick your a55!!! Lol!!
Stay strong,
Mr Bx
Evening all!
Well here I am on day 11! All is going well surprisingly! Not much to report.. been in my new job for a month now and been promoted to a senior post so all is good! Been working late quite a bit so that is keeping my mind occupied.
Cant wait for my fist full time wage so I can pay the majority of my pay day loan back! that will feel brilliant! Also I still have 80% of the money left on my credit card.. that hasn't happened in ages!!
Feeling very positive although I do still think about gambling.. I just know I wouldn't stop if i started though! Can't help think about all the money I have lost over the last few years.. thousands! Could have put a deposit down on a house with it all or gone on lots of dream holidays! But hey.. whats meant for ya and all that jazz!
Mr B that made me smile! Wish I could sit down with you all for a chat! Often think if I had someone to actually have a conversation with that was going through the same thing then it would make this whole process easier!
Better go and check into the 2014 challenge!
Stay strong everyone and be proud of everyday gamble free.. As the days go by the pride just grows and grows! Double figures now anyways so feeling good about that!
Much love all
B x
You are a star , every win against this devilish addiction is an huge task,i do hope that you keep strong,i am 10 weeks free gambling and smoking,getting fat ,but happy so much more,and believe this i got my family all by my side!!!please keep strong!!
hi silver lining , read your diray in total , think your amazing by the way you could of done something stupid but you didnt you came on here instead , it really works for me as when i bored or loneley which is usually when i used to gamble i just come on here instead , i on 15 days today and i once worked out that i was spending on average £1125 per week at least, giving it to those silly online sites , so 15 days without gambling that means im at least now £2250 better off , so i feel good about that [ not that i could afford to loose it ].So my point is keep posting on here everyday if you can as i believe even if you ramble on like i do it will help and stop you wanting to gamble , im not depressed and havnt been for at least the last 12 days and maybe the full 15 days but i cant remember , but either way this addiction it doesnt just claim your money/life/thoughts/family life /happiness/ it claims everything if you let it , but i like you are not going to let it , im not going to be a victim of gambling anymore . I once saw a proramme you may of seen it, it was based in london it was called the chicken takeaway or something like that , kinda like a documentory , one of the customers and to be honest i feel like crying for him every time i think about it , well he got his chicken and chips ect.. went outside and ate it with his friend sitting in the street and the camera crew interviewed him a little , he was scruffy and so was his friend , he then said the obvious that he was homeless , and then carried on the story to say he had a chain of hair salons at one point in his life , and i think from what he was saying was possibly a millionaire at one point or if not very close , he then started going to a casino and said he was spending at least £1000 every night and kept on doing so until he lost everything . So sad and he allready had what alot of us start gambling for to try and get alot of money , well i did anyway but then after like you said after it was not about the money but about the buzz and adrenalin rush and even sometimes if i lost i would go away happy, MAD .for me it just then was addictive but until this site and to be honset until writing this actual post, its never really sunk in fully that i have a problem , and ye ive gone 15 days , but i know without a doubt for the short term anyway i without this site would gamble again , and so for now at least will stay on this site . It was quite weird how you went 37 days or somethin before you gambled again and lost that 250 or whatever , i also before coming on this site also stopped for about 30-40 days and then started again told myself i would only bet 25 quid ,just one last time i told myself just win a couple of hundred back just have a bit of fun ect... 3 days later im another £1000 down , then i thought how the hell that just happen , i had a system , my a**e did i , my a**e is there a system . Thats when i told myself i need to speak to someone which i promised myself to do so if i lost again before that £1000 i promised myself that , and although i have not told anyone apart from couple of friends a little , i have come on here which i think is as good as keeping that promise to myself of telling someone , as im telling you lot lol but also by doing so and reading your posts ect.. it is counciling me in itself knowing i am not the only one with certain thoughts addictions ways and to know im not the only one caught up in this godforsaken mess . my 2 points to you are keep posting on here everyday as this will keep your gamble free days building higher and also you last relapse like mine before i came onto this site i believe for you and for me this was a last test that prooved to ourselves , that we both have a problem and can not gamble because we cannot stop and that we are addicts and then pushing us into doing whatever it takes to stop , I wish you well with IVA , from reading your diary it tells me you are a fighter and a winner , and i am stuborn and have never given up on anything but to be honest this is the hardest thing i have ever tried to do , to stop gambling, and i dont believe you will give in to this disease , and i think you and your partner will have the children you want , good luck for the future well done keep strong , and ps sorry for going on, and i to like your new name
Hey Beth - just checking in to say hi. You've been away for a while - hoping it's just a busy life.
Take care girl and drop us a wee note to let us know how you are doing.
Mr B
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