Here goes nothin :-)

Claire, Well done on keeping gamble free since friday, you now seem to know what makes you tick ,and what needs to be done in order to keep off those machines. It is good to see in yourself that you "...dont want to be that person anymore, a liar". We can all better ourselves without gambling, become 10 times the people we were!

Glad your date with "bruce" went well, a good bit of switch off time is always helpful.

Keep it up, and keep positive....

X Doodle X

Hi all

thanks doodle for your reply, its getting late in the day again and have friends coming this evening so its fair to say another gamble free day. woo hoo!

have my counselling in the morning and nipping out on the train with my mum tomorrow. living again, slowly but surely. 🙂

take care all, claire xxx

Hi Claire - been reading your diaries for a while now so thought I'd pop in and say hello. Sorry you had a tough time on Friday, it seems that these blips and slips are a part of the process so don't beat up yourself to much. I can identify with you loving bingo but being battered by the fruities, I love betting on the horses, and did it for years safely, but now the machines are in bookies it's ruined that little pleasure. I think its brilliant that you can offer support and encouragement to others even when your having a hard time, it says a lot about the real you. Take care James

Hi all

thank you james for your kind words. they mean alot. i've been reading your diary too. will go post you in a mo. another gamble free day, no bingo.

nite all, take care, claire xx

Well done Claire you're doing really well, thanks for the posts on my diary, they're most welcome. The most influential piece of advice I have learnt in my recovery is to keep it in the day, God Bless, John. X

claire

Hope things are going well and gamble free still. Also hope the councelling went well on monday. I found I used to really hate going, but when I actually got there things went a lot better than I thought they would. I used to go feeling all nervous, low and not in the mood for talking, and would mostly come away feeling slightly better. Hope it is working for you.

Thanks for your continued support on my diary....

X Doodle X

Hi all

just a quick note, am about to get in the shower,train at 10am. going to blackpool for little sisters 21st birthday. this'll be interesting considering its the gambling capital of england!

will have my mobile so i can check in here and have got the number in case it all gets too much. also got my mums number.

i have barriers in place regarding money so feel ok.

got to go, take care all, claire xx

Claire

Have fun at your sisters birthday. Sounds like a big test, I'm sure you are up to it. You will really achieve something if you can get through gamble free. Great that you have "barriers" in place. You have prepared yourself well by the sounds of it.

Enjoy the day, hope the sun shines for you all....

Hey Claire you'll be on the train by now, don't be afraid or worried, enjoy the break, enjoy being with your sister. Of course it will be hard surrounded by all those 'bandits' and it will be brilliant if you get thru without having a bet - but it wont be the end of the world if you do - just a minor setback. Take the pressure off yourself and enjoy - be safe James

Hi Claire!

It's great reading how well you are doing - putting the practical measures in place to maintain some bet - free time - good on you, girl! It's a bit of a dailyu slog for a while, but minute by minute, we gain our freedom. Hope you have a lovely weekend.

Love,

Kerrie

Hi all

got back from blackpool yesterday, i gambled, no surprise there then, won on the first day which was fatal, gave me the buzz. there was just too much temptation. am back home now and determined to continue with my recovery. no arcades, no bingo. just hoping i can get back on track. am tired today, dont feel too good. was dreaming again, flashing lights etc. i know it'll pass.

take care all, claire xx

Hi claire, you will get back on track. Like me last week, I took my eye off the ball and slipped. But it was asking a lot of you being surrounded by all those machines, blackpool weather generally doesnt encourage us to sit by the beach does it?

But now your back at home you can get back to your routine and knuckle down. hope it was a nice break. all the best and renewed strength. love jan x

Hi all

thanks for posting me jan. it was too much, part of me wishes i'd never gone, i knew. but it was my sisters birthday. need to be a bit more assertive i think, learn to say NO!

been home all day haven't been anywhere i could've gambled an i have no money anyway.

am worrying about when i start work full time in september, i want to save a little in case my contract ends after the 12 months, i want to pay off my debts, have a nice christmas. i know none of this is possible if i gamble both financially and emotionally. when i gamble i am miserable. i know that its meant to be one day at a time but because i'm struggling to stop gambling i'm worrying about the long term, i know where it leads for me and my family. i cant carry on doing this to them.

my mums job is being changed from full to part time, my dads disabled so i will now be the main earner in our house. i want to help out, i have plans of what i will do for them each month but i know if i'm gambling this wont be possible. i do have barriers but i can tweak them as i see fit, i put them in place i can remove them. i am going to try a new thing with my money (my sister). this wont be as easy to tweak to my requirements.

just got to keep trying, be positive, i can do this!

take care all, claire xx

just got to keep trying, be positive, i can do this!

Yes Claire you can !!!!!!

Kim xx

Hi Claire,

You're doing great, mate. I know that you battle a bit to stay bet-free, but you are sounding more positive and determined than ever before.

It's possible that somehow, you are preparing yourself to gamble a while before you do it - so that in the moment of temptation you resistance is down. It's a matter of observing your thinking. Also, of putting yourself before everything and everyone else if you feel vulnerable. It's ok to do this, you know. You, Claire, are worth it! It's magic to read how positive you are - like you are no longer letting this thing grind you down - you are standing up to fight! Good on you, girl! You CAN do it!

Love,

Kerrie